Happy.

A couple of weeks passed and Alex and I were practically inseparable. I found out on our first date, that he was a musician. He was in a band with his best friends, and they were trying to get signed. He told me that was why he was at the restaurant where I met him; he was in a meeting with a record label who is considering signing them. I could tell how excited he was due to the constant smile that was on his face whenever he talked about his band or his music.

It had taken a while, but eventually I had convinced him to play a song for me. He was quite shy when he had to do it on his own, without his band there supporting him. He had played a song, keeping his eyes lowered the whole time. Once he had finished, however, I gently lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. That had been our first 'proper' kiss. I don’t think either of us counted the kiss we'd shared in the restaurant, even though both of us greatly enjoyed it. Alex had pulled back and smiled. "So, you liked it?" he asked and I grinned.
"Liked it? I loved it!" I said and Alex smiled. "You have an amazing voice." Alex smiled and lowered his eyes. "Play something else?" I asked him softly, not wanting to force him to do something he was uncomfortable with. But he just smiled and started strumming a new tune. I gazed at him as he played, his voice running through me, filling me.

About a month after we met, Alex introduced me to his band. He had put it off before because he wasn't sure how they'd react to meeting his boyfriend. Yes, he said boyfriend. I had been unable to hide my reaction to the word, and Alex had mistaken my excitement for anxiety, and had immediately tried to reassure me that if I didn't want it, we didn't have to be yet. However, I had just kissed him and said, "I would love to be your boyfriend." Alex had grinned and kissed me again.

So I met Jack, Rian and Zack. They were all really great guys. It was clear they all cared about Alex a lot, as they were basically how I would expect protective older brothers to be. But once I'd spent a few minutes with them, they all chilled out and relaxed with me, treating me like Alex's boyfriend instead of some pervert who they had to save Alex from. "They like you," Alex told me as we left the house.
"Really?" I asked hesitantly. "It seemed like they wanted to kill me..." Alex giggled, yes giggled, making me smile.
"They weren't that bad, they could have been worse," he said and I nodded in agreement.
"True," I smiled. "Do you wanna go get coffee?"
"It's too hot for coffee," Alex whined and I couldn’t help the smile that lifted the corners of my lips. He was just so cute.
"Ice cream?" I asked him instead and he stopped walking and seemed to be thinking about it.
"Is it hot enough for ice cream?" he asked me and I grinned as I rolled my eyes.
"Well, what do you want?" I asked him and he smiled.
"Ice cream," he said and I sighed and shook my head. I took his hand in mine. I didn't understand him sometimes, but that just made him all the more attractive to me. I wanted to get to understand him. I wanted to be able to predict his reactions, to learn his habits. With Alex, though, that probably won't be easy...simply because he is just so random.
"So weird," I muttered but Alex heard me and stuck his tongue out at me. I just shrugged as we continued walking towards the ice cream parlour. "I'm buying, what do you want?" I asked Alex who smiled at me, before turning to the man waiting for Alex's order.
"Vanilla please," he said.
"Same," I said and he nodded and went away to get them.

A few minutes later, we were sat on a bench at a small park, slowly eating the ice-cream. It wasn't melting quickly, so we managed to talk in between. We didn't really talk about anything in specific. Just about our pasts, our childhoods.

The next few weeks passed blissfully – there really isn’t another word to describe it. With Alex, I had never been happier. He was the most perfect boyfriend, better than I could ask for, better than I could imagined anyone ever being. One Saturday night, about 2 months after we first met, Alex took me out to dinner. He wouldn’t tell me the occasion until we got there, however, and I was dying to know what was going on. "We've got a meeting on Monday," Alex said as we ate our meal.
"Oh?" I asked, needing more information.
"Yeah, with the manager of a record label. He wants to hear us play, and then he might actually sign us!" I couldn’t help but grin along with Alex.
"Oh, my god! That's so exciting!" I grinned. "Wait, that's why we're here? Shouldn't you be celebrating with the guys?" Alex just shrugged.
"I'll celebrate with them later," he said. "I just wanted to be with you for now." I couldn’t help but smile tenderly at him. I couldn’t believe how fast I'd fallen for Alex. It was really insane to say I was in love with him, I mean it had only been a few months. And yet...I was in love with him.
"Okay, but seeing as we're celebrating you, I'm paying," I said and Alex opened his mouth to object but I cut him off. "Nope, no arguments. You shouldn’t have to pay when you're the one who is special tonight." I saw Alex's face soften and I smiled gently at him.

