You wear me like a locket around your throat
Joy
I walked through the mall after school with Jon. I haven't been here in ages. Me and Ryan
used to come here all the time. There's this air hokey table in the arcade that's crazy.
"I really like spending time with you." Jon smiled and grabbed my hand. "I really like
spending time with you too." i told him as we passed the arcade. I saw Ryan in there with
that Nikki girl.
He looked happy, and that tore me to pieces and glued me back together at the same time. I
know its selfish, but I wanted him to miss me, to be torn up about what I did. But I also
wanted him to be happy. after all, I did do what I did for him to be happy. Hes better off
without me. The game was about to end and I knew Ryan would look up. i didn't want him
to see me like this. So I started walking pulling Jon away from some cell phone stand. Just
as I grabbed his hand and we started walking I saw Ryan look up at me.
Its for the best I told myself. Now I only had to convince myself of that.
"You OK?" Jon asked as I pulled him into some perfume shop when I saw Ryan exit the
arcade shortly after we had walked away. Dammit, I knew he saw me!
"Yeah, I uh, just wanted to smell Britney Spears' new perfume. I haven't smelled it yet and I
heard it smells really good." Of all shops I had to drag us into this one. I fucking hate
perfume. Oh gosh, here they come, they're walking, IN! Oh shit. I pulled Jon behind a shelve
and ducked before they saw us. I think we might just get away un noticed.
"Oh come on Ryan. I really want to see if they have the 'hat' perfume Ive been wanted." I
heard Nikki plead Ryan to come in with her.
"No, really Nikki. I hate perfume shops. I'll just wait out here." He tried to stay outside of the
shop's doors.
"What are we doing?" Jon asked. i clapped my hand over his mouth and motioned over to
Ryan. His eyes seemed to say 'oh' and I removed my hand.
"Fine fine, but please hurry. If I stay in here to long, Joy?" I looked up from my crouch near to
the floor.
"Ah, found it! OK, lets go Jon." I stood up pretending to put my lost and newly found earring
back in.
"Wait, Joy." Ryan tried to grab my shoulder but I slipped past his grip.
"Ryan, please." i asked him turning around and walking backward out of the store. "Just
leave me alone. Please." It broke my heart to tell him that but I had to say it. Ryan deserves
so much more than me.
Jon and I walked a few stores before my phone started to buzz in my pocket.
ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM : RYRO Of course. I opened the message anyways.
I love you to much to leave you alone. Please talk to me.
This boy is just asking for it isn't he? I signed and replied.
Its for you Ry, This is all for you. Why wont you just accept that?
Within seconds he replied.
I don't think that's true. I miss my best friend. Please let me in. I don't care if I get hurt. i just
want to be able to talk to you. I miss you so so so much Joy.
A silent tear rolled down my cheek as I read the message over and over. By this point Jon
had left me be and I was sitting against a cold tile wall looking out at the passing crowd.
I'm so scared Ry. I'm so so so scared and i want my best friend back too but I'm afraid
that ll bring back memories and feelings. besides, you don't need anymore drama in your
life. you have enough on your plate without adding my fucked up life.
My fingers wobbled over the keys of my phone. Tears were now streaming down my face
and I was chokeing back sobs.
where are you?
told him where i was and within a minute he was sitting down beside me cradling my
shaking body. I'm just so damn scared.
used to come here all the time. There's this air hokey table in the arcade that's crazy.
"I really like spending time with you." Jon smiled and grabbed my hand. "I really like
spending time with you too." i told him as we passed the arcade. I saw Ryan in there with
that Nikki girl.
He looked happy, and that tore me to pieces and glued me back together at the same time. I
know its selfish, but I wanted him to miss me, to be torn up about what I did. But I also
wanted him to be happy. after all, I did do what I did for him to be happy. Hes better off
without me. The game was about to end and I knew Ryan would look up. i didn't want him
to see me like this. So I started walking pulling Jon away from some cell phone stand. Just
as I grabbed his hand and we started walking I saw Ryan look up at me.
Its for the best I told myself. Now I only had to convince myself of that.
"You OK?" Jon asked as I pulled him into some perfume shop when I saw Ryan exit the
arcade shortly after we had walked away. Dammit, I knew he saw me!
"Yeah, I uh, just wanted to smell Britney Spears' new perfume. I haven't smelled it yet and I
heard it smells really good." Of all shops I had to drag us into this one. I fucking hate
perfume. Oh gosh, here they come, they're walking, IN! Oh shit. I pulled Jon behind a shelve
and ducked before they saw us. I think we might just get away un noticed.
"Oh come on Ryan. I really want to see if they have the 'hat' perfume Ive been wanted." I
heard Nikki plead Ryan to come in with her.
"No, really Nikki. I hate perfume shops. I'll just wait out here." He tried to stay outside of the
shop's doors.
"What are we doing?" Jon asked. i clapped my hand over his mouth and motioned over to
Ryan. His eyes seemed to say 'oh' and I removed my hand.
"Fine fine, but please hurry. If I stay in here to long, Joy?" I looked up from my crouch near to
the floor.
"Ah, found it! OK, lets go Jon." I stood up pretending to put my lost and newly found earring
back in.
"Wait, Joy." Ryan tried to grab my shoulder but I slipped past his grip.
"Ryan, please." i asked him turning around and walking backward out of the store. "Just
leave me alone. Please." It broke my heart to tell him that but I had to say it. Ryan deserves
so much more than me.
Jon and I walked a few stores before my phone started to buzz in my pocket.
ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM : RYRO Of course. I opened the message anyways.
I love you to much to leave you alone. Please talk to me.
This boy is just asking for it isn't he? I signed and replied.
Its for you Ry, This is all for you. Why wont you just accept that?
Within seconds he replied.
I don't think that's true. I miss my best friend. Please let me in. I don't care if I get hurt. i just
want to be able to talk to you. I miss you so so so much Joy.
A silent tear rolled down my cheek as I read the message over and over. By this point Jon
had left me be and I was sitting against a cold tile wall looking out at the passing crowd.
I'm so scared Ry. I'm so so so scared and i want my best friend back too but I'm afraid
that ll bring back memories and feelings. besides, you don't need anymore drama in your
life. you have enough on your plate without adding my fucked up life.
My fingers wobbled over the keys of my phone. Tears were now streaming down my face
and I was chokeing back sobs.
where are you?
told him where i was and within a minute he was sitting down beside me cradling my
shaking body. I'm just so damn scared.