Crystal Vision

“Hmph,” I heard him grunt, “I didn’t think you would show.”

I took another puff of the cigarette that I held for dear life in between my fingers, “Neither did I. So is this your usual hangout spot?”

“Kind of, just wait ‘till you check out the shitty set-up I have going; Once I get enough, ill move out.”

I shivered and threw my cigarette to the ground, “Wait, you live here?”

His honey brown hair blew in wind, “Perhaps I do. No need for judgment.”

“Of course,” After blowing out the last breath of tobacco, I and he ascended up the stair case inside of the pub, up to a flat, where there sat a mattress covered in peasant’s sheets and a pillow, and next to it sat an alarm clock. The rest of the room was small, but I could see why he was so ripped. “Wow,” I looked around some more, “This is amazing.”

“You’re joking?” he said laughing, “Anyone else would be surprised that a human lives here.” He turned around, observing everything before sitting down on the mattress, “So, what makes you want to learn so bad. It’s no walk in the park.”

“I know,” I stalled the sentence looking for more words; “I guess I’m just…tired of being vulnerable? It’s always good to have some self defense under your belt, right?”

“Perhaps,” he said, “You might have potential, but we shall see.”

I waited for him to say or do something. Giving him a puzzled look, he told me he was thinking, and then he began to speak, “Ok, have you ever been traumatized by another person, with the other persons intentions clear?”

I thought for a second, “Huh?”

“Ok, um…” he began thinking again. Then I said, “Why don’t you give me examples?”

“Well, just if you think of a time when you were most helpless, that will help motivate you, and keep you going. Do you understand?”

I hated him right at that moment, more than anything. I wanted to turn and run, but where would I go? Tears prickled in my eyes and I turned away from his gaze, ashamed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He was respectfully quiet for a few moments before a softness in his voice took hold, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be; it wasn’t your fault.” And then I desperately wanted to tell him. “Remember what we said before, about no judgment?”

He replied, “Yes. Kyrah, you may tell my anything you like.”

“When I was younger,” I clenched my teeth, “I was walking home from school because my mom had to take the car in to get fixed or something, I cannot quite remember. But all I do remember is being the stupidest kid alive and taking a shortcut through a neighborhood that I didn’t know very well.
“As I was walking, a man appeared to me asking if I’d seen his dog. When I told him to leave me alone, he grabbed me and dragged me a few feet into the alleyway, and holding a knife up to my throat, he…he- I stopped there. It was silence again for a long while as tears traced down my cheek. I was pathetic.

“Are you alright?”

“I’ll live. I get why you want to do this; makes me motivated, I guess,” I said, wiping a tear, still facing the wall. I heard him get up and open a closet door, arousing my curiosity. Then, rummaging through a couple of boxes, he re-appeared with a rather large, red plastic knife. “What are you doing!?”

“Come here for a moment,”

I walked closer yet slowly until he grabbed me, his arms around my neck and stomach. I squirmed and thrashed but the grip only got tighter. “Does this bring something back? Do you remember that night?”

I began to sob, “Please let me go, I don’t want to do this anymore,”

“Listen to me carefully; when someone has you in a hold such as this one, squirming will do you no good, understand?”

I nodded.

“Now do as I say; Move slightly to your left and give yourself some room. Then get your hand under my arm and grab the knife,” I did as he said and gripped it tightly, “Now because you’re out of the way, you can shove the knife into my chest. Do it. Stab me.”

I pushed the plastic against him, “C’mon, I’m about to take your life, Stab me!” I stabbed him harder, “Again!” I did it over again and again, the night my innocence was taken from me flashing back before my eyes. The man, and my screams; until I broke down and dropped to the floor, the plastic knife splitting into 2.
His breathing was heavy from holding me; as he laid me down on the ground slowly, he stood up and looked down at me, “You’re training has begun.”