You & I Collide

Rachel

To some people, life is just a big mess of decisions and choices that complicate things way more than necessary. Always a cause and always an effect—and sometimes that effect is not pleasant. Sometimes the choice—the cause—is stupid and irrational. For example, the cause—me driving to the Cullen’s house for the most moronic reason in the history of forever—might just have a terrible, awful effect.

I pulled into their long driveway, driving over fallen leaves on the mid-autumn-damp road before parking in an open area of pavement. I strode up the steps, trying not to let my fear and guilt push me back into the safe confines of my car. Idiot! Coward! my mind yelled as soon as that thought popped up. With a heavy sigh, I raised a fist and was about to knock on the door when suddenly it flew open, revealing Alice.

“Rachel?” she said solemnly, giving me the strangest of looks. Huh? Then, she seemed to remember that I was standing there and could see her expression. “Oh! Rachel!” she squealed in a slightly edged tone, throwing her cold arms around me. I hugged her back, startled, and feeling slightly like I was hugging a stone pillar.

“Hi, Alice. Is it okay for me to come in?” I asked tentatively, half hoping that she would say yes and half hoping that she would say no.

She rolled her ocher eyes. “Duh. Of course. Come on inside!” the strange play of emotion from just seconds ago appeared to have vanished before I could identify it. It was unsettling to think about why she had given me that odd look.

I stepped inside the Cullen house and was greeted by many of my vampire friends. As I said hello to Edward, I worked very hard to keep my thoughts away from what was on my mind. I had to keep my feelings a lie, too—which was extremely difficult—as I was welcomed by Jasper. When I said hi to Emmett, I felt a tingle of excellence as I said his name, and a stab of guilt as my thoughts struck hard again. I hoped greatly that Jasper or Edward didn’t pick up on the suspicious behavior of my mind and emotions.

It was later on, when we were all talking in the living room, that I knew it was time. I couldn’t put this off any longer.

“Emmett?” I said, nudging him with my arm.

“What’s up, Rach?” he asked, grinning. My guilty expression wiped the grin off his face.

“Can I talk to you? Privately?” I asked. I saw Edward shoot me a hard, incredulous, shocked glance, and then I remembered that I hadn’t protected my thoughts. I had been thinking about things that I shouldn’t have while he could read my mind. Jasper, too, gave me a look, and I knew that he could feel my guilt, my intense remorse, and my selfish desire. I also knew that Edward could feel that through Jasper’s mind.

Please, I thought desperately. Please, Edward, don’t say anything. You can’t tell anyone. Please…don’t.

He nodded.

I feel awful about this, how I’m going to be so cruel about it, but I know how I feel, and I can’t go on living a lie.

Edward gave me a look that said he understood.

Emmett answered my question, then. “Sure.” Then he turned to his family. “Excuse us, for a moment.”

Everyone but Edward looked curious. Jasper looked suspicious. Alice peered over at her bronze-haired brother with questions in her eyes, but he just shook his head.

I was such a monster for doing this.

I led Emmett to Carlisle’s study—it seemed like the most private place to say what I had to—but he disagreed.

“They’ll still hear,” he muttered once I had closed the door of the office. I must have looked confused, because then he said, “Vampires, remember?”

“Right,” I said nervously. I wondered how easy to read my expression was; it seemed like he could tell I had something big to say, something the others couldn’t hear.

Abruptly, without any kind of warning whatsoever, Emmett swung me over his back, hooking his arms around my legs as I locked my arms around his neck. And then we were shooting out the window in Carlisle’s study, soaring through the air till he landed with a thud on the ground.

And then, like an angelic blur of perfection, he was running.

We shot off into the thickness of the forest, passing Edward, Bella, and Renesmee’s little cottage, and then streaking through the trees. The wind whipped across my face as I held onto him tightly. Trees and bushes and greenery were nothing but a fuzzy photograph of blurry speed that could not be doubted. And it was only when we stopped in a clearing that was quite obviously far from the house that I realized the thrill of what had just happened.

“This good?” he asked playfully, beaming. I forced a grim, tight smile and nodded. His easy-going expression changed. “You must really be worried about something…,” he thought.

“Yeah, I am,” I said. “Emmett, I don’t know where to begin, but…when I’m with you, I want to make every moment last forever. I love to spend time with you, and I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life. I just…I kind of…am falling in love with you.” It was a little hard to tell him this, difficult to be open with him, but I managed. Normally, I had no problem speaking my feelings, but my feelings were kind of choking me in this situation.

He looked taken aback for a minute. A million feelings flashed in his eyes. Shock. Pain. Disbelief. More shock.

Then, they all softened into something a little more…I don’t know—warm, maybe. He stepped forward and took my hands in his, standing so close that I could smell his pine-and-cinnamon scent. It was heavenly.

“Rachel, I think I’m falling in love with you, too, and I haven’t been able to talk about it—or even think about it, because of Edward—but I think that…I want to be with you more than…” he couldn’t finish.

“Rosalie?” I asked, filling in the blank. He nodded.

“And I know that it seems strange, considering all that…Rosalie…and I have been through, but I just keep wanting to see you and wanting to be with you and wanting to spend more time with you. You make me smile, Rachel, and I never, ever want to lose that.”

The wave of excitement that rushed over me was overpowering. He—by some incredible miracle—loved me, too. We were coming together, being drawn to each other by love. My heart beat fast in my chest, like it might burst any minute. My lungs inhaled his smell again and again, my palms tingled in his, my cheeks were growing pink.

“And,” he continued, “I know that Alice saw something about me. I could tell that everyone else was in on it but me; they all know…well, maybe not Rosalie. But maybe us being together is that very vision.”

Then I remembered Alice’s strange look, and thought that maybe it was due to a vision of me she had seen. A vision of me and Emmett…?

“Maybe,” I murmured. There were a few beats of deep, utter silence. I tried not to let my mind wander, and instead I focused on the fact that I was getting what I wanted, what I had thought I wouldn’t be able to get no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how incredibly selfish wanting what I wanted was.

“Rachel?” Emmett asked slowly.

“Yes?”

“Do you…want to be with me? I mean, do you really want to leave Paul?” the incredulity that shone in his beautiful eyes was genuine. He knew of the bond between Paul and I—our connection.

I bit my lip, then sighed. “I don’t want to hurt Paul in any way…but I think my feelings for you are too strong not to resist you now. I don’t want to have to do this to him, but I can’t lie to myself. I love you, Emmett, and I want you.”

Emmett smiled a beautiful smile. “Then I’m all yours.”