The Perfect Mistake

2009

The faint sound of water trickling stirred Hailey awake. It didn’t take much to disturb her in the grungy motel she had spent half the night trying to fall asleep in.

Cracking one eyes open she sighed heavily, stretching both arms above her head and flexing her toes to loosen her cramped up muscles. She hadn’t moved an inch, still lying in the same position on her back on top of the stiff blanket instead of underneath it, her head resting on the bunched up hoodie instead of a pillow.

“Morning sunshine,” her brother’s voice boomed throughout the room while she was mid stretch.

Hailey grumbled some form of a response, sitting up straight to rub her blurry vision back to its near perfect condition.

“Sleep well?” Adam mused, tugging his faded blue shirt over his head.

Clamping her eyes shut tightly she groaned. “Can you change in the bathroom or something?”

“What are you twelve? I already changed my pants sunshine, and it’s not like you haven’t seen my manly chest before.”

Hailey let a groan slip passed her lips again. Sunshine, it was a nickname given to her by her father when she was a kid that all of her family, and even some friends, latched on to.

Hailey was a painfully shy child, much like she was as a teenager, but the moment she saw somebody she knew it was like a ray of sunshine burst out of the little girl. That fact, coupled with her appropriate middle name of Rae, was why he dubbed her sunshine.

She had avoided the dreaded nickname for twenty four hours, but it seemed like her brother had woken up in good spirits much to her dismay.

Peeking out of her lidded eyes, Hailey ran a hand through her hair and looked at her now dressed brother.

“I doubt this place has a complimentary breakfast buffet or even a decent cup of coffee.”

“When did you start drinking coffee?” Adam questioned with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“And you tell mom and dad that you go to ASU,” she scoffed, throwing her legs over the side of the bed to stand. “Have you even been to a single class in the, what, the three years that you’ve been going there? Have you even experienced a midterm or a fucking final?”

“That right there,” he began, waving his finger up and down the length of her. “Is why I don’t call or visit.”

Rolling her eyes, Hailey dug through the small duffle bag to pull out a change of clothes and her toothbrush.

“Mmhm, and I thank God every single day for it.”

Adam gasped dramatically, clutching at his chest. “You…you don’t even miss me, your own flesh and blood Hailey? The boy who lived right across the hall from you for seventeen years? I’m hurt.”

“You are such a queen sometimes,” she mumbled, brushing passed him to enter the bathroom.

She glanced at herself in the small mirror, making sure not to stare too long. She knew that she looked like hell, much like the bathroom she was in did, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

Turning the tap to let the water run for a minute she spotted her brother out of the corner of her eye, leaning against the doorframe.

“I can’t believe you didn’t even miss me, you haven’t seen me since Christmas. What about mom and dad, do you even miss them?”

“Are you sure you aren’t a girl?” She questioned before she popped her toothbrush in her mouth.

“No, I am just a loving brother,” Adam smirked.

“You’re annoying.”

“Yeah I know, but that doesn’t answer my question,”

Hailey rolled her eyes. “And you’re still a child.”

Adam shot her a look, letting her know that he wasn’t going to stop pressing for an answer.

“Look,” Hailey sighed, rinsing the tooth paste off of the bristles and opting out of putting anymore water into her mouth. “I love mom and dad, and you’re…tolerable, but I hate Arizona. I hate being in Arizona, I hate the weather, I hate how boring it is, I hate how people drive, I ha-”

“Hate that Erin and Garrett are still there and you might have to eventually face them,” he finished.

“You just went from tolerable to most hated,” Hailey responded dryly.

He knew that the Erin and Garrett situation was a tough subject for his sister; she had left Arizona so fast that everyone’s head practically spun with the speed. Every picture of the life long best friends has been stripped from walls and frames, placed only Hailey knew where.

Adam let a long breath flow from passed his lips. “Right, are you okay with driving today?”

Glancing over at him as she smoothed down her unruly hair, Hailey nodded. “That’s fine.”

“I’ll go put our stuff in the car and check us out, or whatever they call it here.”

Watching her brother disappear from the bathroom Hailey sighed. Adam was right, and truthfully she was afraid. She was afraid to face everything that she had left behind, everything she resented, every face, and everything they had all left unsaid.

