You & I Collide

Rachel

Rose was gone. She'd joined forces with the Volturi. She was dangerous and deadly. And she hated me.

Wonderful.

I didn't tell anyone about my fears voluntarily, but I'm sure Edward heard them in my head, and that Jasper felt the emotion, because it was practically the only thing I could think about. I didn't even tell Emmett, in spite of the fact that I could trust him completely. But every time I was alone, and every time Rosalie's name was mentioned, and - well, okay, all the time, pretty much - I kept thinking: She hates me for stealing away the boy she loves. And now she's changed sides, and if she ever saw me...she could hurt me. Each time, the fear grew stronger.

Emmett, on the other hand, felt both sadness and anger. He was constantly venting to me about how upset and guilty he felt at Rosalie's disappearance and change of heart, but angry that she would betray her family like that.

"I'm sure they're all feeling the same way," I told him gently one afternoon. We were walking through the woods that enclosed the Cullen property. "I'm sure that they all have some kind of understanding."

He shook his head. "No. They don't. The betrayal - sure. But the guilt? No way. They didn't push her away. They didn't exchange her like some t-shirt that's the wrong size."

I blanched.

"So...does that mean you're regretting your choice? This choice?" I said, pointedly swinging our entwined hands.

He let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Rachel. That was kind of harsh. You're not just some...replacement or anything, and I didn't mean to make it sound that way. I really care about you, in fact, maybe I lo-" but he stopped, paused, and then said, "Look, I'm just so confused right now - it's scary. But I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I promise."

I smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. "Emmett, you don't need to apologize for anything. It's perfectly normal to feel confused - I am, too. And if you ever need to talk...or need to just have someone there for you...I can be that person."

He smiled back at me sadly. "You already are, Rach, and you have been - ever since I've known you. But what with all that's happening...I just don't know what to do anymore."

I wasn't sure if I did it of my own accord, or if there was some gravitational pull forcing me to do it, but I took one look at the sadness and confusion in his golden eyes, wanted to heal it, and leaned it to seal his lips with a soft, gentle kiss.

"I don't know what to do either, Emmett," I said. "But that seemed like a good start."

His smile grew, and he leaned in to press his icy lips to mine. His cold hands lingered at my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I tried to remember what this had been like with Paul, and whether or not I preferred the vampire cold to the werewolf warm, but it didn't matter, because right now, I needed Emmett so badly, comparing him to a forgotten fantasy would just be too much.

As we walked back to his home, a comfortable silence between us, I surreptitiously ran a hand lightly over my lips, feeling the touch of his kiss. Despite Emmett's cold skin, it had been very warm, and very beautiful.

And even though I was happy we'd been able to share that moment, I kept thinking back to his unfinished sentence from before.

I really care about you, in fact, maybe I lo-"

And although that worry circled my head, another one chased it around in circles.

If he was almost - but not quite - ready to confess his love for me, was I ready to say that to him? Did I even feel that? Or was my heart longing and aching for somenoe else, someone I'd left behind out of confusion, fear, and inexplicable desires for the unknown?

I didn't know the answers to any of the questions, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to, in fear that the answers might just break my heart.