I Got a Hole Inside and It's 10 Miles Wide

"You okay?" asked Max as he handed me a monster, and some chex mix.
"Yeah just surprised honestly" i said for the hundredth time today.
I was starting to sound like a broken recorded, repeating over and over the same thing.
"Ash, if you need anything call me okay? We are just 20 minutes away"
I looked up at my brother through my eyelashes, his eyes so full of concern.
god this is ripping me apart, Max I want to go home and forget everything
I wanted to say that, but I couldn't do that to him, he loved the band, so i smiled.
"Don't worry Maxie, I'll be fine, promise"
"I'll keep an eye one Craig for you"
"Max, he is mad at me, he doesn't want to see me" i sighed as i laid back against the couch.
"No he isn't he is just mad he couldn't help you like i can"
"You better get going before your manger gets mad"
"Later Sis, love ya" he said as he hopped out of our bedroom.

I sighed and took a gulp from my monster, before going back to reading more about Edward & Bella.
Twilight [or the epic fail book as Jordan like to call it] made me forget about my life, and daydream.
I wanted to be Bella, having my own personal god with me, protecting me, loving me.
She was so lucky having someone never want to let her go unless it had to be.
I sighed, I knew I had someone like that...Max he was like Emmett, tough, but caring.
Jordan was like Alice, though she hated being compared to her.
I wanted someone like Edward, prefect in every way, being a vampire would be a plus too.

I laughed at my stupid mind," Vampires don't exist" I muttered to myself.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, i put down the book staring at the door like it grew legs.
who in world could that be?
I made my way slowly to the door, Sky was at my feet growling and showing her sharp teeth.
"Hello?" I called through the dark wood.
"Ashley would you open up?!" came that very familiar voice that haunted my dreams.
I felt myself hyperventilate as I silent grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed Max's number.
"Um hold on Ronnie, I'm not decent" i said as i locked the door, and backed slowly away.
I heard my brother's voice through the speaker and i jammed the phone to my ear.
"Ashley? Ashley?"
"M..M..Max hurry back to the bus, please please please" i pleaded as i felt wetness fall from my now burning eyes.
"Ashley what's wrong?" he sounded so worried.
"Ronnie's, here Max please come save me I'm scared" i felt myself fall to the ground and curl up into a ball.
The memories of that night flooded back, as Ronnie continued to bang on the door and rattle the doorknob.
"Ashley, stay right where you are, we are almost there" he said, then he cursed.
"Ashley? Stay right there baby, don't move I'm coming" said Craig's amazing soothing voice.
"Craig, hurry I'm scared" i whispered as Ronnie started thudding against the door.
"We just pulled up" he said then the line went dead, I heard the bus door open and a thud.
I hurried to open my door, Sky at my heels. When we both came out of the room, it was empty.
I heard yelling from outside, so i rushed towards the door, where there standing was Ronnie.
He had a bloody nose, and a bruise on his face.
Max what you do! I thought suddenly i looked across from Ronnie and was surprised to see Craig.
He was trying to get at Ronnie, he was held back by Max and Robert, Monte had a hold of Ronnie.
"You bastard, you stay away from her do you hear me?!" yelled Craig as he tried to break free of his band mates.
"I love her, and no one is gonna say i can't see her!" Ronnie yelled back, also struggling against Monte's arms.
I rushed forward and stepped between the both of them, my eyes instantly going to Craig.
I walked over to him, and put my hand on his cheek soothing him, he stared right into my eyes.
"Calm down baby, I'm fine, I'm okay calm down"
Craig took in my words and started to relax, Max and Robert let go of him, and he put his arms around me.
"I was so afraid he was gonna take you away" he whispered in my ear, suddenly it hit me.
Craig was like my own Edward Cullen, he was afraid to loose me, he fought to keep me safe.
And that i was truly deeply in love with Craig Mabbitt.

I turned towards Ronnie,Craig kept his arms around me. "Ronnie, why did you come?"
"I came to see you Ash, I wanna apologize about the things i did to you" he said, shrugging Monte off.
"Your forgiven" I said, looking straight into his eyes, he smiled widely.
"Will you come with me? Will you come back and tour with me and my new band?" he asked softly.
I heard Robert take a huge intake of air and he put his hand on Max's shoulder.
Max was shaking in angry, but didn't dare make a sound or a move.
Craig let his arms loosen up a little, pretty much telling me whatever made me happy.
"Well Ronnie, thank you for the offer but no" i said, feeling pretty damn good about this.
"Why?"
"I'm in love with Craig here and i don't want to be away from him"
then to my amazement he smiled, "Good luck too you two, i hope your happy" he said nicely.
"I am trust me"
"Goodbye Ashley"
"Bye Ronnie"
Then he walked away towards his black Ford F150, and drove off, I turned slowly to look at Craig.
It was the first time either one of us had even heard that word come from one of our mouths.
"I'm sorry" i said quietly, my gaze going down, ashamed at the fact i probable scared him.
He lifted my head with his index finger, "I love you too" I smiled and leaned up to give him a kiss.
"eww gross" came Max's voice as he made gagging sounds, i just flicked him off and enjoyed my new bliss.