Everything Is Just...Blank.

“Joe” I whispered and he ignored me. “Joe.” I said louder and he stopped once we reached the top of the stairs. “Tink.” He said smiling a little. “What’s going on?” I asked and his smile faded. “I’ll tell you in your room.” He said and then turned back around. We made our way down the long maze of a hall. He pointed out whose rooms were who’s but I wasn’t paying any attention. “This is the bathroom, right next to yours.” He said opening up the white door. He let me step in front of him into the room. That’s when it hit me. I felt this deep rush just hit me. I started to feel dizzy and I slapped my hand out to grab Joe’s chest…

….“Kerstin this is ridiculous! How many times did I say it!?!?!” An enraged Mark shouted from the doorway. “More then enough Mark!” I shouted back at him. That’s when he came charging at me. “THEN GET IT THROUGH YOUR TINY MIND. YOU CANNOT, CANNOT, SEE HIM AGAIN!!!” spit covered my face but it didn’t budge from my harsh glare. “He’s my best friend Mark. Get off of me before I call the police, don’t think I won’t.” I said lowly. We stood there, him pinning me against the white wall that was splattered with different paint colors, for what seemed like hours just glaring at each other. I shoved him off of me and moved out from underneath him. “Get out Mark. You’re drunk.” I said pointing to the door. “Don’t tell me what to do. I am NOT DRUNK!” He shouted and just as he was about to come at me again with his fist held high the scene faded out….

“TINK!” Joe shouted and I shot open my eyes breathing heavily. “Oh my god you scared the shit out of me!!” he said feeling my head. I was on my bed and he was sitting next to me. “Joe.” I said getting his attention. “What?” He asked. “I remembered.” I said and he looked at me confused. “I saw, I saw a memory.” I said sitting up. “What’d you see?” He asked moving my legs into his lap so he could sit against the wall my bed was next to. “Mark. He was drunk, and yelling about you I think.” I said and Joe got silent. “Did you see anything else?” He asked quietly. “I think he was gonna hit me, but I faded out before it actually happened.” I said and Joe sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “What’s going on Joe?” I asked for the second time. “I didn’t want to tell you Kers.” He started and then sighed while I waited.

“Okay well, Mark is extremely over protective you. Like he won’t let you do basically anything, and he’s always been telling you I’m a bad influence because I’m three years older and hanging out with you. That night you saw, that was the night he caught you sneaking back in your room after we were outside. We do that a lot by the way, we’ll sneak out and do something, usually go lay somewhere and watch the stars or get ice cream. But he caught you climbing back in your window that night.” Joe finished. “So you two hate each other?” I asked. “I only hate him because he hurts you. He hates me for made up stupid reasons.” Joe said bitterly. “Does anyone know?” I asked quietly. “No, just me. But you won’t tell anyone because he’s your big brother, and he always drunk when he does it.” Joe said and I instantly felt a pain in my heart. One that felt so familiar but so foreign. A pain for my secret that I’ve been keeping since apparently forever.

“Kerstin, Joe, wake up kids.” I crept an eye open and saw my mother standing there in a suit with a black berry in her hand. “Hi Mrs. Hillman.” Joe said yawning. I groaned. My head was pounding. “Here you go hun.” My mom said handing me pills and a glass of water she seemed to have gotten out of no where. “Thanks” I said taking them gratefully. “Mrs. Hillman it’s dark out, why are we up?” Joe complained quietly. “Well I have to leave for work and your father is already back on the road, he had a shipment he couldn’t say no to. You know how your father is. But I’m leaving, and Joe I don’t know how I feel about you being here when I’m not.” Joe laughed quietly and just pulled the covers back up over the two of us. My jaw hung open slightly.

“Mrs. Hillman you worry to much.” He said with his eyes closed. She sighed and I felt her sit down on the bed. Joe pulled the covers back down so he could see, I on the other hand couldn’t at all still. “Fine, we both knew I’d lose. I always do. I don’t know why I bother anymore. Mark and Jake are leaving today back for school, their mid terms are this week. Josh is just probably going to sleep until God knows when. Joe I’m trusting you to keep her safe” I heard my mom say and I tried to keep my giggle quiet as Joe started to tickle me with his left hand. “You have my word Mrs. Hillman, I’ll keep her safe.” He said and my mom pulled down the covers and I looked up at her. “Be good, don’t go jumping out of anymore trees. Love you, I’ll be back around dinner.” She kissed my head and I smiled at her and watched as she kissed Joe’s head and then walked out of my room with one last, “Don’t do anything, I’m trusting you two!” and finger wag before closing my door.

The darkness flooded my room again. I sighed and Joe laughed. “What?” I asked. “Nice dramatic sigh Kers.” “Can you blame me? She just said I love you, and I don’t lover her, or at least I don’t remember loving her.” I said and he sighed this time. “You did, very much. You still do.” He said throwing an arm across my face. “Peter!” I shouted and he laughed. “This is how I sleep Tink, I’m sorry.” “Move your arm!” I hissed at him. “This is how I sleep!” He said back wiggling his arm a little. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I heard my mom pull away from my house and away down the road. I don’t know if Joe thought I actually had fallen asleep or not but he moved his arm and rolled over to face me. “Good night Tink.” And then he kissed my fore head and I snuggled in closer to him.