Nancy Boy

Twenty hours later I woke up with the biggest headache I've ever experienced. I mean, this was like having the hangover from hell!

I turned over from the wall I was facing and nearly whacked my head against the ceiling as I shot up so fast--- Adam had been watching me, so when I turned over, I came face to face with him---- which scared the fuck out of me.

"Jesus Adam!" I yelled before clutching my head as it throbbed. "What the fuck are you doing there?"

"Sorry," he said sympathetically, riffling around in his bag until he found some aspirin to offer me. I swallowed three pills as he continued to explain himself, "I was starting to worry about you..." he admitted. "So I've been trying to wake you for an hour now..."

"The doctor said I should sleep, and that I'd sleep for a long time," I grumbled. "There really wasn't a need to worry..."

"There's always a need to worry about you," he corrected giving me a look like 'you're an idiot, afterall.'

"Well, I'm fine..." I assured him as I crawled out of my bunk. "I just feel like crap..."

"Headache?" he said knowingly.

I gave a nod, "And I'm dizzy and I'm nauseas..."

"Well then, take it easy," he offered, "just hang around for a bit..."

"I need to call someone, actually," I said with a shrug. "I think I'll go for a walk, after I change though..."

"Alright be careful," Adam smiled before realizing he needed to get backstage and running off.

By the time I changed into a pair of plain jeans and a lime green 'Boys Like Girls' tank top it was 4 in the afternoon and Placebo was onstage. I walked off the bus and started perusing the new parking lot-- to be honest, I had no idea what city we were in... It wasn't an arena though... This concert was set up festival style, like warped tour.

I gave a yawn and stretch pulling my white sunglasses on, the bright sun making my headache worse, as I looked for a place to sit.

Luckilly, I found a picnic table near Linkin Park's bus and decided to sit on the tabletop to call my absolute closest friend, very happy that the large tour bus provided shade.

The phone rang a few times before someone picked up and uttered something incoherent, almost a groan like noise.

"Hello?" I said, raising a brow.

"Huhhn?" the voice replied just as grogilly.

"Jimmy, it's Ash," I explained before hearing a yawn.

"Ash? Why are you calling so early?" he asked, still groggy, but clearly waking up.

I laughed, "James Owen Sullivan! It is 4 in the afternoon! Wake your lazy ass up!"

"Ashleigh Elena Way..." he began with another yawn, and a weary tone, "It not 4 in the afternoon in Thailand... Where we are on tour!"

"Oh.. I'm sorry Jimmy!" I said with a pout I knew he'd hear.

"Aw, don't do that," he said, picking up on my pout. He sighed, "I don't really need to sleep anyways... What's up, Bon?" he asked.

"A lot, Clyde," I responded--- to explain a bit, everytime we were together we caused trouble... Not that Gee had ever been aware back then, but Mikey was... Thus calling us "Bonnie and Clyde", so we started referring ourselves as that...

See, Jimmy was my closest friend despite being 8 years older than me, and despite the fact that, really, I was close with the entire band... But, for some reason, Jimmy and I are inseperatable. I mean, Jimmy is my rock... He's the sensible one in the band, the one with all the answers and all the solutions. Not that the rest of them weren't helpfully, but Jimmy just understood the way my mind worked. We were two very similiar people.

"Spill it," he said as I heard him get out of bed and walk around. I could picture him walking toward his cigarettes and grabbing one, something confirmed by the sound of a lighter as he no doubt walked out onto a balcony to talk to me.

"Good cigarettes in Thailand?" I asked.

"I found Camel Darkmints..." he noted before adding, "Don't change the subject now, missy... Spill..."

"Everything seems to be going to shit..." I said with a sigh after a long pause. "Gerard has been going crazy... I'm pretty sure he's drinking again, Jimmy..."

"What the fuck..." Jimmy said in a tone that was more shocked and dissapointed than one that was mad. "After two almost three years of sobriety, he'd be an idiot..." There was a brief silence between us for a moment before he asked, "What made you think this?"

"Well, it all started the first day of tour... I kind of stayed out all night talking to Brian Molko and I had a beer, yes I get that that was my fault, and that's fine, but Gerard flipped out!" I started.

"You stayed out all night?" he repeated

"Yeah, but in my defense, I'd spent the day sleeping on a tourbus, I needed some fresh air and it's not like I was fucking everyone... I was talking to one of my idols!" I explained.

