Living on Perfectly Remembered Memories

She came back today. She's been gone, on that tennis tour with her boyfriend. The boyfriend I would kill so I could take his spot. How is it possible he hasn't angered or hurt her enough? I would never want Franchesa to cry, but Rafael isn't perfect. So why does it seem like he is? I just wish she were mine to hold, to kiss, to care for.

She hasn't been back for even five hours and she already wants to spend time with me. I feel so...special. And I know this is when I can take advantage of how I act towards her. This is when I can act like the loving boyfriend to her. We're best friends so she won't mind and she won't shove me away. What I would give her to reciprocate the reactions I want from her.

Behind closed doors is when Fran shows me her caring side. It's like she isn't afraid to show me some of the physical love I want from her but never shows that affection when we're out in public. But I know, I know that's because of Rafael. Still, I go on loving her, even though I know it is possible she would never feel the same, but I don't care because I know for sure no other girl could make me feel the things Fran makes me feel.

Although she was in college and my once temporary job was a construction worker, I was still able to see her everyday. She usually walked by the construction site every morning to say hi to me.

My day didn't begin unless I got to see her. And if she's sick for a day and can't go to school, I skipped work to go visit her. Every time, she yelled at me and she may hit me too but it's all worth it. Money isn't important to me; it never was. But then, all of a sudden, I received all this fame because of the band. It's really a dream come true.

Even with the band, I still find time to talk to her. I could be busy touring or in the middle of creating a new album, but I still have time to spend with her. What is she doing? She's traveling the world watching her boyfriend play tennis and taking pictures of tennis matches. I sound busier than she does.

All of that agitation throws itself out the window whenever I'm with her. I get self-conscious, nervous, happy, and scared. Self-conscious because what if she doesn't like my new look? I buy metal band tees and cut off the sleeves to show off my muscle and tattoos.

Nervous because I don't want to say the wrong thing to anger her.

Happy because she wants to spend time with me. I'm lucky she's still my friend.

Scared; for what if one day she figures it all out? Then I'm ruined. She can't know. I'm not ready to tell her, but knowing my luck, she will find out. And then I'm screwed.

There's so much "drama" surrounding her. So why do I stay? I'd rather feel this way for my best friend than date another girl and have her break my heart once again. One broken heart is enough. Falling completely in love with my best friend is enough.

She's been away from me for too long. I have to admit, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. At random intervals of the day, my heart seems to hurt painfully, physically. I can't move, I can't think, I can't see anything but her. I'm so in love this is getting a bit too much.

They all worry about me. Jimmy, Brian, Zacky, Johnny, Josh, Leana, Jessica, and Angel. Even Amy worries about me and she's only in high school. Then again, I was in high school when I fell in love. Maybe my baby sister knows a thing or two.

What am I going to say to her when I see her? She decided to meet up at the local diner that just opened up. I've been there a few times. It has a girly atmosphere, but Fran would love it. There's all these funky designs on the wall, hand painted. It looks really cool. I can imagine her taking pictures with her camera as soon as we get there. She's so adorable.

Crap. I'm already here and I don't know what to say to her. Crap, this isn't good. Well, I'll just have to wing this.

I pushed the door open and walked inside. There weren't a lot of people here, but then again it wasn't empty. I looked around, searching for those gorgeous green eyes. My eyes caught hers in just a few seconds. She smiled and stood from her seat.

I walked closer and closer towards her, my footsteps amplified to my ears. I could hear my heart pound furiously against my chest. When I was in hugging distance, she lifted her toned arms for a hug.

I went in for it until I saw that huge rock on her finger. My Franchesa...she's engaged?