You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away

With the trust she had found in Jack, Steff stayed on tour for the remaining week or so, and describing that experience as awkward and awful was only the beginning.

Kyra made every comment and joke she could about Steff being a skank, slut, or whore. She made comments about Jack having to settle for second best because she was with Alex, who you’d think would have stayed out of the conversations. But he didn’t. Alex was a regular participant in Kyra’s name calling and teasing, mainly because he was upset with his best friend.

In Alex’s mind, it wasn’t right for Jack to always be the knight in shining armor, swooping in after Alex broke a girl’s heart and piecing it back together. That wasn’t what your best friend was supposed to do. He was supposed to support you when you had the broken heart, yet Jack would go off and support the girl.

Jack thought it was only fair to make sure the girl Alex hurt was okay. He couldn’t help it that he cared so much. It was known that Alex didn’t have the best track record with girls, and Jack hated to watch the girls fall apart. He just wanted everyone to be okay, and he knew it wouldn’t happen on its own. So he had helped Kyra and Steff by being there for them and left Alex to fend for himself because he ‘was a big boy and could make it on his own.’ No, seriously, Alex had made that point several times in the past.

Alex was sitting in the back lounge as the bus was headed out of Detroit for the final drive home. He held an Xbox controller in his hand and stared intently at the flat screen television where he was playing Call of Duty. His thumbs hit the different buttons causing his character to jump or shoot or run as he played in campaign mode, trying to complete it before they got home.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he was shot. “No! Dammit! How the hell did I die?” He hit his head against the wall and took a deep breath before trying again.

“Hey, can I talk to you?”

Alex hit the pause button and looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway that connected the lounge to the bunks where just about everyone else on the bus was sleeping, seeing as it was around one am.

The coffee haired boy just nodded, placing his controller down as his lanky friend took a seat next to Alex.

“Why are you acting this way?” Jack asked as he looked at his friend. “You need to grow up. You’re picking on me and Steff because we care about each other. And you’re just going along with whatever the hell Kyra says about us just to get under our skin. Do you not understand how much Kyra and you have hurt me and Steff? You used Steff to get Kyra back and she really cared about you…”

“Yeah, then she goes and sleeps with you to make herself feel better so she thinks someone cares about her,” Alex spat, causing Jack to frown.

“I care about her a hell of a lot more than you do,” Jack stated. “I’ve taken the time to get to know her and I actually like her, Alex. Every time I hear you or Kyra call her a whore or a slut or a skank or a bitch or whatever other names have came out of your mouths I have had to hold myself back from lunging across something and punching your face in. How would you like it if Steff and I were calling Kyra and you names, making fun of you for trying to help a broken girl, and for caring about someone else’s well being more than your own?”

“Stop being a drama queen,” Alex rolled his eyes and picked his controller back up to continue his game. The frown on the black haired boy’s face grew as he waited for a better response from his friend. When he knew he wasn’t going to get it, he stood up and walked over to the white box that sat on the shelf under the television. His thumb pressed the glowing green power button causing the system to shut off and all of Alex’s progress to be lost.

“What the hell?” Alex shouted. Jack pressed the power button on the side of the television before turning to face his friend again. His arms crossed over the thin white t-shirt he had on.

“I asked you a question and I expect an answer,” Jack stated calmly. “How would you like it if me and Steff were the ones calling Kyra and you names, making fun of your best friend for trying to help a broken girl, and for either of you caring about someone else’s well being more than your own?”

“You’re soft, you wouldn’t do it,” Alex shrugged, tossing his controller into the container under the couch.

“I swear to God, Alex, you are the most impossible person to talk to.”

“You aren’t much better,” Alex countered. “I mean, you’re too wrapped up in making sure that blonde bimbo is…”

“You do not call Steff that,” Jack said through gritted teeth. “You know that Steff is anything but a bimbo. She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met…”

“That’s what you said about Kyra, and now you hate her!” Alex shouted.

“Because she was using me to make you jealous and I fell in love with her!” Jack yelled back. “You know she was the first girl I had sex with, Alex. I trusted her enough to do that, unlike you who sleeps with any girl who is willing throw themselves at you!”

“You know that’s not true,” Alex fought back. “I didn’t…”

“You were a wreck through high school. Every week it was a different girl, Alex. Every fucking week!”

“That is not true…”

“Okay, every other week,” Jack spat, leaving Alex speechless. “Either way, you went through girls like I go through guitar picks anymore…”

“You’re just jealous!” Alex interrupted. “You are so jealous that girls would rather be with me than with you! That’s why you take my leftovers. I break their hearts and you’re hoping that one of them will fall for you because they don’t want to love me…”

“Alex…” Jack cautioned as the coffee haired boy stood up and walked over to him.

“You’re a jealous little manipulative jackass,” Alex said, shoving Jack so he was against the wall. “You played Kyra, now you’re playing Steff, hoping one of them might fall in love with you, when in reality, they both use you. They are walking all over you like a doormat, Jack.”

“N-No,” Jack stammered. “You have to remember I broke up with Kyra…”

“Because you knew it was true!” Alex smirked, grabbing the collar of Jack’s shirt to hold him against the wall. “You knew Kyra was using you, just like Steff is now. You want her to fall in love with you because you know she won’t ever come back to me. She’s too smart to go back to the boy who broke her heart. You thought the same of Kyra, but look how that turned out.”

“Stop,” Jack said. “You’re lying.”

“No, you know it’s true. Steff’s gonna walk out on you as soon as tour is over. She’s going to leave you and never look back. She’ll go off and finish collage or whatever she’s doing and never look back. Maybe she’ll even find a new boy to screw over or one to love. All I know is that Jack Barakat will be a little speck on the horizon that she’ll never remember.”

