You & I Collide

Rachel

I wrestled with my thoughts for the rest of the week, frightened and confused by them. Why should I have even the notion of having feelings for Emmett? What—other than a friend—was he to me? I belonged to Paul…but could my reckless heart change that? Could I shatter everything that we had built between us? It was all very stupid…and it consumed my thoughts. Often, I zoned out, until someone snapped me out of a reverie and brought me back to reality.

The next day, on Wednesday, at breakfast, I was absentmindedly picking apart a piece of toast, totally absorbed in my thoughts, when Jacob suddenly shouted my name and I jumped.

“Gosh, Rach, what is with you? Most of the time, lately, it’s like you’re not even here anymore.”

His voice was hard—not the warm, Jacob-tone that I loved so much about my brother. I sighed.

“Sorry, Jake. I’ve just been…worried.” Now, technically, that wasn’t a lie, because I was worried. This whole Emmett-thing was dangerous for me to be thinking about. I was indeed worried that I might start following the direction my treacherous thoughts were heading.

Jacob looked at me with concern in his expression. “About what?”

I took a deep breath, but it got stuck in my throat, so my voice came out in a mangled whisper. “The vampire.” I still wasn’t lying—having a vampire anywhere near me was always a source of worry. I was still being honest with him…mostly.

“Is that what you’ve been zoning out to all this time?”

“Yeah.” Okay, now that was a lie.

Jacob leaned forward in the rickety old chair at the tiny kitchen table to stare deep into my eyes.

“We’re going to take care of this. We’ve done it before, Rachel. We can easily do it again.”

I shuddered—he was right, and I didn’t want to think about why, but I could never seem to control my thoughts…especially lately. So, if I was going to think about Emmett…why not think about some sadistic vampires, too? Last spring, and then in the early summer, when there had only been one pack, Jake and everybody else had taken down Laurent, and then helped the Cullens handle…Victoria. The name gave me the chills, even if it was only in my head.

“Right,” I muttered, sensing my defeat.

Jacob let it drop, not really knowing what to say, and then he perked right up back to his normal, cheery self.

“Hey—the packs are heading down to the beach tonight for some kind of swimming and bonfire thing. We all need a break; none of us are getting much sleep or time to relax. Sam suggested that we take one evening to ourselves. Maybe you could come, too? Emily will be there, and Kim, and maybe even Claire, although it might be kind of late for her.”

Claire was the little two-year-old (now three-year-old) that Quil had imprinted on.

I thought about that for a minute. Maybe a romantic evening with Paul was just what I needed to distract my mind from the pestering thoughts about Emmett.

I was about to answer, but Jacob started to bribe me, first.

“Paul is gonna be there,” he taunted, guessing my train of thought. Then his eyes brightened before I could elbow him in the ribs, and his tone was full of affection. “Maybe I could ask Bella and Edward if Nessie could come up, too.”

With much effort, I swallowed back the denial that was stuck in my throat. Having Renesmee Cullen there might not be the best thing to keep away my thoughts about the one Cullen I was thinking about way too much. But Jake hadn’t seen her for weeks—partially because he was doing his job with the packs, and partially because he was running more than most of the other wolves, being the Alpha and a good fighter and all.

“Do you have her present?” I asked, remembering that night when Paul had first told me about Amun.

Jacob nodded. “Of course.”

I didn’t ask what it was—I was zoning out again. On the one hand, I could go refuel my intense passion for Paul…or I could stay home and try to unravel why I was so consumed by Emmett. I chose wisely.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll come tonight.”

Jake’s face lit up with a sunny smile. “Great! I’ll try not to tell Paul about it, though. Keep my thoughts all secretive. You’ll surprise him.”

I grinned, for more reasons than one. Maybe, finally, once I spent some more time with Paul—because I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever, but what was only a few weeks—I could forget about Emmett. Forget the electricity from when he hugged me, the hopeful tone to his voice when he had asked if I’d stay for supper, the breathtaking grin that made my heart stop, those golden eyes that were so smoldering and entrancing….Boy, did I need to go to this bonfire.

And I knew, as I stood up from the table and proceeded into the cramped living room to distract myself with television, that tonight would be good for me, that I could forget about Emmett.

But forgetting is harder than it seems.