Everything Is Just...Blank.

“Kerstin, I’m sorry. It’s just frustrating.” Nick said and I looked up to see him standing across the way. “Frustrating for you Nick? What about me!? I almost died this morning because I was about to eat a raspberry.” “Your allergic to raspberries.” He said. “Yea, well I didn’t remember that, and this morning when my mom said she loved me…I didn’t know how to respond. Because honestly I didn’t know if I loved her not.” “You do. So much Kers.” “Joe told me.” I said and I saw the anger in his face only for a moment then it faded. Leaving me to wonder, did something happen with the three of us?

“With out Joe I would be a mess.” I said testing him. The anger surfaced again and I knew my relationship with Joe was a touchy subject. “Well let’s be glad for Joe.” He said while exhaling. I narrowed my eyes at him and he didn’t even notice, he was staring at the wall behind me. That’s when I got dizzy again. My hand went to my head and I stupidly gripped the soar part with the bulge. I wailed out in pain and I started to fall forward, off the bed. “Kers?”

“Of course.” I said giggling. “Liar!” Was shouted at me with a mocking tone causing me to break into hysterical laughter. Soon Nick was tickling me and we were wrestling on the ground and laughing at each other’s weak points. He had me pinned on the ground and straddling me. “Nick!!” I whined out pretending he was crushing me. Though we both knew he wasn’t. He didn’t have his weight on me. “Babe!” He shouted back in the same tone mocking me. I laughed as I complained on and on about how he was crushing me. “Get off of me!” I shouted and he put on his thinking face. “It’ll cost ya” He said taunting me. “What?!” I said desperate to get him off. “A kiss.” He said and I laughed while shouting “FINE!” He smiled and leaned down and that’s when we kissed. Then I started to fade out.

“Kerstin?” Nick’s voice came into my mind. I opened my eyes and looked up. I was on the bed. He was sitting above me, looking down. “You kissed me.” I said bluntly and his eyes shot open. “What?” He said. “No I didn’t.” He said right after shaking his head no. “Not now, then.” I said sitting up and he just starred at me confused. “Kerstin you’re not making any sense.” He said shaking his head. “No Nick I remembered. We were goofing around wrestling. You called me babe then kissed me.” I said to him. He starred at me. “You remember that?” He asked. I saw the shock in his eyes.

“I just saw it.” I said quietly. He sat down and just starred at the carpet. “Nick, were we….” I started hesitantly. “Yea. For a very long time.” He said knowing exactly what I was thinking. “Exactly how long?” I asked. “Basically from second grade until last year.” He said and my jaw dropped. He didn’t notice though because he still wasn’t looking at me. “Well we were on a break for maybe like a year when we were thirteen.” He said. “That’s when I dated Miley.”

I still was just sitting there wide-eyed. Shocked.

“Then again when were fifteen….Miley again.” He explained. “And now, Selena??” I asked speaking for the first time. He nodded his head. I laughed and he looked over at me like I had twelve heads. “Sorry it’s just that was HUGE.” I said and he nodded. “Well you usually don’t laugh about it Kers.” He said seriously. “Why not?” I asked. He obviously didn’t want to say it whatever it was. “Nick. Please.” “Um I don’t know why.” He said to me and I nodded. “Oh. Well sorry. I probably just over reacted.” I said being honest. He looked at me and smiled a very small smile. It was minuscule but I’ll take it. I smiled back and hugged him. He tensed up at first and then wrapped his arms around me and gave into the hug.

“So you were my first kiss then right?” I asked Nick. He laughed and I smiled. “I’m serious Nick! I wanna know!” I said and he stopped laughing and shook his head. “No I wasn’t.” Disappointment dropped over me. Not because it wasn’t Nick but because I’ll have no idea who the boy is.

“Wanna know the story?” He asked noticing the disappointment. “You know it?” I asked him. “Yea. Kind of when we first started dating actually.” He said and I looked at him funny, “I thought you said it wasn’t you?” I asked.

“It wasn’t. We were in sixth grade at a school dance. We had been fighting over if you liked Jimmy Kerrel or not. I still say you did but we won’t get into that. Just as we were walking in you told me to leave you alone, that you could date anyone you’d like. Me being immature told you that you couldn’t get a boy to kiss you by the end of the night. Well I was wrong. I looked at the right time and saw you kissing Jimmy Kerrel in the center of the dance floor where everyone used to kiss so they wouldn’t get caught.” I started laughing here and he gave me a look saying to stop and I did. “It gets better- I got so jealous and angry that I actually stormed up to the two of you, ripped him off of you and just punched him.” “You did not!” I gasped and he laughed. “Yea I did. That’s how we got thrown out of the dance. Me for punching Jimmy, you and Jimmy for kissing.” “Wow.” I said with a smile just picturing the scene in my mind. “Yea well after that we admitted we were nuts about each other. And well we were together ever since.” He finished and I smiled at him. “Thank you.” “for what?” He asked laughing slightly. “For punching Jimmy Kerrel. If you didn’t we never would have happened probably.” I explained.

“Well I’m sorry you can’t remember our memories on your own. There are some great ones.” He said standing up from the bed. I sighed. “Yea, everything’s just blank in here.” I said pointing to my mind.