Living on Perfectly Remembered Memories

You know I'm old when I can't remember the last time I've been to the skate park. It took an excited Kenny wearing his helmet, safety gear, and carrying his worn out skateboard to drag me out of bed. That's bad.

When did I become so lazy? I think it came with the realization that this is my last year of high school, so I can afford to sit around and do nothing all the time.

Graduation was only a few scarce months away. While girls were worrying about dates and dresses to senior prom, I was worrying about anything but that.

Prom wasn't important to me anymore. It was for a week or two until it struck me that I was going to college soon where I would be separated from the people I cared about the most.

That brought on those dreadful questions no one wants to think about. Are we still going to be friends? Who's going to move away? What are we doing for the rest of ours lives? Does "friends forever" really mean anything?

There's no use hitting depression here. I'm sure the time will come when the situation will show up again. I'll worry to death about it then.

It's a good thing Kenny pushed me out of the house. I've been neglecting photography and it was such a bright day. Either way, I'm out, and I'm now about.

"Have you learned new tricks?" asked I.

Kenny looked up at me through his helmet and grinned. "I know how to Boardslide, Grind, and Ollie!"

"Uh...that's awesome!" I replied, trying to understand what he just told me.

"Yeah it is! Brian's going to teach me how to Kickflip today!"

I stopped at the mention of Brian's name. Luckily, we were in front of the skate park entrance as well.

"Kenny?" I called, licking my lips. He looked back at me with that usual smile of his. "I thought the last time you saw Brian was when I took you here."

"Nope," he shook his head. "Matt and Brian take me lots of times to skate."

He smiled again and ran into the heart of the park, hopping onto his skateboard. I stood there, watching my little brother interact with the other skaters. He looked so happy zooming by on that board of his.

Guilt fell heavily down on me. When did I ever become too busy for my little brother? I love him to death and it seems like I had forgotten about him. In a sense, I have. God what is wrong with me?

I sighed, walking along the edge of the gates towards the benches all the way in the front. I sat down and watched as Brian and Matt's muscular figures walked up to Kenny and smiled down at him. The three of them looked like they were having careless fun.

Swiftly, I took my camera out of my bag and took pictures of skaters passing by and of the three people I knew here. Brian had succeeded in teaching Kenny that Kickflip move he was talking about before.

Matt looked over to the benches and locked eyes with me. I smiled faintly, putting my camera away. He looked from left to right before running towards me. We kept the staring contest until he sat down next to me.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," I replied.

"So, we're seniors aren't we? What are you doing for college?"

"Photography."

"Oh right, how could I forget?" He gave his adorable dimpled grin.

"Yup. I might even have to go for two years only. I'm taking some extra classes since my schedule is practically open this year. What are you doing for college?"

"I'm not going."

My mouth was agape at his blunt statement. My mind went into a frenzy. "What? Why not?"

"The band. I swear we're gonna make it big Fran."

"Matt...Are you sure?"

He looked at me again, the grin even bigger now. "Positive. You should go to one of our practices. We sound really good."

"Maybe, I'm sure we'll go." He's willing to give up his education, give up football for music? I hope he makes the right choice.

"Wait, who is "we'll"?" he air quoted with his fingers.

"Me...Rafael..."

He groans. "Why do you have to bring him everywhere?"

"He's my boyfriend," I stated firmly.

"I get that. I get that you like spending time with him, but you don't have to smother each other! Sometimes you need time to be with just your friends."

I gasped and clenched my fists. "Is that what everyone wanted to say to me the day before the camping trip?"

"Yes."

"So when we get all awkward, it is because of me..."

"NO. It's because of him."

"Are you only saying that because you don't like him?"

"My dislike for him has nothing to do with this. Everyone else agrees. Hell, even Angel agrees! That's a powerful statement if even she thinks Rafael is the reason we sort of drifted apart. You and the others, not me and you."

"But Matt, he's my boyfriend. I can't brush him off like that."

"No one told you to." He licked his lips. "Look, you're going to watch us practice tomorrow. Rafael has no idea of this. Keep it that way unless he asks, but don't let him come. I only want you to see us perform. You have to learn to balance your friends with your boyfriend."

Everyone keeps saying that.