The Perfect Mistake

2009

California had always been a dream of hers, not Los Angeles or rather Hollywood, but San Francisco. Hailey had never had the stars in her eyes, just a longing for the coast and the Pacific Ocean breeze.

She had dreamed of it every night, falling asleep under the San Francisco skyline and waking up to see the famous fog. She wanted to run across the Golden Gate Bridge, stop half way down and look over the side. She wanted to step on a cable car and take it up Nob Hill, live in a house that looked like the Tanner residence. That was what started her dream, the moment she saw the family running around San Francisco she vowed that she would live there one day.

Everybody knew about her dream, especially Erin. The two girls had talked in length about it, moving down to San Francisco when high school ended, going to college and finding jobs at a cute little café. But as they grew up and as Erin’s relationship with Garrett began to get more and more serious, Hailey realized that her dream was always going to be just that.

San Francisco was eleven hours away from Phoenix; there was no way anybody like Erin could make a relationship work with that much distance between them and their boyfriend.

As much as Hailey wanted to do something crazy and throw caution to the wind, she just didn’t want to do it alone. The two girls did everything together, planned out every detail of their lives as a unit. They knew what dresses they would be wearing to each other’s weddings, had practically written the speeches they would be giving as maid of honor. There was no way Hailey was going to move eleven hours away without her best friend by her side.

When it came time to apply to college Erin and Hailey agreed to apply to Arizona State University. It was the closest to home so they had options on living arrangements and they wouldn’t be apart from their families or Garrett. But the moment Hailey had finished her application and went to send it off, she felt like something wasn’t right.

She wanted to go to college, especially if she was going to be going to the same school as her best-friend, and staying close to home was a plus, she could save a ton of money if she cut out living on or off campus. However, the thought of staying in Arizona just didn’t sit well with her. Truthfully the thought made her a little sad, so Hailey did the only thing she knew that would make her happy, she applied to San Francisco State University.

There was no expectation in being accepted at SFSU when she sent off the application; she quickly forgot that she had even applied when the pile of high school homework consumed her every thought and Erin started to plan out everything they would be putting in their humble college digs at ASU.

It was on a Monday that Hailey would be reminded about her choice to throw caution to the wind. It sat there on the counter, the big envelope that seemed a little too thin. Her acceptance letter from ASU had gotten there about a week and a half before so she knew where this was from. As she held the envelope between her thin fingers, she realized that her dream was either about to come true or go down in a ball of flames.

Carefully, she tore at the glued down flap and paused when she got it open. Taking a deep breath she pulled the contents out and quickly scanned the letter.

Dear Ms. Martin,

We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into San Francisco State University.

A whole host of emotions began to run through her, predominately fear and happiness. She could actually go to San Francisco, not just dream about it. But she also knew that she would be going alone, she would be doing something that she had never done. Hailey would be breaking her plans with Erin.

Looking around the empty dorm room Hailey sighed, she had packed all of her possessions neatly in four boxes and two suitcases. The first year that she had done this felt completely different, she felt accomplished. She had finished her freshman year of college at SFSU, gotten through the first year living on her own with barely any tears; she had met so many new people and done so many new things.

Now, the second time she had done all of this she felt a little bit more apprehensive, this time there was a sense of uncertainty and the unknown. Last year she had known that Erin and Garrett weren’t going to be home all summer; there was no reason to worry about running into either of them at Starbucks or the mall. This year though, Hailey had no idea where they were going to be.

It was odd in a sense, having to worry about running into somebody you once loved like a sister knowing that they couldn’t even stand saying your name.

Hailey knew what it was like if you were on Erin’s bad side, the only difference now was that Hailey wasn’t listening to Erin talk shit about someone behind their back. That thought alone terrified her.

The other thing that scared her was how things would be with Garrett, the last time they had seen each other was a mess of slurred curse words and blurry memories capped off with a slamming door and an angry looking roommate.

“Hails?” The familiar voice of her big brother questioned from behind her. “You ready to go?”

She turned to look at him and smiled softly, not realizing how long she had been stuck in thought. “Yeah,” she nodded, grabbing the handle of the last suitcase.

Grabbing the last box, he glanced over at his sister. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she lied easily, stopping to glance back at him before diverting her eyes towards the door.

