Be Somewhere

"Let me get this strait Ricky," Danny groaned, "We're gonna be entertaining miss bitch fit princess for the next two weeks?" He bit his lip and Ricky watched as his eyes lit up. "This is a joke, okay, I get it. Not Funny, just so you know."

Ricky shook his head and tried not to laugh or cry. Danny and Brad's reaction had been funny, and was still funny, but he still regretted saying that she could film him. He had been having a panic attack, something that a simple dose of his medication could have fixed. But now, he had a monumental problem that he couldn't solve if he downed the whole bottle.

"I can't back out you guys... it's more than the video now... its a legacy of sorts for when I'm gone. If you don't want to do it, that's fine. But I want to do it. I'm going to finish what I started." Brad and Danny exchanged glances through the corner of their eyes before turning their attentions back to Ricky.

"Where are you going?" Brad asked cautiously.

"What do you mean?"

"You said that its a legacy for when you're gone... where are you going?"

"I'm... leaving... Its a bit hard to explain right now..." They exchanged worried glances yet again before barraging him with questions on what they could do to make him feel better. He sighed. Whenever he said he was going away they always thought he meant permanently. Most times they were right; but it would be nice to know that that wasn't the first conclusion they jumped to.

"Ricky... don't do it... please? We can make it better. What can we do to make life worth living?" Danny was pleading with him now. Ricky could sense the tears threatening to fall from both of their eyes if he didn't diffuse the situation quickly. There would be enough crying in the future, he didn't need any now.

"We're going to make this video... showing everything. Not just mine... yours too." They looked at him and when his message sunk in, they gasped. They had offered a million and a half times that they would go to the police all together and try to be sent to the same foster home. But this was different, he was going to show it all, and then die somewhere... unacceptable. "The good, the bad, and the ugly. I have to show myself that it isn't all bad."

He knew that that wasn't what he was really trying to do. He was trying to prove to himself that the bad really did outweigh the good and what he was considering wasn't foolish or pointless; even if he knew that it would never work... he had to try god damn it!

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------~

The next morning at school was excruciatingly painful for the outcasts and everyone else. The popular kids wore black to symbolize the mourning that they were in. Lily, Tucker, and Morgan were all abandoning their friends to make a documentary on the freaks. Could anything be as bad as that?

Morgan was a slightly troubled individual. He was friends with Ricky, Danny, and Brad, but never publicly. Publicly he was their tormentor and lived to make their lives hell. Morgan and Danny were neighbors and behind closed doors, were pretty much as close as people could get. It couldn't be helped really, he was in the same situation as Danny and partially the same one as Ricky. Morgan already knew of what was going to be exposed in the video, he just didn't know that it was going to be exposed.

And for reputation's sake; Morgan would have to act surprised... he couldn't be seen with them or else everything would go horribly wrong. For everyone.

Tucker was the new kid at the school. Not very much was known about him, but Ricky knew enough. Ricky knew that he was secretly in foster care; too ashamed to say anything. And he also knew that his dad was a raging alcoholic that had come within inches of killing him.

Being the only city judge's step son, Ricky was privileged to information that others would consider confidential.

Lily was the second in command of the popular girls. Her hair was never out of place and her make up was always perfect. There wasn't a time after grade 6 that she had weighed over 80 pounds, in short; she was the girl you were friends with, but secretly hated with everything you had. Her, Ricky, and Brad had been best friends when they were six, but that was before Ricky and Brad had decided that they preferred the role of demon to saint and had been treated accordingly.

Ricky always thought that she sold her soul more than he ever could have.