"Alright, that's a bit different then..." Jimmy agreed. "Still, you should have told someone, but the lot is well surveyed for the most part, and I'm sure Adam or Ville or someone was out all night anyhow and well aware of where you were... Otherwise they would've told you to go to bed..."

"Exactly!" I agreed. "Anyhow, Gee flipped out, and then he attacked Brian and the two started fist fighting until Adam and I pulled them apart... I got caught in the crossfire and I'm pretty sure it was Gee's fist that collided with my face... So I'm staying with Adam for the rest of the tour..."

"Gee hit you?!" Jimmy asked. "Even if it was an accident, that's so fucked up!"

"It get's better..." I said. "He also let Adam and Brian in on what happened to me during the revenged tour, well, actually he screamed it out."

"With... Bert?" Jimmy asked cautiously, unsure if he should say it. Jimmy was the only person I told... Mikey didn't even know.

"Yeah," I confirmed, "now everyone knows about that... and they keep trying to talk about it.... But, that's the last thing I want to fucking do..."

"Hey, just tell them it's not the time, and it's not something you wish to discuss... Those that you felt comfortable confiding that in know, and that's all that matters," he said softly.

"Thanks... I'm not done with my Gee schpeil yet..."

"Really?" he asked a bit shocked that there was more.

"Yeah, not even close. Okay so, I ended up wearing a pair of jeans a bra--- that looked like a bathing suit top, mind you, to the festivities the next day... I'll admit, part of me wanted to piss Gee off for being an ass in the best way I knew how but really it was just really hot as well.. Well, my plan worked and Gee was pissed... He stormed off stage swearing and screaming with a look in his eyes I've never seen before... He them grabbed my wrist and started yelling at me. I told him to let go because, y'know, he was hurting my wrist... He just replied "good" to that and held on tighter while he lectured in a violent tone.... I really thought he was going to break my wrist, Jimmy... Then he finally let go of my wrist and shoved me backward, causing me to crack my head on the cement..." I mumbled. "Then Brian ran over to help me while Mikey flipped out on Gerard---"

"Brian and you are getting along well, aren't you..." Jimmy noted. "Something's going on, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "we're sort of together... sort of not though, cause it's super illegal..."

"Mm, yeah, it is... Gee doesn't know this, right?"

"Nope..."

"Okay, continue..."

"Well, Brian came over to help, because I was all fucked up, and he wanted to take me to the first aid tent to make sure I was okay, Gee refused to let him while Gee was trying to grab me again, Frank punched him and noted that he was acting like he was drinking again. After another brief screaming match, Mikey finally got Brian and I out of there, and me to the first aid tent... I had a minor concussion..." I finished.

"Wow... So Gee's to a point of physically harming you?" Jimmy asked with concern.

"Yeah," I said with a nod that he obviously couldn't see.

"It does sound like he's drinking again sweetie, and was worse is I don't really like the idea of you hanging around there when he's like that... So, if it keeps up, just say the word and I'll come get you, you can spend the summer dodging bananas propelled by prostitutes with me in Bankok," he smiled.

"What?" I laughed.

"I'll explain that another time... Anyhow, I'm serious though... You always have a place with us, you know that right?"

"Yeah," I said honestly. "But I'm staying with Adam right now and I want to see where this thing between Brian and I is going to go..." I explained.

"That's fine, but I'm one phone call away if you need anything," he promise.

"Thanks, Jimmy."

"No problem... Oh, and as far as Gee's drinking goes... Talk to Mikey about what to do together to help him... However, don't confront him until you have solid proof... Because there's a chance it could be stress or depression again, it seems really unlikely, but there's a chance. Get proof, then talk to Mikey about telling your parents... It sounds stupid, but since Gee and your mom are so close, and she holds so much faith in his sobriety, her dissappointment will affect him... Will help him and moms alway know what to do... Try an keep it from the public, yes... the media's frenzy might also make him realize he's being an idiot, but there are so many kids that idolize the fact that he's remained sober... There are kids that got sober after being inspired by him, if the public gets wind of his relapse, it could affect more than Gerard... It could affect the kids... So just try and keep it quiet, Bonnie," he explained.

See, he always has the answers.

"Thanks Jimmy," I said honestly. "For listening to me, and for helping me out."

"No problem, Ash. I love ya kiddo," he smiled.

"I love you too, and we need to hang out when we're both home," I explained.

"Yes, we do! I miss you..." he said honestly. "But right now, I miss sleep, we have an interview in three hours and I need to get some..."

I laughed, "Alright, bye Jimmy!"

"Bye babe!"

I smiled and hung up the phone, ready to find Mikey.