Everything Is Just...Blank.

“This is so embarrassing!” I shouted laughing. “I know, it’s bad.” Nick said laughing along with the rest of the room. Joe and I had invited everyone over for the day and we some how ended up watching our poor production of Peter Pan. “Joe who was Wendy?” I asked. “Cindy Shepard. My first kiss.” He said proud. Aws broke out across the room and I laughed quietly but slowly stopped when I realized something; I don’t know who my first kiss was.

I sat back and watched my second grader self recite the lines I had memorized. I knew more about my life at seven years old then I’ll ever know now. A tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly whipped it away and hopped no one saw it. “Kerstin want a drink?” Josh asked. “Um yea…whatever I like.” I said and he nodded. “Joshua you better get her a grape soda or I’ll kick your ass!” Joe shouted after my little brother. “Like I was going to get her anything else!” He shouted back and everyone laughed. I looked around confused. “Kers, don’t ever trust your little brother.” Selena said to me and I laughed.

A few hours passed and we all were sitting around going over our script. Me for the first time. We were filming Camp Rock 2 which was going to be a Romeo Juliet type thing. It was between Nick and me. I was the head girl of the rival camp, Camp Star. Nick’s character, Nate, and my character, Julie, would fall in love but be pulled apart by our friends and camp members during our talent competition between the two camps. It was complicated. The scene we were reading was between Nick and I, I had just overheard the wrong part of a conversation between Nick and Joe and thought he was getting tired of me.

So we were fighting.

Nick: Julie I’ve been trying to tell you that I’ve been in love with you since day one!
Kerstin: Sure, of course you have. You know what Nate why don’t you just go back to YOUR camp and YOUR brothers and YOUR friends. We both know it’s for the best, I was getting tired of the sneaking around to.
Nick: Wait Julie, what are you saying? That we’re over?
Kerstin: No, we can’t be over because we never even really started. We only existed to us, so let’s just pretend this never happened. We never met.
Nick: Fine if you’re going to be that stubborn then fine. I never met you Julie Reynolds. And I’m glad.
Kerstin: Good. Now get out Nate.

END SCENE.

“Whoa that was amazing!!! Kers you still got it!!” Joe shouted side hugging me. “Yea wow that was like touching.” Demi said with wide eyes causing me to laugh and she started laughing. “I think she’s even better now.” Selena said and I elbowed her. “Yea, it was good.” Nick said closing his script. Everyone followed suit and Josh clicked on the TV. “Let’s watch a movie!” Selena said and Demi instantly agreed….along with Josh.

Even if I don’t remember anything I can so tell Josh is in love with Demi.

“I’m gonna go get a drink, anyone want anything?” Nick asked and everyone shouted their different food and drink orders at him and he opened his mouth to protest. “I’ll help.” I said and he nodded and headed into the kitchen with me following. He held open the swinging door for me and I smiled at him but he didn’t respond. He started to get all the different food and drink orders out of the fridge while I started in the pantry. Even if I’ve known Nick for just a few days, well I’ve known him for way longer but I only remember him for a few days, I knew things were awkward between us. Way to awkward. I needed to do something…anything to get him to laugh and talk with me.

“So Nick.” I said casually trying to strike up a conversation. No response. I shut the pantry after I found the chips and walked over to the counter. “So Nick.” I said again and he sighed and looked my way. “So Kerstin.” He stated then went back to the fridge. What was he looking for in there!? I swear there has to be an endless black hole in there that he’s just looking into. “So Selena told me you two are dating?” I asked popping open a grape soda, Joe was right. I love this stuff. “Uh yea.” He said finally closing the door. “That’s cute, how long?” I asked. “Um a few months now.” He said trying to pick up the most he can to carry into the other room. I rolled my eyes, what was his deal!?

“So I know we’ve known each other for an extremely long time and all but Nick do you like hate my guts?” I bluntly asked slightly annoyed. He stopped immediately what he was doing and dropped everything on the table and looked at me. “Do you honestly not remember ANYTHING!?” He started calmly but broke out in a yell at the end. I jumped back, I wasn’t expecting him to yell, honestly I was expecting him to walk out with a nod or something. “Whoa chill Nick. I was just asking because it seems like you do!” I said keeping my voice at a reasonable volume but making sure it dripped with annoyance. I watched as his nostrils flared and his head shook back and forth. “Kers you don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He said in a low harsh tone. I’ll admit I was afraid, but there was no way I’d back down or show him that. Maybe I used to but not anymore. “You know what Nick you’re right. I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE!!! I’M SORRY I’M TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU!” I shouted loosing the calmness I had going. The kitchen door swung open to reveal a pissed looking Joe.

“What did you say to her?!” He asked shoving Nick out of the way and coming to comfort me. “I didn’t say anything Joe calm down. She’s not a freaking glass doll you have to protect.” Nick said angrily. “Nick.” He said harshly and I shook my head. “No it’s fine Joe. He’s right. We all found that out when he didn’t catch me. I didn’t break into a million pieces so I must not be glass. Right Nick?” I asked filled with venom. Once I saw the hurt and regret fill his eyes I instantly wished I’d taken it back. I didn’t mean it. I know he didn’t do it on purpose, it was just an accident.

“Kers, I didn’t me-“ Nick started but I just walked out and up to my room. Now I understand why we always fought. He’s brainless. Rude. Annoying. Stupid. Many other synonyms come to mind but I won’t waste your time reading it.

Once I reached my room I screamed while slamming the door. Overdramatic? I’ve realized. Do I care? Hell no.

A light knock came a few seconds later and I was sitting on the edge of my bed deep breathing when the door opened. “Tink?” Joe asked poking his head in. “Yes?” I asked. “Tink he didn’t mean it. Nick can get angry when something’s on his mind.” He explained sitting beside me. “I don’t care. That was ridiculous! He’s so ugh! He’s so annoying!! No wonder why we always freaking fight. He’s so rude. And Obnoxious.” I said clearly still upset. “I know. He’s stupid.” Joe added and I nodded in agreement. We sat there for a few moments. “Have we always been like this?” I asked him. “Um no not always. But for a long time.” He said. “What happened?” I asked and Joe looked down at me then back up. “Uh I’m not sure actually. One day it just happened.” He said and I sighed. “Joe I’m trying.” I said quietly and he looked at me quizicaly. “I really am. I mean it’s only like what my fifth day!? I’m trying. But I just can’t remember everything.” I said and he grabbed me up in a huge hug. “Tink, you take as long as it needs. I’m always going to be here for you.” He said into my ear and I smiled. “thank you Peter.” I said and he laughed gently. Then came a knock. “That’s probably Nick coming to apologize.” He said. He stood up and I sighed not wanting to be mature just yet and forgive Nick. The door was opened and I heard only light mumbling since I was lost in my own thoughts.