Be Somewhere

Smooth jazz started to filter into Ricky's ears as consciousness overwhelmed his senses one by one. First came sound. A slow grating could be heard undermining the music and Ricky was glad for it. The slow music was hurting his ears, as they were still sensitive from being out of use.

“Mr. Bofante, we found some bruises that we couldn't explain. Do you have any idea of how he might have gotten them?” A dumbstruck silence settled in the air around him. Richard wouldn't have a clue about where the bruises had come from. The man had left more than his fair share of scars; but the ones that were scattered all over his body at the moment were the work of his biological father.

“He was in a fight recently,” His mother answered, “Could that have caused them?” Ricky could fell the skepticism from somewhere towards his left. He shifted as the scratchy sheets irritated his skin.

“I don't think so. These bruises were in rather... unconventional places. Not many boys would dare cause the bruises and scarring that this young man has.”

A sense of panic started to swim in his stomach as a thought struck him. When he was admitted to this hell-hole they would have done a full body exam to counteract the measures he had gone through to kill himself. They would have seen everything; the cuts, the bruises, every shred of evidence that he had been fighting to conceal would have been exposed in the harsh fluorescent lights of the emergency room.

“What kind of scarring?” his mother whispered.

“It would appear as though someone sexually assaulted him, and quite recently by the look of it.”

He heard a thud as someone's body collapsed and a chair as it was slammed into the wall. A few indistinguishable sentences were muttered and Ricky strained his ears to catch some fragments. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that it was Danny speaking; trying to contain his anger. Curses mingled with the jazz and blended it to sound like something sinister. Somewhere, a door slammed, and then he was asleep again.

The next time that he awoke the words weren't as important as the actions behind them. One of the doctors was trying to speak with him; but he couldn't understand anything except the word “sedated” and even that came as a slur. A cotton swab and a metal instrument were handed to the man before him and he instantly recognized what they were doing. They were performing a rape exam; an involuntary rape exam.

He started to thrash about as best he could under the circumstances and his mother tried to quiet him. This wasn't happening, they couldn't do this, They had no right. Tears dribbled down his chin as they injected more sedative into his veins. Finally he lost the ability to keep his eyelids open; the last memories of his waking moments were them swabbing his insides and gathering what evidence they could.

~-----------------------------------------~

“You had no right!” He screeched at his mother as she tried to calm him. “Get out!” Her pleading did little to appease him and he continued to shriek, “Nurse! Nurse! Get her out of here! I don't want to see her!” Doctors piled into the room as the door slammed into the wall. Another round of Diazepam was administered to his bloodstream and he screamed bloody murder until they took affect.

”What do you boys know about this?”

“We know nothing until we're allowed to talk to him in private.”

“He's on suicide watch; we can't just let you guys in there alone with him.”

“We'll watch him.”

“If you won't name his rapist then how should I know that you won't let him kill himself?”

“You know nothing... about anything. We're your best shot at filling in the blanks; so you're going to fuck off with that high-horse you rode in on and leave us to talk to him for a little while.”

“Excuse me?”

“Go.”

Once Ricky heard the door slam he opened his groggy eyes and blinked away the confusion as best he could. As soon as he realized who the two people were who were glaring at him, he swore vehemently. Neither one said a word; they just stood and stared at him.

“Come now, you must have been expecting this; its been weeks since I've tried.”

“Forgive us for thinking that might have meant you were getting better,” Danny hissed. An awkward silence fell and Ricky tried to make his breath fill the silence. “You never told us you were raped.” Ricky turned his eyes to the floor and refused to move them. “Your dad?” He remained stationary. “Jesus Christ, Ricky! That night when he took you? It was him, wasn't it?”

“My dad took me to talk to him about maybe getting visitation rights. That's it.”

“Ricky?” Brad asked with less venom, “Can you look at me while you say that?” A small wet stain appeared on the part of the blanket he was looking at. Then another, and another; until it was impossible to tell the individual drops apart. “Ricky?” He raised his eyes from the ever expanding puddle on the bed.

“Nothing happened, you got that? Without my statement they can't prove anything. As far as they need to know, I just snapped.”

“They found the scarring. The recent scarring, Danny replied softly.”

“I got drunk at a party and had sex. End of story.”

“Why don't you want to have him arrested?”

“He loves me.”

The shocked expressions that they wore rivaled most that he had seen. It beat out the look on his mothers face when he was arrested for arson. The time he had tried to drown himself was left in the dust. Everything he had ever done was left behind with one glance at their consternation.

“Ricky, that isn't love. Not the kind you want it to be, anyway,” Brad choked out while biting back tears, “You were the one who taught me that, remember?” The silence was stifling and the weight of the nothingness felt heavy and suffocating. “Remember?” He whispered.

“What happened to me wasn't rape.”

“What was it then?”

“Consensual.”

“That is bullshit, Ricky,” Danny screamed, “and you know it!” Danny threw around a few more curse words before finally settling on the previously used one. “Bullshit.” Ricky glared at them defiantly and crossed his arms over his chest.

“It may have been rape when I was seven, but I'm fourteen now, I could fight him off if I want and I didn't. You know wanna know why?” Danny and Brad nodded. “Because he loves me in a way that you guys just don't want to understand.”

“If I ever understand that kind of love, throw me in the psych ward right the and there,” Danny muttered. Ricky glowered at the two until they shrank a few inches. “I'm sorry, Ricky... that was a bit too much seeing as he 'loves' you and all.”

“You could at least try and make your apology believable.” Someone knocked on the door and Danny glared at Ricky's satisfied smirk. “Will one of you get the door, I would hate to miss one of my injections,” Ricky said; his voice oozing with fake sweetness and insincerity.

“Don't think you've avoided the subject,” Danny replied to the sickly fake smile that Ricky had pasted on his face. When he opened the door he groaned: “We're not quite done with him yet.” The doctor that had granted them private admission apologized and informed them that visiting hours were over.

“Okay, one sec,” Danny sighed. He approached the bed carefully and chuckled when Ricky eyed him warily. Wrapping his around the other teenager, he smiled as Ricky tensed and then slowly relaxed. When he pulled away he gave Ricky a firm smack on the back of his head and giggled when the doctor gasped and Ricky whined. “If you ever try to off yourself again you had better hope you succeed because the way that I kill you will be way more painful than anything you can dream up. Nails in your pores and pins in your eyes will be involved.... and I mean it.”

Brad walked over to him as well and Ricky kept him at arms length; refusing to take the chance of repeating the mistake. Tears started to well in his eyes and Ricky finally permitted the other boy to embrace him.

“Just remember that we love you too; more than he ever could.”