Status: only a few more to go, hopefully it won't take me five months to post them.
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Act Three, Scene Five.
I closed the door behind me and took in the disheveled appearance of the boy across from me. His hair was a mess and he was pacing, something I took notice that he does only when he’s frustrated—not the sexual kind.
“Are, are you okay Quinn?”
He stopped and looked at me, his eyes, they showed so much confusion and I knew something had happened to him. What, I didn’t know; I just knew we weren’t going to be doing lines tonight.
“We’re sort of friends right? We can talk, right?”
I could only nod, afraid if I said anything it’d ruin whatever was happening; I needed the distraction too. He gave me a small smile and sat down, beckoning me to sit next to him. I did.
“Do, did, has, argh, godammit!”
I gently rubbed his back—what else could I do?
“When you realized you fancied Gerard, did, did it seem like he could do no wrong in your eyes?”
I just looked at him and shook my head.
“So he still was the fuck up he made himself appear to be?”
“Yes. I knew him before he came here though so I’m not sure if that’s a justifiable answer.”
He just nodded and looked away.
“Do you love him?”
He wasn’t even looking at me when he asked that, but I knew my eyes widened the same way they had when Bert had questioned the very same thing.
“I, I think I always have.”
He met my gaze and I saw sorrow etched across his face; he was in love too.
“Me too.”
“What?”
“I think I’ve always loved him, I just never realized it till today. I had come to ask if he wanted to run through our fight scene, I’m not happy with it, but I found him comforting a frazzled Way.”
He shifted, pulling his legs to his chest and facing me as he did so.
“They were talking about these two people that they both are head-over-heels over. Each of them talking about their person with such care, such, such passion it was heartwarming to know they’re capable of such emotions. Let alone whoever they were talking about, to have their hearts is to have all of them, those lucky bastards.”
Did he not know he was listening to them talk about us?
“Frankie, I, I heard him say, he said he thinks he’s in love.”
His voice broke, his eyes were filling up with tears that I knew were going to fall soon—I let them.
“Then, then I heard a name, your name. Way’s in love with you but apparently you don’t like him back, well you said you don’t love him. I heard them talk about what they had done to you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It wasn’t what they had planned.”
I just nodded; they wanted the happily ever after that I’m afraid will never come now.
“Then I heard another name—mine.”
My eyes snapped up to his and a small, sad smile was spread. His tears fell as his shoulders shook with his silent sobs.
“Why, why does it feel like this if he feels the same? No, I know it’s because neither have the guts to tell us the truth. Instead they hide behind their masks and pull our hair and push us in the mud and all those stupid second grader antics of children.”
He wiped his eyes and moved his gaze out the window. I left him to his thoughts and moved over to the piano and began to finger it softly. I wish I had my guitar, it’d fit so much better, but I was working with what I had.
The drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer
I felt his eyes on me but I still played and sung on.
You won't try to save me
You just want to hurt me
And leave me desperate
This is the song I wrote at my weakest moment, the one Mikey fears I’m coming closer and closer to reaching again. Sometimes I fear that myself.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
Instead of an actual substance it’s now a person that does this to me—to us. My eyes meet Quinn’s as I let out the pent up emotions I know we both feel towards two very different yet very similar guys.
You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in every time
My heart breaks each and every time I have to see him and to lie of my own feelings. It hurts that much more now that I know he heard me utter my lie to his best friend. It hurts so much more knowing he lets himself be used in ways that he wants me to touch him, feel him; in the way he wants me to love him.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
Everything I’m feeling right now is mirrored in those brown eyes across the room from me.
I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself (myself)
I bet you believe (bet you believe)
That I'm better off with you than someone else
A small smile finds its way to his lips and I can only continue forward with my song.
Your face arrives again
A hope I had becomes surreal
But under your cover's
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit
His form slowly makes its way towards me, his eyes never leaving my own.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
I Will Save Myself!
The last line comes out in nothing but a mere whisper; just before he captures my mouth with his. We flutter to the floor in a pile of limbs, our mouths working as one as our hands search for skin beneath the clothing that separates us. Our moans and gasps for breath are the only sounds we permit ourselves to make as we use each other in such an animalistic way.
As his fingers nimbly move up my stomach to my chest, one gently pinching a nipple as his mouth moves to my jaw then that overly sensitive spot just below my left ear. I can’t help but arch into him as my hands fist his hair, pulling him closer on his attack of my body. An attack I’m oh so willing to let happen.
I’m not sure who removes what articles of clothing first, but the moment the cold air meets my aching cock I let out a loud groan. Mere seconds later it’s covered with his hand as he strokes me, causing me to harden even more than I thought possible. My hands clawing at his back, my hips bucking into his wanton hand; one of my own slowly finds its way to his own aching need.
The second my hand touches him he bites me, hard enough to leave a mark that’ll last for days. We’re pumping each other in time, desperate to feel something, anything in our desperate moment of weakness. That all too familiar clenching starts and I feel myself building up for the release I know will come in only moments. Moments far too soon our stomachs and chests are covered with each other’s release as we moaned out the only two names to come to mind.
We simply lay entwined together on the floor, our messy middles pressed together as we gaze into each other’s eyes. This changes everything; we can read it clear as day in each other’s eyes. Of course we’re not perfection and this moment has to be ruined, it’ll always be ruined by the two raven haired men who hold our hearts. This time our phones are going off—our best friends want to know where we are.
In a haste to cover myself, a blush covering my form—why, I’m not sure. I cover the sticky mess with my clothes, hearing him do the same. I gather my bag as he pulls his shirt on and I can feel the awkwardness settling in the small room. We just glance at each other, small smiles fighting to come out and play. As my hand reaches the door, another grasps my wrists. I turn to face him and before I take my wordless leave, he presses a brief kiss to my forehead. I walk away, not glancing back.
