Sugar, Spice and Everything Vice

Jordan

“Why are we all wearing oversized trench coats right now?” Sebastian asked as we waited for our tech crew to finish setting up our equipment. I stopped humming the lyrics to one of our songs to stare at our bassist.
“It’s all apart of Operation: Really, Really, Ridiculously Good Looking… don’t go giving poor Jordan a heart attack now!” Luke laughed as he joined our small group with a red plastic cup in hand.

Rule #1 of Touring With Jordan…. One will not be permitted to perform while intoxicated. If one or more members are intoxicated they will be replaced for the evening and confined to the bus.

Yes… touring with me isn’t a choice.. it’s a lifestyle…..

Luke rolled his eyes as he noticed me peeking into the cup. He held the cup out for me to smell. I took a whiff preparing to be met with the unique odor that Redbull and Vodka have been known to omit. I slowly pushed the cup away from my face after realizing that it was only water. Luke 1 Jordan 0

“We are NEVER doing this again!” Roxii cried as Blake dragged her towards our small group.
“You know you LOVE this!” Luke screamed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder only to have her shake it off.
“Hey! At least you’re sitting down the entire set!” Blake shouted trying to convince her that “this” wasn’t ALL that bad.
“Whatever, by the way Jordan… I hope you like cake…” She smirked as she walked onstage. I looked at the guys to see if any of them knew what that meant. Luke ran onstage cup still in hand with Sebastian in tow while Blake shrugged his shoulders.

How the hell am I supposed to perform knowing that Roxii has something up her sleeves?

Vicky

“What are you doing?” I asked as I watched the one and only Pete Wentz apply makeup on Gabe’s face. Both men turned around.
“Close the door Vicky!” Gabe growled as Pete turned the chair around to face the mirror. I slowly closed the door.
“I’m going to ask this once and only once. What the hell are you guys doing?”

Gabe

“Oh dear God!” Vicky muttered as she covered her face with her hands.
“I know! This has to be Roxii’s best idea since Ryland’s last birthday!” Pete laughed as he finished applying the makeup. We all remember Ryland’s birthday party that Little Columbia had thrown. The events that took place that night are not to be spoken of… at all.

“You’re not going to go on stage, right?” Vicky asked as I searched through the bags of “clothes” that Roxii had “delivered” this morning.
“No Vicky! We just spent the last hour applying makeup onto my face just to wash it ALL off!” I added sarcastically as I took my shirt off.
“You know that there’s at least 8 other males that would have been more than happy to take your place?”

…. Eight?

Jordan

“Hello, New York how are you?” I shouted into the mic as the crowd screamed.
“I’m guessing that they’re doing alright!” Luke added as he placed his guitar strap over his head.
“Was it just me or was John Oh looking super delicious onstage tonight?” Luke asked as he licked his lips. The crowd laughed.
“Did you guys like… Forever the Sickest Kids?” I asked cupping my ear toward the crowd. “Sweet. They’re looking a lot healthier these days.” Luke added. Luke has some obsession with making jokes about FTSK’s health. Freak.
“How about All Time Low?” Once again the crowd screamed in unison. I looked over the crowd before meeting the eyes of no other than Alex Gaskarth’s. How odd?

Jack

“See! They are hookers!” Alex joked as Little Colombia walked onstage wearing matching trench coats.

A few minutes later…

“Well you all are probably trying to figure out what’s up with the trench coats…” Jordan spoke into the mic as she adjusted the belt of her coat.
“A most of you know, our band is known for doing something “special” for the first date of our last tour of the year. Since today is not ONLY that special day of the year BUT, also Jordan’s birthday we decided that she should pick what we do.”
Luke explained as retuned his guitar to his liking.
“What Jordan chose for us to do isn’t exactly something I want to explain so…” Blake’s voice drowned out as he and his bandmates began to undress?

Jordan

This has to be the best idea ever. Period. My original idea was good but this is way better.

“You may or may not be wondering why we are wearing French maid costumes. “ Blake started as he hand his coat to Jenna, who was trying her hardest not to stare at his hairy thighs.
“In short, Jordan is a sadist who may or may not have a costume fetish.” Luke winked in my direction as I rolled my eyes.

“Since it’s Jordan’s 21st birthday, Roxii decided to try to top last year’s gift.”
Last year Roxii had organized an entire performance of Chicago in the parking lot of a dingy Motel 6. Although it was a strange idea, it had become one of my favorite gifts.
“Before we bring her gift out we’re gonna play a song off of our new record.”

Pete

“Come on Gabe. Just get in and it will be over before you know.”
“there’s no way in hell that I’m getting into that thing.” Gabe protested.
“If you’re not in there by the time I get back I will have Roxii drag you out…”