Kill Me.

“We have to go,” Lee commented and Callum nodded, knowing he was right. In order to meet his mother and sister for dinner across town, they really should have left a little earlier. Callum couldn’t help it though. He really didn’t want to deal with his sister again so soon. At least all her friends were busy, as he had explicitly asked her before making plans. Unfortunately, dinner was still going to be at her house.

“It’ll be fine.” Callum looked down at Lee, who was gripping his hand tightly and grinning. “You’ll see.” He stood up on his toes to press a brief kiss to Callum’s lips and the older man allowed himself to be pulled from the apartment. A part of him wanted to rebel at the way he was permitting Lee to pull him around but he shoved the thought aside, instead just taking another step closer in defiance of himself.

“You’re amazing,” Callum said quietly, surprising even himself. Lee looked up at him in surprise, even pausing on the stair he was on. “Sorry I just… I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” he apologized, blushing.

“I don’t mind,” Lee said with a wide smile, pulling Callum forward so they could continue out to his car while staying directly next to each other. As soon as they hit the last step Lee wrapped his arm around Callum’s waist. The editor couldn’t help his smile as he allowed his boyfriend to tuck his body beneath his arm and be led to the car.

“Carrie’s insane,” Callum warned Lee as he opened the door to his mother’s house. “Absolutely ridiculous and guaranteed to say something stupid. Don’t be offended.” Lee simply shrugged, happy smile still in place as they walked inside.

Never one to disappoint, Carrie looked straight at them both from where she sat on the couch and her mouth opened, rather fishlike, before she spoke. “I thought he’d be… different,” she finished with a raised eyebrow. Callum tensed, about to snap at her until Lee tightened his grip on his hand, short nails nipping at the skin warningly.

“I’m Lee,” he said, unfazed and holding his hand out toward Carrie. “You must be Cal’s sister.” The girl hesitated briefly before shaking his hand and Callum shot her a dark glare when his boyfriend glanced away. She sneered back at him in response but then Callum’s attention was pulled away as Lee’s hand slipped out of his own. When he refocused on the boy he saw that Lee was hugging his mother and smiling.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Lee said, his smile the same one Callum recognized from when he talked to the higher-ups in the office. That bright, happy grin that held a tinge of fear and suspected inadequacy that most people thought was just a sincere smile. He frowned, hating that Lee felt so uncomfortable already.

“You as well dear,” his mother assured him, pulling him back just long enough to kiss his cheek. “Now I’m going to go finish up dinner.” Callum allowed her to hug him briefly before going back to the kitchen. He almost went to go help her before remembering that Lee was with him. There was no way he was leaving the boy alone with Carrie.

“Come sit down!” Carried ordered despite her smile. “I need to get to know the only guy crazy enough to not hate my brother.” Her smile dropped slightly when Lee didn’t join in her laughter, his grip tightening instead on Callum’s hand. He looked up at him, a bit timidly. Callum gave him a smile despite his own irritation and led him to the couch as well. He had meant for Lee to sit next to him- the couch was a rather large piece of furniture that could fit about six people- but he sat on his lap instead.

“So Lee, how’d you two even meet? I mean, he doesn’t really go out much unless he’s with me and my friends, and I’ve never seen you before.” Callum bit back a comment, knowing she knew he was from work.

“We work together. Cal was actually who interviewed me for the job.” She nodded, smiling and Callum sighed. He knew her interrogation was no where near over.

“How are your parents taking it? I mean, they knew you were gay and all right?”

“Yeah,” Lee said firmly, the hand that was resting on Callum’s thigh tightening chidingly when he heard Callum take a breath. “Yeah, they’ve known since high school. They haven’t met Cal yet but I’m sure they’ll love him. I don’t know how they couldn’t.” Callum scoffed at the same time his sister did and Lee glanced between the two in surprise. “What? He’s amazing, and sweet, and polite, and-“

“Do we know the same Callum?” Carried questioned with a laugh and Callum couldn’t even find it in him to feel offended. She was right after all.

“I thought we did. Maybe the reason you never see that side is because you’re too busy being a total bitch to him,” Lee hissed suddenly, tensing and Callum couldn’t help but freeze. He wasn’t even sure what to do until he felt Lee start to stand up. Unused to this side of him, Callum grabbed his boyfriend around the waist, holding him tight. Carrie glared at him before getting up and striding into the kitchen.