The more time she spent in that dingy bathroom brought her closer to having to do just that. Six more hours and she would be home. Six more hours and she would have no choice.

&&

2007

It wasn’t that big of a deal. The soft pressure of his lips against the thick shield of her hair could have been all apart of her imagination. Or it simply could have been an accident.

Hailey had been angry enough, her body shaking a bit too hard. It could have simply been his face bumping against her head because of the entire body reaction she had been having.

It wasn’t that big of a deal, so why was Hailey worried about it?

On the one hand she felt like she had betrayed her best friend. Garrett had confided in her, something that he rarely ever did. Sure he asked her for advice, but he never flat out told Hailey when things with Erin weren’t exactly picture perfect. She just felt so guilty, worrying a little too much that it would get back to Erin and she would be angry.

On the other hand, Garrett’s small confession and sudden affection was nothing to stress out about. All of their guy friends had in one way or another hugged Hailey, or even planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek when they were drunk.

She had been thinking about this all weekend, what she was going to do, if she was going to do anything. She had come to the conclusion that she was going to talk to Garrett about it, probably during one of the classes that they had together or when she caught him in the hall between them.

That was the most logical thing to do, in her mind anyway. For some reason, she just couldn’t let what happened go.

Monday was always a day of laziness, everybody had this air about them. They were coming down from the intense high of the weekend, some of them probably still hung over because they insisted that Sunday was, in fact, still the weekend.

It was the day that gossip ruled and school work wasn’t even a thought. Everybody wanted to know who did what, or who did who and exactly where they did it that weekend.

Hailey closed the door of her beat up old Ford with all of the force she could muster up. Pulling the thin yellow cardigan a little tighter against her body, she steadied her large bag against her shoulder. Making a mental note of the homework and books she would need for her first class, she walked inside of the building.

Pushing through the cluster of groups that clogged the hallway, Hailey reached her locker and sighed. She glanced at her watch realizing that she was running a bit later than usual, sending her body into panic mode. She ripped open her locker and shoved all of the unnecessary books inside, keeping what she would need for her first class.

Glancing at her watch again she let out a small, barely audible squeak just as she slammed her locker shut. The sound she had been dreading washed over the entire school, the faint sound of warning music flowed out of the speakers.

She had five minutes to get to class on time, and her first class was located upstairs on the other side of the school. She wasn’t going to make it, even if she ran as fast as she could. Hailey was going to be late, and she was almost never late.

She had been late twice that whole semester, once because she had to accompany her mother to put down one of their cats. Hailey loved animals, but she didn’t particularly like this one. His name was Greg, he had been around for as long as she could remember and he hated her. He constantly hissed at her, bit her and even “left his mark” on some of her favorite toys, which had to be immediately thrown away as a result. The second time was because of an early dentist appointment.

Hailey Martin just simply was never late unless she had a valuable excuse. It was unacceptable and she did everything to avoid it, until today.

When she finally reached class about ten minutes after the late bell rang -she had wanted to make it worth it if she was actually going to be late-, she entered the room with her head hung in shame, apologized to the teacher and sat down in her seat quietly.

“Am I in some kind of alternate universe or something?” She heard him whisper. “Because I swear, you’d mow down the pope before you let yourself be late.”

“I wanted to make it count,” Hailey sighed, tapping her pen lightly against her desk before she glanced at Garrett. “I have to talk to you, by the way,” she added, wanting to cut to the chase.

He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. “‘Bout what?”

“Friday,” she answered quickly, just as the teacher began her lesson.

“What about Friday?”

Hailey felt her nerves tighten up for several different reasons. She kept her eyes glued to the teacher, giving off the allusion that she was paying complete attention. “I’ll talk to you about it after, it’s nothing huge.”

“So if it’s nothing huge just tell me now,” he pressed.

Hailey could feel him leaning closer to her, invading her space once more. She glanced towards him for a brief moment and opened her mouth to say something but was quickly cut off by the sound of somebody clearing their throat.

“Mr. Nickelsen, Ms. Martin, I’m not a big fan of this lesson plan either. If you don’t mind, however, could you carry on your discussion on your own time please?”

