Too Much

[ Alex Gaskarth ]

“Why is he such a dick?” The disgust was clear in my voice as I stuffed my hands in my pockets. Yesterday had been great, today had been disastrous. I’d almost lost everything. I was surprised at my self control, but god did I just want to punch him.

“Alex,” she breathed out, exhaustion oozing from every inch of her. Anger was far from my mind as she said my name. She hadn’t called me Alex for so long. It was always Gaskarth with distaste on her tongue.

“I’m sorry.” If only it had been so easy to say those words three years ago. Jasey didn’t stop walking, but she slowed down and gazed at me.

“You really have changed, haven’t you?” Her words come out slow and soft before she turned her gaze back to in front of her. I could tell she was trying to dismiss the idea with anything she could think of, probably replaying countless times that I was immature.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” I smiled a little while she shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. She was hugging herself tightly. “You cold?” Jasey was only wearing a thin long sleeved shirt and I knew she was probably trying to hold back shivers. I slipped off my jacket and rested it on her shoulders.

“You’re too sweet to be Gaskarth,” she muttered and slid her arms into the sleeves. This made the little smile on my face brighten. I was winning her over. The process was slow, but she was starting to forgive me.

“Only sweet to you, doll face.” I smirked as she snorted at the old pet name.

“I forgot how much I hated it when you called me doll face.” Jasey was smiling and it made my heart soar. She was actually smiling at me, because of something I said. Maybe I was closer than I’d thought.

“Aw, come on. You know you secretly loved it.” I chuckled while she shook her head fiercely.

“Nope. I always thought it was the strangest thing but,” she trailed off, looking straight ahead with a stern look on her face. I sighed as we hit some block and the rest of the walk was silent.

“So maybe we can go down to the boardwalk later, what do you say?” I tried to pick it back up as we stopped in front of her building again. The look she was giving me made my chest hurt. It was a mixture of hurt and regret.

“No,” she whispered before turning her back on me and heading up the stairs. There was a melancholy feel to the air as she walked away from me. Hope sprung up when she turned at the door. “I forgot about your jacket.” She mumbled as she took one step down and started to slip out of the warmth.

“You keep it.” I smiled sadly as she opened her mouth to protest. “Until tomorrow.” Jasey thought about it for a second and then gave a short nod before she entered the building, leaving me standing on the sidewalk once again.

Sometimes it felt like I was fighting a useless battle with her. No matter how much ground I seemed to cover, she always had a way of making it look like nothing.