I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love.

Between crying fits and pots of coffee, I started to wonder why I had become so attatched to Gerard. He just seemed to get me so quickly. Then I thought how lame that sounded. I decided to take a nap when I heard Frank’s car pull up. I went to the window. He just sat in his car for a while, then he got out and leaned on the hood for a while. I knew this wasn’t a good sign. It meant he was thinking of a good way to break the horrible news to me. I thought about pretending to be asleep, but just figured it wasn’t going to accomplish much so I sat on the bed and turned on the TV.

I heard his footsteps and bit my lip but realized I had lost the urge to cry. He came through door, smile-less, but not too intense looking. He sat next to me on the bed and kissed me on the forehead.

“So, what’s up, doc?” I sqeaked out, trying to sound over it.

“Well...it is his girlfriend, but there’s good and bad news.” Frank professed.

I just stared ahead at the TV.

“Let’s start with the bad news, then. They’ve been together for about a year, and she’s, I guess, really into him. Mikey said that Gerard is really private and doesn’t talk about girls a lot, but...”

He looked over at me and I could see a smile on his face out of the corner of my eye, trying to get me to do the same. But I didn’t.

“She’s been stressing him out lately, and he doesn’t even like her anymore.”

I turned to him with the most confused, questioning, sarcastic look on my face.

I turned back to the TV, “You’re lying.”

“Swear to God!”

“No one says, ‘he doesn’t even like her anymore’.”

“What are you talking about? They’re this close to breaking up. It’s good news! Give it a few weeks and some more late night makeout sessions in his basement, and you’re in!”

“Hey! Fuck you. We never even made out...in his room.” While I was somewhat offended Frankie had made me smile.

“What! ...wait, what? What does ‘not in his room’ mean?”

“Well, you remember when we ditched you at the diner that one time?”

“So that’s what you were doing... I see. He must be a good kisser because you guys were gone a fucking LONG TIME!”

“Ha! It wasn’t that long... wait stop, stop making me laugh, I’m supposed to me miserable because...”

“Some guy you just met lied to you. Why....”

“Don’t ask why, because I don’t know. I just don’t know. He’s like.. you, but I’m attracted to him.”

“You’re not attracted to me?! ME?!” he gasped.

“Of course not. I mean, you’re attractive-”

“Damn, right...” he cut me off.

“But I’m not attracted to you. Plus, you’re short.”

“Ouch. Just cause some shit guy fucked you over you doesn’t mean I get the third degree from you!” he joked.

“Sure it does, you’re my best friend.”

“Aw, shucks, thank you, you’re mine, too. Sooooo, back to girl talk, you think he’s waaaay sexy?” Frankie asked in an exaggerated girly voice.

“Haha... Um, I don’t really want to talk about it...” I trailed.

“Of course you do, just pretend I’m a girl. Pretend I’m Natalie.”

“If you were Natalie, we’d be talking about you, Frankie, and I’d barely ever get a word in about a boy.”

“Really?” he asked in a slightly embarrassed tone only I could ever pick up on, “I mean whatever, tell me what he has that I don’t.”

“Well, he has ...great...hair.”

Frankie raised his eyebrows amused.

“I mean, the way it falls around his face, in his eyes. I just want to jump his bones right there on his fucking desk.” I scooted back on the bed and leaned on the bedframe. Frankie layed on his back, his head turned in my direction, and his legs off the bed.

“There was this one time when I was waiting outside his bedroom door, you know how it’s the basement and there is a door on the side of the house, down the stairs?” I asked, searching for words to explain it.

“Yeah.” Frankie repiled.

“Okay, I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting, it was like he couldn’t hear me or something, but no music was on or anything. I almost left, but I decided to try the door before I just left.” I sounded so stupid and awkward.

“Right.”

“It was open and I walked in expecting him to notice me, but he didn’t. He was bent over his desk, furiously... doing something. He was painting. It was like I didn’t even exist. I walked over to him. He finally realized my presence out of the corner of his eye. He had this crazy smile on his face. Some Cecile B. Demented shit. It was funny. He glanced up at me from his work and stared at me for a second. He seemed... embarrassed? Maybe that’s what it was, I felt like I caught him in the cookie jar. I knew a secret and I thought he would be mad at me, but he looked at me with a primal, animalistic look. He put his hands on my face and pulled me into a kiss. The most amazingly intense kiss. He moved his hands down to my waist and pulled me close to him. I ran my fingers through his hair and then rested my arms around his neck. The kiss slowed and he gently moved his hands up to my neck again. We pecked a few more times and stopped to breathe. When we snapped out of it we realized he had gotten paint all fucking over me.” I started to giggle and almost forgot I was saying this out loud, let alone the Frankie was still in the room on the same bed.

“Wow, that was hot. He wins at life.” Frankie muttered bluntly.

He looked up at me and when I met his gaze we started laughing hysterically.

“Ah, fuck, man,” I confessed, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, “I’m so screwed. I mean, he has a girlfriend? What the fuck?”

Frankie’s smile weakened a bit and he sat up on the bed, “Babe, you know that if he breaks your heart again... I will fucking kill him.”

“Frankie,...,” I said smiling, but when I realized he was serious, I stopped, “Sweetheart,” I was whispering, “... um, yeah, I know.” I looked at the floor, I loved him so much.

He came up and hugged me.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you, too, babe. We’ll work this out. It might just need some bloody knuckles, though.”

I laughed at him.