Be Somewhere

The hours had disappeared in what seemed like minutes. Their beautiful world faded with the sunlight and bittersweet night brought billions of fireflies and stars. Old pine scented the air and Ricky started to find that an unnatural cold was clinging to his stomach. He wouldn't be spending too many more nights like this; with her. It was the way of life that she would grow up and see him for what he was, and she would hate him.

“What are stars made of?” The question caught Ricky off guard and his tongue was limp and useless for a few moments before he rustled up an answer.

“Fireflies that got stuck up there,” He turned and struggled to contain his laughter at Aggie's scrunched up face. A small smile flickered on his face for a moment, “What do you think?”

“I think god poked holes in the sky so that we could see that there was somewhere else to go.” He smiled at her optimism, “Don't you want to know that there someplace good after we're done here?” Words failed to aid him as the need to comfort her started to overwhelm him. A quiet little four year old; already affected by the tragedies being inflicted.

“I think its time for you to go to bed, it's getting pretty late out.”

She glared at Ricky in protest, but didn't say a word to contradict him. They gathered their things; then headed through the woods, over the fence, and back into the warmth of the kitchen. The clock was ticking and the refrigerator was humming, but no other sounds crept out to greet them.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

Ricky took a quick glance down at the small figure who was clinging to his hip. The darkness didn't faze her, he knew that much for sure. It was the silence that always did her in. She hated being able to hear everything. Especially their parents; she hated being able to hear shallow breaths, screams, or even the occasional bottle hitting the wall.

“Not tonight, honey,” He said as he ruffled her hair a bit. “Maybe some other time.” The pained expression she shot him tore daggers through his heart, but if he stayed with her, she would wake up when he left. A small whimper died before it passed through her lips, making the guilt increase. Savoring the time spent with her, Ricky carried her upstairs and helped her climb into bed. “We just won't tell mom that you didn't brush your teeth.” He winked at her and she giggled.

“It'll be our little secret.” It took all his self control not to break down in tears when she spoke. She mumbled her words, and her slight lisp made his stomach drop. When he was gone, there would be no one left to care for her, and the thought made him almost vomit. “I love you, Ricky.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

Ricky stood beside her and hummed until she finally passed into sleep. When he could stand looking at her peaceful, slumbering form no more, he began t pace the hallway. All he could think about as the seconds ticked by were the few seconds before bed when she had said she loved him. How could he do this to her? Her tiny hand had fit so well in the palm of his own; how could he even consider doing this to her? He didn't quite know how, but he knew that he was.

~-------------------------------------------------------~

“Where is that mother fucker?” Muttered Danny as he waited at the school gates. Brad and him had been standing there patiently for twenty minutes and there wasn't even a speck in the distance. They finally gave up and headed into the class that they were late for. “Where do you think he is?”

“I dunno, he hit his head pretty hard on the sidewalk... maybe he's taking some time off.” Both boys erupted in laughter. Even if Ricky was dying, he would always find a way to make it to the school. They slid into the classroom fifteen minutes late, as usual, and smirked at the teacher when she rolled her eyes.

A note slid into Danny's lap and he glanced up at the person who had passed it to him. Lily watched him out of the corner of her eye; he assumed that it belonged to her.

Where's Ricky? I haven't seen him around very much lately.”

Danny couldn't help at the naivety of the girl. He could barely keep track of himself; keeping track of Ricky would kill him.

Your guess is as good as mine, I haven't seen him either.

Her nose wrinkled in disgust and he chuckled at her expression. She slid him another note and he was about to open it and reply when Brad and his name were called down t the office via intercom. A swear escaped his lips as he shoved back his chair in anger; he hated school administrators. As far as he could tell; they were all assholes.

Brad tossed his chair back with just as much disdain and Danny grinned. This might be fun after all. If Ricky were here this would have been a cause to celebrate. As they walked through the halls, an erie feeling began to seep into the pit of his stomach.

Something wasn't right.

The halls were never this quiet; noise always filtered into the corridors from the classrooms, but everything remained dead silent. Normally, kids were scattered among the the many aisles of lockers... not a single face was seen on their entire two minute walk. Brad started to walk a little closer to his side; and for once Danny didn't push him away. Right then, he needed the comfort just as bad as Brad did. They arrived at the office in record time and held there breath as the principal attempted a sympathetic smile.

“Have either of you spoken to your friend, Mr. Bofante, recently?” They shook their heads and she grimaced. Brad gripped his arm and dug his nails in. “Have there been any recent withdrawals in his social behavior?” Danny blinked away the tears that threatened to fall as he realized what she was trying to ask

“Were they able to save him or not?”

“Mr. Bofante is in the hospital and they're expecting a full recovery.”

“How did he do it this time?”

“I'm not at libe-”

”How the fuck did he do it?”

“My understanding is that he tried many things at once.”

“Son of a bitch.”