After finishing eating, and after I'd paid, Alex drove me home and I managed to convince him to come in with me for a while. He didn't really take much convincing. That night, celebrating the hope of Alex, and his band's, future, Alex and I made love for the first time. I had had sex before, but there was just something about Alex. There was something more that heightened the experience even more. It may be cheesy, but between Alex and I...it just felt special. Like we fit together perfectly.

The next morning, I woke up still wrapped in Alex's arms. I smiled and sighed contently, before closing my eyes and drifting back to sleep again. When I next opened my eyes, it was to see Alex tenderly pressing his lips against mine. I smiled into the kiss and kissed back. "Morning," he smiled and I smiled back.
"Morning," I said softly. The smile on my lips never seemed to weaken. Alex tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer to his warm body. I was thinking about his meeting tomorrow, and he must have been as well.
"I guess I should go so we can all get ready," he said and I nodded sadly. I didn't want him to go yet, I didn't want him to go ever, but I knew he had to. He had a duty to his band.
"Okay," I whispered and Alex leant down and kissed me softly before pulling away. I sat up, watching him move round the room, collecting his clothes that had been scattered across the room from the night before. He blushed slightly when he realised I was watching him. I just smiled at him. "You can have a shower if you want," I said, indicating the door to the bathroom.
"Thanks," he said and moved into the room, closing the door behind him, but not locking it. I smiled, thinking how incredible it would be if I went and joined him, but I didn't want to pull him away from his band anymore than I already was.

Instead, I got up and pulled on a pair of sweats before going into the kitchen. I started making two cups of coffee, when I heard Alex walk into the room. I smiled softly but didn't turn. He wrapped his still damp arms around my waist and I realised that he was only wearing a towel around his waist, his wet torso was pressed against my bare back. I closed my eyes, trying not to shiver. "I was waiting for you, baby," he whispered in my ear and I bit my lip.
"I...I didn't want to make you any later," I whispered, my voice catching.
"I wouldn't have minded," Alex said, kissing my neck with hot, open mouthed kisses.
"The guys would have," I gasped, leaning further against him.
"They would have got over it," he said and I had no reply. I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder and he smiled and kissed me passionately. I turned properly to face him and pressed against him tighter. I ran my fingers through his wet hair, gripping it and pulling him to me. Eventually, we broke apart, both of us breathing heavily, and I looked up at Alex.
"I...guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, unsure when I would next see him. If he did get signed, he'd want to celebrate with his band, wouldn’t he?
"Definitely," he smiled. "I'll call you the second the meeting finishes." I smiled at him and stretched up and kissed him.
"Go get dressed," I told him and he smiled before turning and going to the bedroom. I smiled as I leant against the counter, thinking about Alex. How could someone so incredible be with me? I must have done something good in a past life, to deserve to have Alex now.

The next day, I was thinking about Alex the second I woke up. I desperately wanted everything to go well for him. I was thinking about him the whole day, praying that he would phone and tell me some good news. It got to 6 p.m. and he still hadn’t phoned and I was starting to worry. What if they hadn’t been signed? Or what if they had but Alex had gone out with the guys? I mean, I wouldn’t have minded, I would have just preferred it if he had told me. And I didn't want to phone him in case he didn't want to talk to me yet. I sat in my living room, the television on but being ignored as I stared at my phone.

At 7.30 it rang and my heart skipped a beat. "Alex?" I answered immediately.
"Yeah, hey, Luke," he said and I could sense something was wrong. Oh, God. They didn't get it...
"What happened?" I asked quietly, unsure if he would want to talk about it.
"We got signed," he said and I gasped quietly.
"You did!?" I cried happily. "Oh, my God, Alex! That's incredible! Congratulations!" I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.
"Thanks," he murmured.
"What's wrong? You don’t sound too happy," I said, frowning. I didn't understand why the only emotion in his voice was...despair.
"No, I am happy," he said, and I could hear him trying to cover up his voice. I could tell that he didn't want to talk about it, so I decided not to press the matter.
"So, are you going out to celebrate?" I asked him, a smile still etched on my lips despite his obvious sadness.
"Yeah, me and the guys are all going out," he said and I nodded, realising that I wasn't going to be seeing him today.
"Okay, well, have fun," I smiled. "Well done, Alex. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks," he said quietly. I frowned but didn't say anything. "I'll...I'll speak to you tomorrow."
"Yeah, bye," I said, my voice almost a whisper as it dawned on me, just how upset he sounded. But before I could say anything, he'd hung up.

