Status: finished : )
Too Much
Better off without me
[ Alex Gaskarth ]
Jasey has been missing for two days and it’s all my fault. I went into Starbucks first thing Thursday morning to apologize profusely, but I’d only found Damon. He begrudgingly told me that Jasey had called in sick for the day, and the next day. She hadn’t even called Jewels.
Speaking of Jewels, she was furious with me. Tomorrow was her birthday and I’d chased away her best friend when I was supposed to be getting along with her. I sat in my room, on my bed, glancing at my phone on the nightstand continuously. She wouldn’t call me, but I wished. I was probably the last person she wanted to ever see again. In fact, I knew I was, she’d told me so.
“Alex!” Jack yelled from somewhere in my house. I shouted a response and he was soon standing in my doorway, a bit out of breath. “Jasey’s back!” My heart lightened with the news. At least she was okay, that was what was important. “She’s with Jewels at their apartment. She doesn’t want to see anybody right now, but Jewels said she’s doing great in her text.”
“That’s good.” I nodded and stared down at my shoes. Jack didn’t move so I guessed he had more to say. When he didn’t talk, I raised my head to see him staring at me worried.
“You shouldn’t beat yourself up man.” He shook his head while I snorted.
“This is my fault, Jack. I’m the one she ran from. I’m the reason she left.” I placed my head in my hands. Nothing could stop the pounding in my head or the ache in my chest.
“So how are you planning to say you’re sorry then?” Jack crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
“I’m done with planning.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. “I’ve caused enough of a mess. She’s better off without me in her life, and besides, there’s no way I can every find a way to apologize to her as much as she deserves.”
“Why don’t you try writing her a song?” I snorted again at his suggestion while I raised my head to stare at him oddly.
“Because that worked out so well last time?” I noted dryly as he grinned. The picture of her furious face flashed in my thoughts. She had been so pissed when she heard the song I’d named after her and written for her. She even threw a lamp at me.
“Right, well, this time try to make it not as dramatic.” Jack shrugged and dropped his grin for a serious expression. “You’re so good with words and tons of girls fall for the stuff you write.” I was about to mention that Jasey wasn’t a part of the ‘normal girl’ population, but he stopped me. “Just, try writing with this,” Jack laid his palm on his chest, above his heart, “instead of with this,” he pointed at the side of his forehead.
“I don’t know Jack.” I sighed and ruffled my hair a bit as I thought.
“Just give it a try.” Jack shrugged and then left the room, closing the door behind him.
I didn’t move for a while after he left. I just soaked in that Jasey was okay. I didn’t think Jack’s idea would work, but as the night progressed I found myself with a notepad in front of me and a pen in my hand. It just seemed to pour out onto the paper as I shed the heavy weight from my chest.
It wasn’t too long before I had my acoustic guitar on my knee and everything just eased together.
Jasey has been missing for two days and it’s all my fault. I went into Starbucks first thing Thursday morning to apologize profusely, but I’d only found Damon. He begrudgingly told me that Jasey had called in sick for the day, and the next day. She hadn’t even called Jewels.
Speaking of Jewels, she was furious with me. Tomorrow was her birthday and I’d chased away her best friend when I was supposed to be getting along with her. I sat in my room, on my bed, glancing at my phone on the nightstand continuously. She wouldn’t call me, but I wished. I was probably the last person she wanted to ever see again. In fact, I knew I was, she’d told me so.
“Alex!” Jack yelled from somewhere in my house. I shouted a response and he was soon standing in my doorway, a bit out of breath. “Jasey’s back!” My heart lightened with the news. At least she was okay, that was what was important. “She’s with Jewels at their apartment. She doesn’t want to see anybody right now, but Jewels said she’s doing great in her text.”
“That’s good.” I nodded and stared down at my shoes. Jack didn’t move so I guessed he had more to say. When he didn’t talk, I raised my head to see him staring at me worried.
“You shouldn’t beat yourself up man.” He shook his head while I snorted.
“This is my fault, Jack. I’m the one she ran from. I’m the reason she left.” I placed my head in my hands. Nothing could stop the pounding in my head or the ache in my chest.
“So how are you planning to say you’re sorry then?” Jack crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
“I’m done with planning.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. “I’ve caused enough of a mess. She’s better off without me in her life, and besides, there’s no way I can every find a way to apologize to her as much as she deserves.”
“Why don’t you try writing her a song?” I snorted again at his suggestion while I raised my head to stare at him oddly.
“Because that worked out so well last time?” I noted dryly as he grinned. The picture of her furious face flashed in my thoughts. She had been so pissed when she heard the song I’d named after her and written for her. She even threw a lamp at me.
“Right, well, this time try to make it not as dramatic.” Jack shrugged and dropped his grin for a serious expression. “You’re so good with words and tons of girls fall for the stuff you write.” I was about to mention that Jasey wasn’t a part of the ‘normal girl’ population, but he stopped me. “Just, try writing with this,” Jack laid his palm on his chest, above his heart, “instead of with this,” he pointed at the side of his forehead.
“I don’t know Jack.” I sighed and ruffled my hair a bit as I thought.
“Just give it a try.” Jack shrugged and then left the room, closing the door behind him.
I didn’t move for a while after he left. I just soaked in that Jasey was okay. I didn’t think Jack’s idea would work, but as the night progressed I found myself with a notepad in front of me and a pen in my hand. It just seemed to pour out onto the paper as I shed the heavy weight from my chest.
It wasn’t too long before I had my acoustic guitar on my knee and everything just eased together.