Be Somewhere

Brad was starting to lose count of how many hangover's Ricky had had in the last two weeks. Apparently the filmmakers were bad luck because ever since they came around, Ricky had either been in the hospital or on something. He was genuinely starting to resent their presence.

He resented them even more as they appeared on Danny's doorstep. They smiled widely and shoved a camera in his face and Brad just glared at them for a few moments before slamming the door in their faces. Frenzied knocking ensued after his abrupt dismissal but Brad just grinned and waltzed back into the living room to find Danny staring at him with raised eyebrows.

“Who was at the door?”

“Telemarketers.”

“Brad; telemarketers use the telephone... hence the 'tele' part of their name.”

“Oh. Door-to-door salesmen, then?” Brad said wistfully. Again, Danny raised his eyebrows and watched Brad squirm uncomfortably under his gaze. He heard Lily's shouting from outside and sighed as she started to swear at them. “Now do you see why I didn't want to let her in. She's obviously pms-ing.”

A pillow hit him square in the face and he turned to see Ricky glaring up at him. His eyes were a nasty pinkish colour from how bloodshot they were. Bags sagged his eyes and made him look like he had spread purple eyeshadow underneath his bottom eyelashes.

“Open the fucking door, Brad,” Ricky said through clenched teeth. Brad's eyes widened and he stared at Ricky in disbelief. "I said that I would say it all to them... and you said that you would too. Well, it's story time." His bloodshot eyes revealed nothing but his sincerity and Danny gulped at his resolution.

"If Ricky wants to do this now, then send let them in," Danny replied quietly. Brad gaped at him with widened eyes. It was impossible for him to believe that they would choose today of all days to have this discussion; that they would choose a day when Ricky was extremely hung over and all of their emotional stress levels were this high. Reluctantly, he nodded before leaving to let them in. All protests would have been in vain, anyway.

I a few moments they were all sitting cross legged in Danny's living room. Ricky simply stared at his feet while the others exchanged worried glances. They weren't sure who should start. All of this was Ricky's idea; should he start? Or did they have to go through the other two's storied first to build up to it? Brad sighed before starting to speak.

"I was really little when it started, maybe five or six, so I can't really remember much about the beginning," Brad whispered as he played with his fingers. The others watched him intently and Danny grasped his hand when he remained silent.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked cautiously; not entirely sure that she wanted the answer. Brad nodded quickly but failed to continue speaking. No one said another word to him, they only waited for him to continue speaking.

"I'm not sure quite how to put this, but, my dad started having sex with me..." The air remained absent of replies as they had already learned this earlier. "I remember him saying that it was because he loved me, but I don't remember much else about it when I was younger. What I remember most was how angry Ricky was when I told him; I remember him burning down a church while my father was still in it because he wanted to make his point."

Lily's eyes widened and she turned the camera to face a blank faced Ricky. Nothing could be seen in his eyes; they had turned a frightening shade of black. They weren't a natural ink colour, but rather one that had grown from inside his head. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't see pas the darkness to the thoughts behind them. He raised his gaze to meet hers and all she saw was her own terrified reflection staring back at her.

"That was why you went to boarding school?" She asked in a hushed tone; almost afraid to hear the answer. He nodded solemnly. For the first time since Brad had begun to speak, Ricky's eyes showed a hint of emotion. She tried to think of a question that would draw him out. "Was there other reasons that you went to boarding school?" Once again, he nodded. For an instant she tried to think of something, anything, to say to him, but instead chose to wait for him to speak on his own accord. The silence was a bit more than many of them could bare, so Danny decided to break the silence.

"That's where he met me," Tucker swiveled the camera to face the new speaker. Danny pasted a small smile on his face. "and that's also probably some of the best memories of my life. As an atheist, it's hard to say, but it's true. That Catholic school was some of the most fun I've ever had." He averted his eyes while he whispered the next part. "That was probably because my dad wasn't there."

It was difficult to ignore the flinch that swept through Ricky's body or the hatred and anger that slowly seeped into his eyes. One second it was there, and the next it was gone. There was only one moment where he clearly showed his emotions instead of his mask of apathy. Lily cringed at the intensity of his gaze. She felt as if her entire body were under scrutiny and would combust in a flash if that anger were ever directed towards her.

"I remember how much fun me and Ricky had at the school. In there, we were all misfits, druggies, or creeps. No one ever looked at us weird if we saw something that would make normal people gasp and we laughed. They would more likely than not turn and laugh at it, too. After some time had passed we became, in our own twisted way, popular."

Danny raised his eyes from the floor and looked at their reactions. Morgan had backed away; no doubt wondering what heinous things the boys had laughed at. Lily and Tucker, however, were just staring at him with a bewildered fascination. They weren't frightened or in any way deterred in their motives to research the boys. If anything, they seemed a fair bit more interested in their jobs than when they had began the interview.

"But when we got back, we found that nothing had changed. Alcoholics still drank; pricks still laughed; people still hurt." His voice cracked with emotion on the last word. Brad wrapped his arms around him when his tough exterior cracked and he finally shed some tears. "I-I-I hate that I love my dad. I hate that I miss my mom. she walked out on me when I was two and he started to drink, and then it just all went downhill from there..."

Tucker set down his camera and moved to comfort the boy. Thankfulness stained Brad's eyes as the Danny just kept crying. No one said a word for a long while. The crying said enough for all of them. When someone did speak, it wasn't one of the three that were supposed to.

"You're not alone you guys. Sometimes... sometimes the people who are like you just don't have the same amount of courage as you do," Tucker said slowly as he glanced at Morgan and then down at the floor. "Sometimes we're too scared to admit to other people. and even to ourselves, some of the horrible things that people have done to us."

Ricky watched him for a second before starting to shake. He turned his gaze to the floor and strait, raven hair fell in front of his face. Danny tapped him on the shoulder and he held up his hand to signal that he only required a moment. When he finally raised his head, everyone shifted uncomfortably. Apparently he had been wiping at his face with his arm or sleeve because every bit of make up had now been removed.

"It's my turn, now," he whispered with a twinge of uncertainty. A deep sigh escaped his lips before he pulled off his shirt. Gasps echoed in the room. Not even Danny or Brad had been allowed to see this. "The only way that I can possibly think to explain it is to tell you where every single one of them came from."