“Why’s she so dreadful to you?” Lee asked, looking up at Callum. The older man frowned, not liking the unhappiness in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Did you really just say dreadful?” he asked, teasing him. He felt rather triumphant when Lee blushed, smiling just slightly. “Sibling relationship. We’ve never gotten along well. She doesn’t mean anything by it. I do the same thing to her.” Well, usually he was a bit more censored, he allowed, but he did make some snide comments occasionally.

Ten minutes later Callum saw his mother walked back into the living room with a smile that seemed just slightly more tense than usual. She walked over to the two and sat down, completely unfazed that Lee was sitting on her son’s lap. She simply put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, still smiling.

“I know they’re a handful to be around together,” she told him comfortingly. “You get used to it after a while. It’s nice to see you’re not afraid to defend my son from his own sister though. Call me Dana too dear. Dinner’s ready.”

“Thank you Dana,” Lee said after a moment. Callum leaned forward to kiss the boy’s neck briefly before allowing him to stand and follow his mother into the kitchen.

“Callum dear, come help me with the dishes,” his mother ordered as they all started to filter back to the living room. He hesitated, looking at Lee before nodding. The younger boy gave him a reassuring smile and a small wave. “I know you want to keep him safe but she really isn’t that bad.”

“She told him he looked “different” as soon as we walked in the door Mom,” Callum commented dryly and his mother laughed.

“Don’t worry. They’ll get it all worked out. He’s a sweet kid Callum.” He couldn’t help but agree even as he put some leftovers in the fridge. “A nice looking boy too.”

“He’s beautiful,” Callum said decisively, glancing into the living room. Lee was laughing at whatever Carrie had just said and she seemed to be smiling as well. His dark hair was sticking up rather unintentionally, a blond section hanging in front of his eyes. Callum couldn’t see them but he knew they would be tinged green; they always were when he was happy.

“I’m glad you found him,” Dana said after a moment, smiling at her son and pulling his attention back to her. “I was worried about you finding someone.”

“Mom,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We haven’t even been together that long.”

“You don’t have to be,” she said calmly, beginning to was the dishes. “He looks at you like your dad looked at me, like I looked at him.” Callum couldn’t help but frown when a nostalgic smile formed on his mother’s weathered face. “Time isn’t what matters in love, it’s the honesty of the feeling.”

“Do you regret meeting dad?” Callum asked suddenly and Dana looked at him, surprised. “I mean, after he died you were so hurt. You still are. Do you regret letting yourself be so hurt? Aside from the whole maternal “no I got you two lovely kids from it”, do you ever wish it hadn’t happened?”

“Callum, darling you can never regret love,” she told him with a smile. “Grab a dishtowel and dry these,” she ordered. “Even if he had died before I had even been pregnant, I never would have regretted it. If he had died when we were only 20, I would have been happy to have him the time that I did. I know I’ll never truly love anyone else like that. It’s why I’ve never even dated since he died.
“No matter what happens, I’ll always have part of him. No one, not even death, can take that love from me. I’ll always remember what it felt like to be wrapped in his arms and have him whisper ‘I love you’. I still remember how he smelled; stale books and spices from his mother’s recipes. I’d never trade what we had for anything. How many people can say they were able to be with their true love?”

“How’d you even know you loved him?”

“Callum,” Dana said quietly, smiling. She reached across his shoulders to give him a hug while trying to avoid getting water on him. “You just know. When you’re with someone you can trust with anything, and that you feel like you’d die without but you can’t breath when you see them, its love.”

“I don’t know if I love Lee but I want to. I never thought I’d be with anyone but with him, I can’t imagine not having him.”

“You don’t have to know. Just let yourself feel,” Dana said with a smile.

“Dinner was nice Cal,” Lee told him and Callum smiled in relief. He had been worried that Lee had felt uncomfortable. “Carrie wasn’t even that bad and you’re mom is amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Callum said, reaching out. He hesitated briefly before pulling Lee into a hug. The motion was still foreign but he was learning, wanted to learn. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Callum,” Lee said before grinning. Callum raised an eyebrow, unprepared when Lee pulled him down for a kiss. He winced as their teeth collided briefly before smiling, returning the kiss. “Oops,” he said, giggling. “I love you Callum!”

“I- I’ll see you tomorrow,” Callum said with a small smile. Lee’s never faltered however, even as he went inside his apartment. Callum sighed, running a hand through his hair as he made his way out to his car.