You & I Collide

Rachel

When I woke up Saturday at eleven o'clock, my stomach grumbled loudly. I flushed pink a little, even though I was the only one home. Jake was who knows where, off running patrol as a wolf, Billy - my dad - was over at the Clearwaters' house, probably with Charlie and Sue. I stumbled into the kitchen and dropped two toaster waffles into the toaster. Then I sat at the table and tried very, very hard not to think.

But, naturally, that was impossible.

Paul and Jacob and everyone else, all the other wolves. They were all going after Amun. Sure, he had to be stopped, but if only there was another way. I could see in both Jacob's and Paul's eyes how much it hurt for them to leave me and go fight. But it was mostly in Paul's mystical blue eyes that I really saw it. Jake tried to mimic that, of course, tried to act differently than he was feeling, tried to be more sympathetic. But forget sympathetic, try just plain pathetic. He cared for me, but his eagerness for this new task was gaining up on him.

It could happen at any minute. They would be running patrols or just loping along in the woods when suddenly there's Amun, bloodthirsty and strong, ready to attack, ready to kill.

My breathing accelerated, making my ribs ache. What if that did happen...only it happened when one of them was alone? I bit my lip. I could not think about that.

The waffles leaped out of the toaster, causing me to shoot up from my seat, startled. I sighed, relaxing, and covered the toaster waffles with butter and maple syrup. Then I cut them apart, failing to escape my thoughts.

Jacob would be in more danger than Paul – more danger than any of them – when they finally caught Amun. But Paul would still be in danger, and that was hard to admit to myself. He was the other half of me, a part of myself that I could not live without. Well, I could, but it would be the most miserable excuse for living ever. I would be beyond depressed if he left me, and he knew that, though I had never told him. He could read me well, almost as well as Edward, but better, in a way. Paul and I were so intertwined that he could see down into the deepness of my thoughts. He knew how much I needed him. How much it meant to me that he, for some unfathomable reason, loved me.

So if he was lost in this, I would be broken beyond repair. And the same went for Jacob, though I loved him in a much different way.

If the situation was reversed, and I was the one heading off to assist in fighting a vampire, Paul would feel the same way about me, no doubt. But sometimes I found it difficult to believe that he wanted to be with someone like me. I was hardly interesting, not an outgoing party-girl, for certain. And he was…well, he was beyond gorgeous, and kind, and caring, and loving, and the closest to perfect as a person could get. We were meant to be, in spite of all my doubt, but I often felt like I wasn’t giving as much of myself to him as he had given and continued to give of himself to me.

When the phone rang – a long, trilling sound – I jumped out of my chair again. Then I walked over and picked it up.

“Hello?” I said.

“Rachel, hi!” a perky voice said. “It’s Alice.”

“Oh, hey, Alice,” I said, my tone brightening instantly. Alice’s natural bubbly personality had that affect on people. “What’s up?”

“We’ll be there to pick you up in half an hour, if that’s okay…?” she replied.

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll be ready.”

Alice squealed into the phone. “Great! See you soon!”

“Bye!”

We both hung up and then I went to put my dishes in the sink and rinse them. Next I proceeded into my bedroom to get changed. I yanked on faded jeans and a purple t-shirt, then layered a zip-up grey hooded sweater over top. I fastened a silver chain around my neck. Attached to the chain was a pink gem stone in the shape of a heart. It had been a present from Paul, which he had given to me before the Cullens and the Quileutes had a run-in with the Volturi – all of them – who had wanted to kill Renesmee, thinking that she was one of the immortal children. There had been a ninety-nine-point-nine percentage that Paul wouldn’t have come back alive. But point-one of a percent is enough.

I had been an emotional mess the entire time. Always staying in my room, never coming out once. No eating, or drinking. I hardly even slept. The tears had flowed endlessly, for I had been sure that Paul would not come back, along with everyone else. He had given me the necklace, saying, “Just in case I don’t come back…this is a reminder of my heart, which will always be yours.” And then he had swept me into a kiss that suggested it was our last moment together. Which, of course, was what we had thought it was.

