Dust and Shades of Grey

WiL's Point of View

Deryk was getting smarter, that much was certain. Give it a few more days and he'll catch us. I looked at Rhianne asleep in my lap and sighed; I think it's time we left the city. But how? With no money we couldn't rely on public transport and in these times it definitely wasn't safe to hitch hike. Stealing was also out of the question; that's all we needed - get locked up and we'd be sitting ducks. The only realistic option was to walk, but Rhianne had proven today that that wasn't safe either. We weren't even safe here - nowhere was safe.

Rhainne stirred and dragged me out of my thoughts, but I plunged back into them as soon as she had settled. I toyed with another idea that had slowly been forming in my head, one that neither Rhianne or I would like, but I'm sure we could pull it off. Rhianne would head out of the city and I would act as a decoy, probably getting killed in the process. I tried to think of a way around it but couldn't. Subconsciously my mind was already made up, and sacrificing myself for Rhianne would be the perfect way to go. It was decided, and now to tell...
"What are you thinking about?"
I jumped; Rhianne had been watching me without me realising.
"Nana." I lied smoothly while I spotted the flaw in my plan - Nana. I'd promised Rhianne I'd get her back, but how could I do that without alerting Deryk to my whereabouts? We were in a big mess.

"Sometimes I wish I had Deryk's ability," Rhianne said thoughtfully.
I looked down at her, a slightly shocked expression on my face; why would she want to kill people?
She saw the look I gave her and explained, "you always close yourself off in your mind, I'd just like to know what goes on in there."
She stifled a yawn and smiled at me.
"Trust me, your head would explode at the complicatedness," I joked, ruffling her hair.
"Ugh, get off" she said, pushing my hand away, "my hair is disgusting."
"If it's any consolation, I've been in worse states." And it was true, I had. Before the whole vampire thing I think I'd forgotten what a bath was. Those days made me sad, thinking of how much I hurt Rhianne and didn't even care. I was disgusted with who I used to be. I guess I'm not much better now; I need to kill people to survive. But back then I was killing Rhianne for no reason...

The world was spinning, I felt sick, like when you'd spent too much time at the playground on the roundabout. The fact that I hadn't eaten for nearly a week didn't help my nausea either.

I stumbled out onto the road, barely missing an oncoming car. The driver sounded his horn and shouted some insult out of the window. I gave him the finger; he didn't have the right to curse at me.
I recognised the street I was on. It was a nice peaceful place. The houses on the left were perched on the bank of a lake, overlooking the water. Most of the houses had little jetis sticking out onto the lake, except the house I was aiming for.
I reached my destination - just - and leant over the garden wall, throwing up what was left of my insides. Nothing came up but water. I wretched again, but there was nothing left to come out, nothing at all to keep my body standing, so I collapsed onto the mud, where I stayed for a very long time.

"WiL?" After what seemed like an age, someone final spoke to me, the junkie waste of space barely alive on the floor. "WiL, are you okay?" The girl sounded panicked. I mumbled something illegible and lifted up a hand to show I could hear. "C'mon, let's get you warm." Warm hands grabbed hold of my arms and hoisted me up. The girl seemed to struggle with the weight of me, but eventually she managed to get one of my arms over her shoulder. "I don't understand why you let yourself get like this." She exhaled a long, shaky breath - it almost sounded like she was crying.
"MmcosI like it," I slurred, swallowing the salty, vomity saliva that had filled my mouth. I could feel more warmth now, and could hear a TV somewhere off in the distance. I could only see my feet and I watched the wooden floor move beneath me.
I wasn't walking long before I was placed in something hard. I tried to look around but I felt so dizzy I thought I would throw up if I opened my eyes any more. I heard running water and felt a warmth on my leg, I guessed I was in a bathtub.
The girl reappeared near my head and took my jacket off, leaving me in a t-shirt and jeans.
"Don't worry about your clothes, you still have some here from the last time you stayed," she said softly. So I'd been here before? I heard a bang and a smash but it didn't make me jump. The girl came back and pressed something cold into my hand.
"Drink this," she said.
"What was that smash?" I slurred.
"Nothing, I just dropped a glass." Her voice was shaking; she seemed to be upset about something. I took a sip of what she had given me, it was just water.
After a long pause, I heard her get up. "You stay here and warm up, I'll be in my room. Your clothes are hung on the door."

That was one of the only occasions I can remember when Rhianne had found me. My insides ached with guilt; how could I not see what I was doing to her? I forced a smile at her and she squinted at me curiously. She loved me so much, how could I tell her I was planning to die for her?