Nancy Boy
Protect Me From What I Want
I didn’t really want to go to Adam’s bus... Not at that moment at least. I didn’t want to deal with interrogations.
So instead, I began walking around aimlessly. There were woods bordering the parking lot, next to the venue space. I began walking along the edge of the wood, my feet crunching upon the dead, dried leaves.
The late hour, or early (depending on how you looked at it) was starting to hit me; I gave a lengthy yawn before sitting on a stump resting on the outskirts of the woodlands, pulling my knees into my chest in a comfortable manner.
I sat there alone for about a half hour thinking, and before I knew it, I was singing softly, something not rare for me to do. I normally started singing when I was upset, it was easier to convey my buzzing thoughts into lyrics than to try and fit my emotions into words. “ They rise above this, they cry about this, as we live and learn.. A broken promise, I was not honest, now I watch as tables turn, and you're singing - I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn, I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. I'll cry about this, and hide my cuckold eyes, as you come off all concerned, and I'll find no solace, in your poor apology, in your regret that sounds absurd. And keep singing - I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn.. And I'll wait my turn, to terrorize you, watch you burn.. And I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. And this is a promise - Promise is a promise, promise is a promise, promise is a promise. And I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn. I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. A broken promise, you were not honest! I'll bide my time, I'll wait my turn...” I said, finishing the song just as soft as I had started it, which was nearly a whisper, my cheeks damp with tears.
“I think you sing that better than I do...” someone said in an unsure whisper, as if they were afraid to penetrate the private silence I was observing.
I looked over my shoulder at Brian, trying to look like I hadn’t been crying, though I think the sniffle gave it away, “You really pick the most awkward times to pop out of no where, don’t you?”
He shrugged slightly, “I suppose it’s a gift...” After a moment of grueling silence, he draped one of his arms around my shoulder and scooted closer to me in a comforting manner. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered.
I don’t know, but that struck me... The way he assured me, instead of asking ‘are you alright’ before hand, which is what most people do when they know something is wrong. It was something subtle that, for some reason, had always irked me. If someone’s crying, of course something’s wrong... and he got that.
I wrapped both my arms around him and rested my head on his chest, taking a deep breath. “Eventually,” I said in a soft shaky tone, “probably... but, that does nothing for the moment.”
“I know,” he said with a whisper and nod, staring at me in an odd manner... Like he was stunned by something, or like I’d just slapped him in the face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked raising a brow, concerned that I had done something I shouldn’t have.
“I...” he looked away, as if pondering something, while at the same time, looking very confused. “Fuck...” He then continued to mumble something under his breath, and... I swear it sounded like a lyric from one of his songs... Protect me from what I want...
“Brian... I---”
“What would you do if I kissed you... right now...” he asked quickly cutting me off as if otherwise, he wouldn’t have the nerve to ask.
I sat there stunned, the man was fifteen years older than me! What did he expect me to say? He was in high school before I was even born! He—
Am I fooling anyone?No, seriously... Did anyone buy that?
“I’d...kiss you back,” I confessed, wishing I could’ve said something more intelligent, more poetic...
And yet, as his soft lips collided with mine in an eruption of desire... and as the warmth deepened while our hands caressed each other’s faces in an affectionate manner, or perhaps a way to keep each other in the moment forever...
As our tongues collided and we kissed, plain and simple...
It was pure poetry, delicately rendered to the finest degree...
[A/N: I love how this chapter turned out...]
So instead, I began walking around aimlessly. There were woods bordering the parking lot, next to the venue space. I began walking along the edge of the wood, my feet crunching upon the dead, dried leaves.
The late hour, or early (depending on how you looked at it) was starting to hit me; I gave a lengthy yawn before sitting on a stump resting on the outskirts of the woodlands, pulling my knees into my chest in a comfortable manner.
I sat there alone for about a half hour thinking, and before I knew it, I was singing softly, something not rare for me to do. I normally started singing when I was upset, it was easier to convey my buzzing thoughts into lyrics than to try and fit my emotions into words. “ They rise above this, they cry about this, as we live and learn.. A broken promise, I was not honest, now I watch as tables turn, and you're singing - I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn, I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. I'll cry about this, and hide my cuckold eyes, as you come off all concerned, and I'll find no solace, in your poor apology, in your regret that sounds absurd. And keep singing - I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn.. And I'll wait my turn, to terrorize you, watch you burn.. And I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. And this is a promise - Promise is a promise, promise is a promise, promise is a promise. And I'll wait my turn, to tear inside you, watch you burn. I'll wait my turn, I'll wait my turn. A broken promise, you were not honest! I'll bide my time, I'll wait my turn...” I said, finishing the song just as soft as I had started it, which was nearly a whisper, my cheeks damp with tears.
“I think you sing that better than I do...” someone said in an unsure whisper, as if they were afraid to penetrate the private silence I was observing.
I looked over my shoulder at Brian, trying to look like I hadn’t been crying, though I think the sniffle gave it away, “You really pick the most awkward times to pop out of no where, don’t you?”
He shrugged slightly, “I suppose it’s a gift...” After a moment of grueling silence, he draped one of his arms around my shoulder and scooted closer to me in a comforting manner. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered.
I don’t know, but that struck me... The way he assured me, instead of asking ‘are you alright’ before hand, which is what most people do when they know something is wrong. It was something subtle that, for some reason, had always irked me. If someone’s crying, of course something’s wrong... and he got that.
I wrapped both my arms around him and rested my head on his chest, taking a deep breath. “Eventually,” I said in a soft shaky tone, “probably... but, that does nothing for the moment.”
“I know,” he said with a whisper and nod, staring at me in an odd manner... Like he was stunned by something, or like I’d just slapped him in the face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked raising a brow, concerned that I had done something I shouldn’t have.
“I...” he looked away, as if pondering something, while at the same time, looking very confused. “Fuck...” He then continued to mumble something under his breath, and... I swear it sounded like a lyric from one of his songs... Protect me from what I want...
“Brian... I---”
“What would you do if I kissed you... right now...” he asked quickly cutting me off as if otherwise, he wouldn’t have the nerve to ask.
I sat there stunned, the man was fifteen years older than me! What did he expect me to say? He was in high school before I was even born! He—
Am I fooling anyone?No, seriously... Did anyone buy that?
“I’d...kiss you back,” I confessed, wishing I could’ve said something more intelligent, more poetic...
And yet, as his soft lips collided with mine in an eruption of desire... and as the warmth deepened while our hands caressed each other’s faces in an affectionate manner, or perhaps a way to keep each other in the moment forever...
As our tongues collided and we kissed, plain and simple...
It was pure poetry, delicately rendered to the finest degree...
[A/N: I love how this chapter turned out...]