But Paul had returned. They all had. And after I had been left helpless and depressed, he had come back to me. I had never felt so relieved in my life. But then, of course, being away from him after his return was painful - it brought back those memories of aloneness and loss. After thinking that I had lost him forever, being apart from him was close to unbearable. But I had gotten over it, which was good.

Would the same thing happen all over again? I wondered as I brushed my teeth. I would be helpless once again, and without a doubt depressed. Was there some cruel force in the world that was making me endure the unbearable again? That was highly unlikely.

The same words could be used to describe the possibility of me staying sane until Amun was stopped.

All this worrying was unhealthy, I decided. Better to save it for later. Right now, I would try not to think about it...and probably fail, too, but at least the effort was there.

I heard a honk as I finished washing my face, so I darted into my bedroom, snagged my light green purse, and hurried outside. Two cars waited in the dirt driveway: a shiny yellow Porsche and a gleaming red Ferrari. Bella waved to me from her Ferrari, and so did Renesmee. Then she pointed to the yellow vehicle, and I followed her instruction and got it.

Alice sat in the front, driving, with Rosalie at her side. And, surprisingly, Esme waited in the back. That was unexpected – at first, she hadn’t been coming. Not that I objected.

I was greeted with a chorus of “Hi, Rachel” as I slid in next to Esme. She gave my a one-arm hug, and the feeling was warm regardless of her ice-cold skin.

“Rachel, it’s so nice to see you!” she told me kindly. “You haven’t been up to visit in a while.”

I shrugged. “Well, living with a werewolf and being in love with one tends to complicate things. I’ve been meaning to come see everybody, but things have been…uh…busy.” Esme gave me a confused look. Busy…in a small reservation like La Push? Or even in Forks? Right. But I didn’t want to talk about Amun, so I continued on, saying, “It’s great to see you, too, of course. What have you been up to?”

She got all motherly and warm, and her parental instincts shone through. “Well, not too much. Nessie was insistant that she learn how to cook last week, so I helped her make some eggs for Jacob. It seemed like he ate them faster than we could make them! And Rosalie painted her room a new color, didn’t you, Rose?”

Rosalie – gorgeous to the point where legality was in question – turned around in her seat and smiled at me. “The palest of blues. It’s quite nice, actually. Adds a pretty touch.”

“I’ll have to see it sometime,” I put in.

She smiled wider. “Most definitely. I like your visits, Rachel. You’re always so…happy.”

Rosalie had been friendly about yet another human knowing about their secret world, because her vanity had not been a part of the situation. We were on good terms, and I intended for it to stay that way.

And then, relating to her comment, why wouldn’t I be happy? I had amazing friends, the guy of my dreams, and a wonderful life. The fact that my friends were vampires and werewolves seemed like something outside of all that, just another little detail. And I didn’t mind, really – not when said vampires and werewolves were so nice to be around.

We drove through the rest of La Push and then moved on to Forks. Everything was dull and rainy, like most places on the Olympic Peninsula. But I felt excitement gather inside of me as we drove onward to Seattle.

“So, Rachel, what’s new these days?” Alice asked conversationally.

I held my breath, then let it all go. Frozen slightly, I answered in a tentative voice, “Oh…well, you know…nothing important.”

“I see,” she said, a little crease forming between her dark eyebrows.

“Do you?” I blurted unthinkingly. Alice could see the future, unless werewolves were directly involved, but it wasn’t dead-set. The future could always change.

Alice frowned a little. “Well…no, to be honest. I keep getting little flashes, but it’s fuzzy. Nothing’s clear.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

As we drove through the light rain, I mulled everything over, and led myself to something of a loophole. Perhaps I hadn’t been lying. Maybe I had really told the truth. Because the fact that one of the Volturi was in Forks was nothing important.

It was something extremely important.