Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

“What do you mean you kissed him too? Frank, seriously, what the hell happened today?”

I threw my shirt to the floor and pulled on the tank that I sleep in while at school. I dropped my pants as I climbed into bed, ignoring Mikey’s attempts at an explanation for today’s actions. I didn’t have one to give. After a few moments of lying there I felt a weight on top of me.

“You’re not letting this go, do you have any idea what you’ve done to my brother?”

I narrowed my eyes at him; he was not going to play the guilt card on me, not now.

“No I don’t because your brother apparently doesn’t care for people like me Mikey, why should I care what he thinks about who I kiss?”

Mikey shoved me further into my mattress before moving to straddle me. He ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner before he brought one down to hit my chest.

“Are you fucking blind?! Have you not paid any attention to anything he’s done or said to you in the past few weeks?”

“Are you blind Mikes? He hasn’t spoken to me in the past two weeks, not since the day that I panicked and blacked out. I know what he said to me that day but since then, he has avoided me like the plague, like he normally does.”

He looked shocked for a moment before he spoke again.

“Have you not noticed the way he looks at you at least?”

I looked away from him and shook my head—lie. I felt my eyes watering, they shouldn’t be; this wasn’t even some huge fight we were having. This was just Mikey being the brother and best friend all at once. I felt him move from on top of me to my side. He put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest and just held me. He ran his hand up and down my back as he let me go through this mini-breakdown.

I tried to hold in the tears but they just wouldn’t remain. It shouldn’t be so surprising that Quinn would kiss me, he’s openly bi at school; one of the reasons Bert picks on him so much. Apparently it’s a bigger issue to like both sexes rather than just the same. I can’t deny he’s a great guy. He’s really funny and genuine and I can’t deny I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve spent with just he and I while we practiced lines. I know kissing is mandatory due to our roles but today, today wasn’t.

“Mikey?”

“Yes Frankie?”

“Did I hurt Gerard today?”

I could only feel him nod. More tears fell down my cheeks as I clung to Mikey as if my life depended on it. I’ve been practically in love with his brother for as long as Mikey and I have been friends—seven years. We met in third grade.

“Why?”

I hadn’t meant to let it slip out but I wanted to know why he seeing Quinn kissing me hurt him. My mind automatically goes towards the idea that he actually likes me, but his circle of friends would never permit him to do anything if he actually did.

“It’s not my place Frank. If I could, I would, but it’s not my place.”

I felt him kiss the top of my head as his hand still rubbed my back soothingly. I didn’t understand Gerard at all. His actions when he wasn’t with his friends would say that he at least has a crush on me, but for the most part his actions these past two weeks tell me he still hates me. I finally let out a sob that I had been holding in. More kept coming out, I couldn’t help myself anymore. I just let it all out.