The question was stupid; he knew that she wasn’t okay. The anxious look on her face mixed with the slow pace of her steps screamed that she wasn’t okay. She wanted to avoid everything, have the summer disappear this year.

Facing Arizona was going to be the hardest thing Hailey had ever done.

&&

2007

Emily Dickinson, Lewis Carroll, Margaret Atwood and Chuck Palahniuk sat neatly stacked at Hailey’s side. The large cardboard cutout of Robert Pattinson posing as Edward Cullen stared at her from the door way in his sultry manner, his arms wrapped gently around his Bella, holding her in the protective way only a sparkling vampire could. Even the smallest book stores couldn’t hide from the sudden wave of the Twilight series, which Erin cursed.

It wasn’t that she didn’t get it, because she got it; it was that sometimes the notion of a vampire falling in love with the most average girl in the world seemed to go against everything she lived. In theory, she should have been fighting off the many versions of Edward that came to sweep her off of her feet when the reality was, things like that just never happened to a seventeen year old girl.

This was a typical Friday night for Hailey at Camelback Books, contemplating the inner workings of a teen romance novel while she sorted through various books just to keep herself busy.

It wasn’t like a tiny book store was the prime hangout for most of the high school kids on their first day of freedom from the school week. The only people who seemed to filter in at this time of night were literature snobs, college hipsters who were too cool for chain stores and the regulars who hung out mostly in the dirty romance novel section.

Once in a while one of Hailey’s friends would pop in, mostly to catch up before they hit a party and to see if she was going to come along. But as always, she denied the subtle invitations, choosing instead to go home and do her homework.

Then there was Erin, who would stop in every Friday at exactly the same time with two coffees and a bag of skittles just before Hailey had to close the store. That was the most enjoyable part of Hailey’s day.

The bell above the door rung quietly, signaling the entrance of a customer. Hailey quickly glanced at the clock before she looked at the door, it was early but there was Erin, a huge smile on her face and nothing in her hands.

“You’re early,” Hailey mused, trying to hide her disappointment with the lack of Friday treats.

“I know, I was at Gary’s all afternoon and I was just on my way home to get ready for that party we’re going to,” she explained, leaning her elbows against the counter.

Hailey felt her lips curl into a half smile, none of this surprised her. Lately Erin had been all about Garrett, not that she hadn’t always been, it just seemed like everything and everyone else was an after thought.

“So when do you get out of here?” Erin questioned, pulling a dusty copy of Mansfield Park towards her.

Turning her eyes towards the clock Hailey sighed. “We close in an hour,” she mumbled, grabbing the pile of books beside her and making her way around the counter.

“I have a brilliant idea,” Erin’s voice called from behind the retreating girl.

Hailey couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she stepped down one of the aisles and began putting the books back. “And what is this brilliant idea?” She called in return.

“You, Gary, Johnoh and I can all ride to this party together.”

“Erin you know I can’t go.”

Scoffing loudly, Hailey could hear Erin close the book deliberately hard. “No, I know you can go but just don’t want to. You need a little excitement in your life Hailey.”

“I have excitement in my life,” she protested, placing the last book on the shelf and making her way back towards the front of the store.

“You work at a bookstore Hailey; you go home every Friday night to do homework. You are the most boring person that I know.”

“Boring can be good,” Hailey shrugged, keeping her head down to avoid the look she knew Erin was giving her.

“Boring is the farthest thing from good.” Reaching across the counter Erin grabbed Hailey’s hand and begun to bat her eyelashes. This was her puppy dog face, it was the most annoying thing Erin did and nobody could say no when she put it on.

“You’re my best-friend,” she continued. “The least you could do is make an effort to come out and have a drink every once in a while.”

Yanking her hand out of Erin’s grasp, Hailey sighed. “Fine, but I’m not driving.”

The smile spread quickly across Erin’s face, waving her hand to dismiss Hailey’s statement. “Of course you aren’t, I convinced John to be DD tonight.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Hails you know that I can be very persuasive.”

If the exchange just moments before hadn’t have happened, Hailey would have agreed anyway. That was the thing about her best-friend; she could convince anybody to do almost anything. Sometimes Hailey wished she had that power, or she wished that she was immune to Erin’s persuasive nature.

She had a sinking feeling that going to this party wasn’t really a good idea, the knot in the pit of her stomach seemed to get tighter and tighter the more she thought about it.

If only she had gone with that gut feeling.