Kill Me.

Callum’s body was so warm and his embrace made Lee feel so safe; Lee couldn’t help falling asleep. He dreamed sweet, nonsensical dreams that he promptly forgot when he woke again many hours later. He awoke in his bed, undressed to his boxers, though he distinctly remembered falling asleep on the couch some hours before, definitely fully dressed and leaning against Callum’s shoulder.

Lee sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes sleepily. His comforter bunched up around his waist and he could hear the soft babbling of the TV coming from the living room. He wondered if Callum was still here.

Lee pushed himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie. He slipped out of his head out of his bedroom and tip-toed down the hall to the living room. Upon peeking in, he saw Callum sitting rather stiffly on the couch, arms crossed and face set in a stoic expression. He was wearing a different outfit than Lee remembered from before he fell asleep. Lee cleared his throat.

Callum looked suddenly over at Lee, looking as if he’d just snapped out of a trance. Lee smiled weakly at Callum and went over to sit next to him, bringing his knees up to his chest and peering over at Callum warily. Callum had this strange, almost haunted look in his eye, and Lee was worried and perhaps a little scared. He’d never seen Callum like this before.

“Sleep well?” Callum asked after a moment, and even then, his voice sounded different than Lee remembered, foreign.

Lee nodded. Another quiet moment passed and Lee asked, “A-are you okay? You seem a little… off.”

Callum visibly flinched and quickly looked away. His expression darkened considerably and he answered shortly, “It’s nothing.”

Lee furrowed his eyebrows and scooted closer to Callum. “If something’s bothering you, you can tell me,” he said quietly.

Callum didn’t respond, at least not for a minute or two. Lee bit his lip and shifted uncomfortably, wishing, not for the first time, that he could read Callum’s mind. Callum was so strange and hard to read all the time; Lee wished he could see, just a little bit, what was going on in Callum’s head all day.

“Why?” Callum suddenly demanded, voice sharp.

Lee blinked at Callum. “What?”

Callum sighed, “Why do you like me so much?”

Lee opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t know what to say. He closed his mouth again. What could he say? It wasn’t like there was one particular thing that made him so drawn to Callum. It was more like everything that was Callum, his little ticks and habits, the way he made Lee feel safe when it really counted, the way he looked when he scowled, everything, but that would be too weird to say.

“I-I-I don’t know,” Lee stammered quietly. “I just do. I like being around you.”

Callum frowned. “You shouldn’t,” he said, and something about his voice made it sound like a warning.

Lee’s face fell into an obstinate pout. “And why not?” he challenged.

Callum pressed his lips together in a thin line and narrowed his eyes. Lee could almost see the gears in his head turning as he worked to come up with a suitable explanation.

“I’m not nice,” Callum said finally. He spoke slowly, carefully. “I’m bitter and distant and not a whole lot of fun to be around. Honestly, I don’t see why you’d want to be around me. I wouldn’t want to be around me.”

“But I want to,” Lee said, timid but absolutely sure. “I mean… I don’t know. I just feel really… really safe around you. It’s nice.”

Callum looked at Lee in wonder, completely bewildered. It was as if Callum had never heard anything like this before, never known it was possible for someone to care about another. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with this newly acquired information. Lee smiled softly and leaned over to place a light kiss on Callum’s cheek.

“Thank you,” he said in a small voice, “You know, for taking care of me. I really appreciate it.” And then as sort of an afterthought, he added, “It’s nice to have some company every once in a while.”

He nodded once, as if to punctuate the end of his sentence, and then stood, realizing how hungry he was, to go to find something to eat. Perhaps now would be a good time for lunch, he thought. He looked over his shoulder at Callum, who still had that same expression of someone in awe.

“Would you like something to eat?” Lee asked.

Callum blinked slowly, turning to face Lee, his eyes still holding a rather dazed look. “Um, yeah, sure,” he replied. Lee was surprised at how lost Callum sounded.