“You’re lying,” Jack repeated through gritted teeth, even though he was afraid that Alex was right.

You see, Jack had instantly taken to Steff as soon as she joined tour. He loved her personality and she was just a great person to be around. His caring and protective instincts kicked in once he met her. For some unknown reason he thought that it was his job to protect her from the world and all the crap it threw at her, like Lipshaw, who Jack knew had wanted more from Steff ever since she opened up to him. Jack was afraid that she’d leave once tour was over just so she’d never have to see Alex’s face or hear his voice ever again. She had made a comment about moving to the French countryside to get away from Kyra and Alex. Steff claimed it was a joke, but Jack wasn’t too sure.

“You wish I was lying,” Alex said, tightening his grip on Jack’s shirt with one fist and letting the other one fall to his side. “You don’t want it to be the truth because if it is your little perfect world will come crashing down.”

“Why do you think my world is perfect?” Jack asked, his big brown eyes showing just how confused he was. “Alex, my world isn’t perfect, it’s never been perfect...”

“You’re just saying that to save your ass,” Alex spat. Jack blinked a few times as his friend pulled his free fist back to punch him. “It’s all an act. You’re just saying that so I’ll feel bad for you…”

“I’m saying because it’s true!”

“Oh, okay, Barakat,” Alex scoffed, pulling his fist bag farther to gain momentum Jack knew what was coming and he gulped, knowing no words would make Alex change his mind he waited for Alex’s fist to collide with his face.

“Stop!”

Alex turned his head to see everyone else was awake and trying to see into the lounge to see what was happening. In this brief moment of safety, Jack pushed Alex back so he could slide down the wall and catch his breath. His heart was beating so fast he though it might explode right out of his chest.

The coffee haired boy’s eyes narrowed at the blonde that had yelled at him to stop. Her hair was messy from rolling around in her bunk and she wore Jack’s green basketball shorts and the Stay Fly ‘Til You Die shirt she had been wearing in the hotel over a week ago. She kneeled down next to Jack asking if he was okay.

“I’m fine, Steff, honest,” Jack told her.

“You had me worried,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into the crook of his neck. “Your yelling woke all of us up. I was afraid someone was going to get hurt.”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Alex half laughed and half smirked. “This is all an act. She’s acting scared to make me feel bad and believe your pathetic excuse for being together.”

“Alex,” Rian warned, pushing his way through the door way, “stop right there. You’re going to say or do something you’ll regret.”

“Nope,” Alex laughed, ignoring his friend‘s advice. “I’m doing just fine. Except for the fact that my best friend sleeps with my ex-girlfriend because he knows he won’t get laid any other way. It‘s the only reason you‘re not a virgin. Kyra used you, Jack. She used you and you…”

“Oh. My. God,” Steff said, interrupting Alex. “Shut. Up.”

Alex opened his mouth to speak again but Kyra cut him off this time as she made her way through the group in the doorway.

“Babe, let it go.”

“But, Kyraleigh…”

“It’s almost two in the morning; you’ve been up all day. You need to sleep,” she told him, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the bunks. “You’re probably just delusional. You’ve been up since eight AM. You really shouldn’t go that long without sleep. I don’t care how many energy drinks you’ve had…”

The rest of the group stood around for a moment, waiting for Kyra and Alex to get into their bunks before retreating to their own, leaving Jack and Steff alone in the lounge.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything at all, Steff,” Jack replied, pulling the blonde into his lap.

“Why did you sleep with Kyra?”

Jack let out a light chuckle and wrapped his arms around Steff a little bit tighter that he had done previously. “I hate to quote the song Alex wrote for her, but ‘it was obvious, you were too much for me, oblivious, I was young and horny.’ That’s the real reason. I thought it was love, but in retrospect, I think it was just my hormones. I mean, I had several other girlfriends and slept in the same room as several other girls I had been with, and I was fine then. I think I just became oblivious and let what I thought was love take over my mind.”

“Oh,” Steff said, resting her head on his shoulder and just sitting like that for a few minutes, listening to the beat of his heart and the rhythm of his breathing. “Have you ever been in love, Jack?”

“What do you mean by that?” the dark haired boy asked, looking down at the blonde.

“I mean, have you ever thought that the person you’re with could be the person you’re meant to be with forever, like you can completely trust them and know they aren‘t ever going to hurt you?”

He pondered this statement for a few moments before responding, “Yeah, I think I have. What about you?”

“I think so,” she replied, closing her eyes. A few more minutes passed of the two sitting there in silence before Jack asked, “I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you really going to move to the French countryside and leave me here all alone?”

She let out a light giggle, “No, silly. If I did leave, I’d take you with me.”

“Good to know,” Jack smiled. “Now, c’mon, it’s like 2 in the morning, we should probably get back to bed.”

“But I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep now that your arguing has woken me up from a really good dream.”

“Awe, I’m sorry,” Jack said, as the blonde stood up and fixed her shorts. “How about I make it up to you by letting you use me as a pillow? You said I was a comfy pillow in the hotel…”

“I might need to take you up on that offer,” Steff smiled as Jack stood up. He took her hand and led her to his bunk, where they both crawled into it. Jack pulled the blankets over their bodies before wrapping his arms around the blonde.

Within minutes, she was asleep, causing Jack to let out a soft laugh. He kissed the top of her head and told her goodnight before falling asleep.

The bus was still moving down the highway at sixty miles per hour. The hum of the engine and heater could be heard over the soft snores of it’s inhabitants. Everyone just wanted the tour to be over. There was too much drama for this tour. For some, they just wanted to go home and sleep in their own beds. Others wanted the freedom to do what they wanted when they wanted. But the majority just wanted to get away from everyone else. Still there was a problem; if Jack and Alex were arguing, could their friendship and band be saved?