Hailey sucked in a breath and nodded her head. “Yes Ma’am,” she forced out, sinking down in her seat and keeping her mouth shut for the rest of the class.

“God I really must be in some kind of alternate universe,” Garrett mused as he secured his backpack on his shoulders, walking casually down the hall next to Hailey. “First you’re late and then you get in shit for talking, are you feeling okay?” Reaching his hand out, he attempted to press it against Hailey’s forehead.

Swatting his hand away, Hailey furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance. “I feel fine; you must be the one with a horrible fever or something.”

“What are you talking about?”

Hailey brought her feet to a stop and looked at Garrett in a serious manner. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about. On Friday you were like, a different person, and even today.”

“I’m still not following.”

Hailey sighed, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. “You like, confided in me and then…hugged me or whatever. Now you just tried to take my temperature.”

Garrett stared at her like she had just sprouted another head for a few seconds before he gave his own head a dramatic shake. “This alternate universe thing has just been completely solidified.”

“Garrett I’m being serious!” She huffed, stomping her foot against the ground like a child having a tantrum.

“Look, we can talk about this later. We’re both going to be late, and I really don’t need to get in shit for being late again. We’ll talk in bio Hails,” he mumbled, reaching to place a hand on her shoulder but stopping himself short and giving her a small wave.

She watched him brush passed her, shoving his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans and disappear down the stairwell.

Biology was the only class that Hailey hated, it was the period right before lunch which had made her want to march down to the office and demand that whoever created her schedule be fired. Nobody in their right mind would think of putting a class like biology right before or right after a lunch period.

Dragging herself towards her lab table, Hailey sat down on the uncomfortable stool and sighed. She was early, which was the brightest spot to her day so far. Garrett’s departure in the hallway earlier had caused her to be late for the second time that day.

Hailey couldn’t imagine how much worse this day could possibly get. She just wanted to get this class over with, finish her talk with Garrett and relax for the short amount of time she had during lunch.

Garrett walked into the room moments later with one of his friends in tow. He took his seat next to Hailey and nodded at her.

“Can we share your text book? I left mine in my locker.”

“Sure,” Hailey nodded, placing the clunky text book between the two of them.

Reaching over, Garrett placed his hand on the book, grazing Hailey’s hand in the process as he turned a few of the pages absently.

It sent a shiver down her spine, a shiver that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with and yet she couldn’t help but want his hand to graze hers again.

“So,” Hailey whispered, keeping her eyes on the fluttering pages of the book and her mind off of his hands. “Can we talk now, or…?”

“Look Hailey,” Garrett said, letting out a deep sigh. “Just forget what I said okay? I was tipsy and not thinking straight.”

She was stunned, probably more than she should have been. “Oh, okay. It was just weird.”

“I shouldn’t have even said anything to you,” his tone suggesting that confiding in her was a mistake. This gave her a little push.

“So you’re okay with Erin then?”

“We’re fine,” he nodded, clenching his fists that were placed on top of the table.

Hailey noticed the signal, choosing to ignore it and continued to press him. “You’re not mad at her anymore?”

“I was never mad at her to begin with,” he said through a now clenched jaw.

She didn’t know what made this whole thing worse, the fact that she was now completely embarrassed for even bringing it up, and felt guilty for pressing him. Or the fact that Erin had once again won.

Erin could shit on anybody, she could treat anybody any way she wanted and she could always, without fail, get away with it. People would beg for her forgiveness even when they had done nothing wrong. Hailey had been guilty of this, and she had a feeling that Garrett was recently guilty of this too.

The bell to signal the end of class rang, bursting through Hailey’s thoughts. She silently followed Garrett and his friend towards the cafeteria like she did every day.

Pushing through the doors she felt somebody rush passed her, practically knocking her down. A mess of arms, legs and a black thong came into view; her shrieking voice rose above everything and made her the rightful center of attention.

If it had been any other day Hailey would have brushed it off, she would have never noticed that Erin had leaped into her boyfriend’s arms before she had said hello to her best friend. If it had been any other day she would have smacked herself for thinking such selfish things.

But for some reason Garrett’s words from Friday night played again in her head. “Or maybe she’s just embarrassed to have you around.”

Hailey was starting to think that maybe Garrett was right.