Living on Perfectly Remembered Memories

Franchesa

Months have passed. Today is the first day of April. I usually love the spring. That means I can take pictures after sun showers. They don't happen much but when they do, I can't help but to smile outrageously.

Those were the only times I had a genuine smile nowadays. Ever since the New Year's party, Matt and I haven't been best friends. I honestly don't know what happened. All I did was ask if he loved me.

Why couldn't he answer? I always say it to him. Not once, has he said it in return. His answers are always "You too" or "Yup." That really hurts but I always hide it and brush it off as though it's nothing.

Everyone who isn't in the group I always hang out with still think that we're best friends. Sometimes people are so oblivious. I mean sure, we still walk home together, walk to the same classes together, and act as though nothing has changed. But under that entire act, our friendship is falling apart. We're falling apart and I don't fucking know why!

I miss having pointless conversations with him. I miss when we used to hang out and do nothing for hours nonstop. I miss having to baby sit him when his parents have to go somewhere. I just miss him.

I even tried "finding" a new best friend. It sounds horrible but it really isn't as bad as it does sound. I found myself spending more time with Rafael. Soccer season ended after January so we had four good months to get to know each other.

In some ways, he reminds me of Matt. He's an athlete, has fun doing anything, is super friendly, and he's protective. He isn't as bad as Matt is but he will hurt someone if he found out someone made me cry. He's so much like Matt.

I sighed, watching Rafael put his racket away. Oh, his surprise he told me about when we were at the Halloween party; he's on the tennis team as well. He told me that he was fairly famous in Spain. His uncle made him move to the States to up his stardom. The stardom part hasn't happened yet but I can't deny that he's a fabulous tennis player. He moves so quickly on the courts, it's next to impossible for him to miss any balls.

After he finished packing his things, he walked up to the bleachers, embracing me in a sweaty hug.

"Ew!" I screeched, slapping his chest.

He chuckled, unhinging himself from me. "Ah, I am sorry. However, you did look like you needed something unexpected to happen."

"I might have but you didn't have to hug me in all your smelliness!" I groaned, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Again, I am sorry. What do you think about ice cream? I shall buy you one if you want one."

I couldn't hide the smile. You can win me over with ice cream any day. I grabbed my tote bag and ran down the steps. Rafael was still sitting.

"Well what are you waiting for?" I shouted.

He shook his head, running down the steps at double my speed. We walked out of the park, laughing and goofing off. I have been sad for the past few months but when I'm with Rafael, I always seem to forget my troubles until I'm alone.

I frowned, staring down at my shoes. It was probably obvious I was sad. Rafael tried to catch my attention by poking my ribs. I squirmed and jumped. He chuckled at me. I pointed a finger at him. "Don't do that!"

He stopped chuckling but he wasn't looking at me either. He looked straight ahead. I turned my gaze to the left. There stood Matt with a gym bag slung over his shoulder. I couldn't see his eyes since he had sunglasses on.

"Matt?" I squeaked, feeling my eyes tear up.

He shook his head quickly and crossed the street. I took a step after him but Rafael grabbed my arm. I looked back at him. A few tears fell from my eyes.

He closed his eyes. "Franchesa, please do not go after him," he begged.

"Why shouldn't I?" I muttered.

"It will only hurt."

"Wait, you're Matt's friend! Does he talk about me?" I had a blind hope that Matt was just playing a huge game with me. That he only wanted to see how long I could last without him.

Rafael nodded, walking a few steps ahead of me. I walked along side with him, eager to hear what he was going to say, if he was going to say anything.

Rafael's lips pursed together. "He does talk about you when we are in Gym. He told me many a time that he could not believe you two were best friends. He said that those seven years of friendship was nothing more than stupidity. He said that he finally realized that the two of you could no longer be friends. He did not tell me why though."

I shuddered. Is that what he truly feels? Our friendship was a waste of time? In seven years, all my secrets I told him were for nothing? So he lied about his secrets he told me? He never wanted to be my friend in the first place? All of this was a lie?

I felt arms wrap around my body. I dared to peek at the person's eyes, hoping it was Matt. I hoped all of this was a horrible dream. I peered into dark brown eyes, not the hazel-green eyes I always loved. I sobbed even more, realizing how stupid I was! How blind could I be? There were probably times he was lying so easily to me, yet I believed everything he said. I'm stupid. So, so stupid.

"I am so sorry," Rafael whispered, hugging me tighter. I felt my hands shake against his chest. That meant my whole body was trembling too.

"I'm sorry too, Rafael. I'm sorry I ever said hello to him seven years ago."