I sat, confused, on the sofa, the noise of the television in the background. I didn't understand why he wouldn’t talk to me. I turned the tv off in a daze and then went to my room. I grabbed my phone and called Vicky, just needing to talk to someone. "Hello?" she asked and I smiled hearing her familiar voice.
"Hey, it's me," I said.
"Luke? What's wrong?" she asked immediately.
"How did you know something was wrong?" I asked, unable to help the small laugh in my voice.
"Please..." she said and I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "So what's wrong?" I sighed and then told her about the conversation I'd had with Alex. "Maybe he's just a bit in shock. Maybe he's scared about the future?" she said once I'd finished.
"Yeah, maybe," I sighed. "But...he was going out."
"Maybe his friends dragged him..." she suggested and I nodded.
"Yeah..." I could shake the feeling that there was something else, though. "Do you guys wanna come over tomorrow? We can have a movie day."
"Yeah, sure," Vicky smiled, but I knew she was aware of me purposefully changing the topic. "And don't worry about Alex, sweetie. He's crazy about you."
"Okay, thanks, Vicky," I smiled.
"Anytime," she smiled and then we both hung up. I lay in bed for a while, thinking, and eventually found myself falling asleep.

The next morning, I woke up to voices. "Should we wake him up?" I heard.
"No, let him sleep," another voice replied.
"I'm awake," I muttered, sitting up slowly and rubbing my eyes.
"Luke, it's 11.30," Vicky said and I was reasonably shocked. I didn't usually stay in bed that late. I looked up at her and saw Dan next to her.
"Oh, sorry," I said. "Go select some movies; I'll be in, in a second." Vicky nodded and both she and Dan left, shutting the door behind them. I sighed before climbing out of bed. I quickly pulled on a pair of sweats, a plain black tee and a black hoodie. I then went into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee, before going into the living room.
"You okay, Luke?" Vicky asked me as I sat down in an armchair.
"Yeah," I smiled and nodded as I inhaled the smell of the coffee. I sighed deeply and then turned to the T.V. "What are we watching?" I asked them.
"Jumper," Dan said and I smiled. I loved the main actor in this movie. I settled down to watch it, getting comfy in the chair as Vicky and Dan cuddled on the sofa.

About half way through my doorbell rang. I sighed, standing up. Vicky reached to pause it, but I stopped her. "It's okay, keep watching, I'll be right back," I said, walking to the door. I opened it and felt my heart skip when I saw Alex standing there, a hesitant smile on his lips. I beamed when I saw him. "Hey," I smiled.
"Hey," he said softly, hesitantly.
"Come in," I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.
"Luke, I-" he started.
"We're watching a movie, come sit with me," I said, pulling him into the living room.
"We?" he asked before he saw Vicky and Dan. "Oh...hey, Vicky, hey, Dan."
"Hey, Alex," Vicky smiled, looking at him carefully. Dan just nodded a greeting, keeping his eyes on the television screen.
"Luke, I...I really need to talk to you," he said and I turned to him and saw just how desperate he was. I nodded, frowning with concern. Maybe something had gone wrong with the meeting yesterday?

I took Alex's hand and we went back into the hall. I saw Alex glance back into the living room, at where Vicky and Dan were. "Alex, what is it?" I asked. He lowered his head and I brought my hand up and cupped his jaw softly. I lifted his head slowly and then he suddenly pulled out of my grasp.
"I'm sorry, Luke," he said softly. "I-I can't do this." My heart skipped a beat as fear slammed into me.
"Do...Do what?" I asked, fearing that he would say what I least wanted to hear.
"This," he said, motioning with his hand towards me and himself. "Us." I felt my heart practically shatter, but I wasn't going to let him see how much he'd hurt me.
"W-What? W-Why?" I asked. I thought things had been so perfect between us. I was truly in love with Alex.
"It's just...it's not working for me anymore," he said and I tried hard to contain my gasp. "Bye, Luke." And with that, Alex Gaskarth turned and walked out of my apartment. And out of my life.