“Are, are you okay Quinn?”
He stopped and looked at me, his eyes, they showed so much confusion and I knew something had happened to him. What, I didn’t know; I just knew we weren’t going to be doing lines tonight.
“We’re sort of friends right? We can talk, right?”
I could only nod, afraid if I said anything it’d ruin whatever was happening; I needed the distraction too. He gave me a small smile and sat down, beckoning me to sit next to him. I did.
“Do, did, has, argh, godammit!”
I gently rubbed his back—what else could I do?
“When you realized you fancied Gerard, did, did it seem like he could do no wrong in your eyes?”
I just looked at him and shook my head.
“So he still was the fuck up he made himself appear to be?”
“Yes. I knew him before he came here though so I’m not sure if that’s a justifiable answer.”
He just nodded and looked away.
“Do you love him?”
He wasn’t even looking at me when he asked that, but I knew my eyes widened the same way they had when Bert had questioned the very same thing.
“I, I think I always have.”
He met my gaze and I saw sorrow etched across his face; he was in love too.
“Me too.”
“What?”
“I think I’ve always loved him, I just never realized it till today. I had come to ask if he wanted to run through our fight scene, I’m not happy with it, but I found him comforting a frazzled Way.”
He shifted, pulling his legs to his chest and facing me as he did so.
“They were talking about these two people that they both are head-over-heels over. Each of them talking about their person with such care, such, such passion it was heartwarming to know they’re capable of such emotions. Let alone whoever they were talking about, to have their hearts is to have all of them, those lucky bastards.”
Did he not know he was listening to them talk about us?
“Frankie, I, I heard him say, he said he thinks he’s in love.”
His voice broke, his eyes were filling up with tears that I knew were going to fall soon—I let them.
“Then, then I heard a name, your name. Way’s in love with you but apparently you don’t like him back, well you said you don’t love him. I heard them talk about what they had done to you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It wasn’t what they had planned.”
I just nodded; they wanted the happily ever after that I’m afraid will never come now.
“Then I heard another name—mine.”
My eyes snapped up to his and a small, sad smile was spread. His tears fell as his shoulders shook with his silent sobs.
“Why, why does it feel like this if he feels the same? No, I know it’s because neither have the guts to tell us the truth. Instead they hide behind their masks and pull our hair and push us in the mud and all those stupid second grader antics of children.”
He wiped his eyes and moved his gaze out the window. I left him to his thoughts and moved over to the piano and began to finger it softly. I wish I had my guitar, it’d fit so much better, but I was working with what I had.
The drugs began to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer
I felt his eyes on me but I still played and sung on.
You won't try to save me
You just want to hurt me
And leave me desperate
This is the song I wrote at my weakest moment, the one Mikey fears I’m coming closer and closer to reaching again. Sometimes I fear that myself.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
Instead of an actual substance it’s now a person that does this to me—to us. My eyes meet Quinn’s as I let out the pent up emotions I know we both feel towards two very different yet very similar guys.
You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in every time
My heart breaks each and every time I have to see him and to lie of my own feelings. It hurts that much more now that I know he heard me utter my lie to his best friend. It hurts so much more knowing he lets himself be used in ways that he wants me to touch him, feel him; in the way he wants me to love him.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
Everything I’m feeling right now is mirrored in those brown eyes across the room from me.
I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself (myself)
I bet you believe (bet you believe)
That I'm better off with you than someone else
A small smile finds its way to his lips and I can only continue forward with my song.
Your face arrives again
A hope I had becomes surreal
But under your cover's
More torture than pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit
His form slowly makes its way towards me, his eyes never leaving my own.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
I Will Save Myself!
The last line comes out in nothing but a mere whisper; just before he captures my mouth with his. We flutter to the floor in a pile of limbs, our mouths working as one as our hands search for skin beneath the clothing that separates us. Our moans and gasps for breath are the only sounds we permit ourselves to make as we use each other in such an animalistic way.
As his fingers nimbly move up my stomach to my chest, one gently pinching a nipple as his mouth moves to my jaw then that overly sensitive spot just below my left ear. I can’t help but arch into him as my hands fist his hair, pulling him closer on his attack of my body. An attack I’m oh so willing to let happen.
I’m not sure who removes what articles of clothing first, but the moment the cold air meets my aching cock I let out a loud groan. Mere seconds later it’s covered with his hand as he strokes me, causing me to harden even more than I thought possible. My hands clawing at his back, my hips bucking into his wanton hand; one of my own slowly finds its way to his own aching need.
The second my hand touches him he bites me, hard enough to leave a mark that’ll last for days. We’re pumping each other in time, desperate to feel something, anything in our desperate moment of weakness. That all too familiar clenching starts and I feel myself building up for the release I know will come in only moments. Moments far too soon our stomachs and chests are covered with each other’s release as we moaned out the only two names to come to mind.
We simply lay entwined together on the floor, our messy middles pressed together as we gaze into each other’s eyes. This changes everything; we can read it clear as day in each other’s eyes. Of course we’re not perfection and this moment has to be ruined, it’ll always be ruined by the two raven haired men who hold our hearts. This time our phones are going off—our best friends want to know where we are.
In a haste to cover myself, a blush covering my form—why, I’m not sure. I cover the sticky mess with my clothes, hearing him do the same. I gather my bag as he pulls his shirt on and I can feel the awkwardness settling in the small room. We just glance at each other, small smiles fighting to come out and play. As my hand reaches the door, another grasps my wrists. I turn to face him and before I take my wordless leave, he presses a brief kiss to my forehead. I walk away, not glancing back.