Kill Me.

Lee had been so sure it was going to happen, simply aching for it, that when the moment slipped through his fingers, pushed aside by an awkward stumble of words and gestures, he felt the hollow sensation of disappointment flood his being. That was why he’d so suddenly reached out and grabbed Callum’s wrist, that was why he spun a very shocked looking Callum around, that was why he stepped up on his toes to press his lips firmly but gently to Callum’s – or at least, that’s what he told himself. It could’ve been simply because he just really wanted to kiss Callum, without any of that “disappointment” stuff, but Lee didn’t think of that. In any event, it didn’t end up mattering very much.

The instant Lee’s lips touched Callum’s, his first thought was one of surprise – his lips are so soft. His second thought was holy fuck, I hope Callum doesn’t murder me in my sleep.

Lee began to pull away almost immediately, nervous and skittish and a little bit afraid, but, something stopped him. Callum’s hand was at the back of Lee’s neck, pulling him back and keeping him in place. Callum’s lips were applying gentle pressure to Lee’s and Lee couldn’t have been more surprised, and very pleasantly surprised at that.

It was a brief, simple kiss, one of those moments that seem to last forever and not nearly long enough, and it sent shivers down Lee’s spine. He found himself wanting more, even as Callum’s lips lifted away from his.

The moment following the kiss was nothing like what you see in movies. It wasn’t quite romantic or full of heartfelt proclamations of love or anything like that. In fact, if anyone had to describe it, it’d probably be considered awkward, at best.

Callum’s expression was one of perplexed bewilderment, and that lost look was back in his eye, as if he didn’t know anything anymore. It was as if his whole world had been turned upside down, which, Lee thought, was probably true judging from what he knew about the older boy.

Lee, on the other hand, probably looked dazed and dreamy and somewhere else entirely. He certainly wasn’t focused on the here and the now anymore, rather basking in the afterglow of whatever just happened.

“I, um,” Callum stammered, “I-I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lee was a little taken aback by Callum’s tone. He’d never seen Callum like this before, so frazzled and worked up. Lee sighed.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. He hadn’t expected Callum to stay after that anyways. Actually, Lee wasn’t quite sure what he expected, but as far as how things could have gone, this, in fact, went rather smoothly.

Callum turned sharply and walked away, a distracted air hovering around him, and it wasn’t until he was out of sight that Lee went back into his apartment again.

The morning after; a term usually applied to when one has some sort of sexual affair with someone else. Though that wasn’t the case here, it might as well have been. It certainly was awkward enough to be. The discomfort was palpable in the air; Lee felt like he could reach out and touch it if he’d wanted to. Perhaps he shouldn’t have kissed Callum, he thought to himself. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Lee efficiently made his way through the pile of work on his desk, as usual, but today, rather than going to find Callum like he usually did when he finished, he decided to work on his new article instead. It was the one he’d been talking about to Callum the day before, and Callum seemed to have thought it was a good idea. Lee was definitely excited about it, mainly for the reason that it gave him something to think about other than the elusive killer.

Callum would need some space, Lee decided. If Callum needed anything, he’d come find Lee on his own.

Lee opened up the document on his computer and read through what he had, making edits where appropriate, and then picking up where he’d left off. His fingers were tapping rapidly against the keyboard, hurriedly trying to write down an idea that had suddenly occurred to him, when he was interrupted.

A soft sound like someone clearing their throat brought Lee’s attention away from his computer screen. He blinked a few times, his eyes burning a little from staring at a screen for so long without movement.

“O-oh!” Lee let out a little exclamation. “Callum! W-what are you doing here? Can I help you with something?”

Callum chewed on his lower lip, his eyes looking at Lee with a gaze so intense that Lee had a hard time meeting it. Callum had this way of being intimidating without even trying; Lee tried not to let it get to him.

“Um, yeah,” Callum said. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He looked like he didn’t know what to do.

“What is it?” Lee prompted after a moment passed and Callum didn’t say anything more.

“Uh,” Callum paused. He stared at his feet and then glanced at Lee and then at the computer screen, and then his eyes went back to his feet. He seemed to be giving this matter some deep thought. He looked up at Lee again, and his voice was strong, but his eyes looked nervous – a first. “We need to talk.”

Lee smiled agreeably and nodded, standing to follow Callum to his office. He did his best to keep calm, but he couldn’t help worrying, just a little. After all, since when did the phrase “we need to talk” ever end in a good outcome?