Kill Me.

Being in a relationship with Callum wasn’t like any other relationship Lee had ever been in. It was so much more tentative and unsure than anything else, and Callum never seemed to know what to do, which Lee found rather endearing.

Some of the time, it was like nothing had changed between them; at work especially, they kept themselves more or less professional – work was a place for business after all, no room for any of that romantic stuff. But after work, Lee would always stop by Callum’s office and sit on his desk and distract him from any work he was trying to get done, and though Callum always grumbled about this, Lee suspected that he actually rather enjoyed it.

Some of the time, they did all that normal couple stuff, going out for dinner and curling up on the couch to watch movies together and whatever else Lee could think of. He was quite the hopeless romantic at heart and loved all that sappy nonsense Callum preferred to avoid. Callum often got all awkward and nervous, and Lee thought it was absolutely adorable.

It was tense, though, sometimes just plain uncomfortable. Callum would periodically get into these moods that Lee couldn’t manage to pull him out of no matter what.

“What’s wrong?” Lee would ask and all he’d get in response was a shrug of a shoulder. Lee would frown and rest his chin on Callum’s shoulder. “You’re lying. Tell me.”

And then Callum would brush Lee off and say, “I’m fine” and that would be that. Lee wanted to know, was Callum having some sort of issue with his family? Did something happen that Lee didn’t know about? Was that what was making Callum act so off? And Lee would sometimes think yes, that must be it, that was a perfect explanation, but then he’d remember that it wasn’t all the time that Callum acted so cold and distant. It was only every once in a while and Callum would show up at work that day looking irritated and unrested and completely worn out.

It was one of those nights. Callum was weary and every little thing was setting him off. Lee didn’t know what to do about it but made hot cocoa for the two of them and curled up to Callum’s side anyways. He didn’t miss the way Callum tensed but pretended not to notice. They watched TV in silence for a while until Lee felt Callum relax just a little, and Lee smiled to himself.

“I keep having this nightmare,” Callum told Lee after maybe ten or fifteen more minutes of quiet, except for it felt more like Callum was thinking to himself than really speaking to Lee. “I can never remember what happens, but I wake up from it and I can’t go back to sleep.”

Lee made a soft noise of sympathy at the back of his throat and wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Callum shook his head. “Don’t say that,” he said. “I hate it when people say that. It’s not like it’s your fault or anything.”

Lee looked up at Callum contemplatively. “Do you want to spend the night?” he offered, not knowing if that would help or if Callum would even accept. It felt right, though. It felt right.

Callum considered it for a moment, looked like he was giving the matter some serious thought. He looked conflicted and then the planes of his face smoothed over again and he nodded once.

“Okay,” he said.

Lee smiled and rested his head on Callum’s shoulder again. It felt kind of nice, being the one person Callum didn’t tell off all the time – or, well, Callum did tell him off quite often, but it was always with a sort of teasing lilt, a playful flicker in his eye, never really serious. It felt kind of nice, being the person Callum came to when the rest of the world pissed him off, which was rather often. It was just really nice.

After a while, watching TV grew boring, and Lee decided that it was time to sleep, because actually, he was really, really tired. It’d been a long day at work and he wanted nothing more than to melt into his mattress and disappear for the next ten hours.

It wasn’t until he was cuddled up to Callum in his bed that may or may not have been the proper size to fit two people that he realized how incredibly happy he’d been recently. He couldn’t remember being this happy with everything in a long time; despite how bubbly he was all the time, he wasn’t always satisfied with his life, but he could honestly say that he was very, very content with things like this.

And then he realized, with a little fear and a rush of excitement, just how quickly he was beginning to fall for Callum. If he didn’t catch himself soon, he’d be at the point where he wouldn’t be able to turn back anymore. Lee wasn’t sure if that bothered him or not, but he was tired and Callum was warm, so he tucked that thought away in the corner of his mind. There would be plenty of time to think about it in the morning.