Too Much

[ Jasey Rae ]

Alex had Jack’s old guitar settled on his knee while he sat on Jack’s old bed. It felt strange to be sitting in here, all this time later, with Alex and a guitar. It was like a replay of everyday of our sophomore year. Alex and I would come over to the Barakat’s and the four of us would sit in Jack’s room, randomly around the room. And then Alex would play the newest song he’d thought of while in English class that morning. And, of course, Jack would do commentary and Jewels and I would disappear to her room.

“Okay, so I wrote this last night. I have been a little sleep deprived so don’t make fun if it sucks balls.” Alex winked and then started to strum on the guitar. He kept his eyes down and his face about as straight as he could.


I admit, I miss seeeing your face babe
and being alone is starting to take its toll
I'm cold and it's getting old
I admit, I should have made some changes
We were so smothered in love
We didnt' have a chance to come up for air

What a waste, where did the time go?
Where did our minds go? I don't know
What's this place? Where did our home go?
We won't know, I don't know

Too much of anything is too much
Too much love can be too much
What had too much time, too much us
So we fought like tomorrow was promised

I admit, I'm still watching the days go by
And sleeping alone is starting to break me down
It's cold, but I should have known
I admit, I made a few mistakes, babe
We were so caught up in love
We didn't have a chance to come up for air

What a waste, where did the time go?
Where did our minds go? I don't know
What's this place? Where did my heart go?
We'll never know, I'll never know

Too much of anything is too much
Too much love can be too much
We had too much time, too much us
So we fought like tomorrow was promised
Too much, too much, too much, too much
Too much, too much, too much, too much
Too much, too much, too much, too much
Much, much too much

Tears welled up in my eyes. “Alex, it’s beautiful.” I smiled and raised my hands to wipe at my eyes. Alex stopped me. He laid down the guitar and knelt in front of me, cupping my face in his hands so that he could rub the tears away with his thumbs.

“I wrote it for a very beautiful girl.” He whispered and the one side of his mouth rose higher than the other as he grinned. That was the whole hearted smile that always made me melt. “I know you said you loved me back when, but I want you to know that I love you now, Jasey Rae. I love you so much, sometimes it hurts.” I snorted but then wished I hadn’t as he quickly dropped the smile I adored to frown with disappointment.

“I love you now, Alexander Gaskarth.” I chuckled as my favorite smile reappeared on his face. He stood up and hunched over so that he could pull me toward him and crash our lips together. We were both smiling into the kiss, the indescribable-cause-it-feels-so-good kind of kiss that I’d missed entirely too much for my own good. The one only Alex could give me. I pulled back to his disappointment and grinned at his frown. “I told you that you were right. I was hiding behind the grudge because I was also scared of how much I lo-,” Alex cut me off as he kissed me rough.

“Shut up, Jasey,” he mumbled against my lips, making me smile wider into the kiss.

“But may-,” I giggled this time as he pushed harder against my lips to try to stop me from talking. His tongue traced my bottom lip as he begged for an entrance. I pulled away again. “Maybe we should go downstairs before someone comes to check that we haven’t gouged each other’s eyes out.” He groaned but let his hands fall from my face, because he knew I was right.

“Jasey Rae, you will be the death of me.” Alex sighed as he straightened up and let his eyes linger on me before he started toward the door. He was thinking I hadn’t meant for the kiss to happen, or probably even the words I said.

I shook my head and hurried by his side, slipping my hand in his while our fingers laced. “And maybe we can finish what we started when we get back to your place tonight.” I smirked as I kissed his cheek and dragged him down the hallway.

Things were slowly starting to fall into the place they should have been in to begin with.