Better Off Dead Than Alive In Here

My name is Lily Marie Andrews, I am 18 years old, and I live in the Hoffmen Estates.

No, I don't live in a mansion. I live in the smallest house in the city. No joke, I actually checked every house one day and they were all bigger than mine. One of our great ancestors bought the land a long time ago. It was passed down from generation to generation. We inherited it from my Grandpa who passed away before I was born. The mortgage had been long past paid. That makes my Mom and Dad's life a little bit easier.

Mom and Dad both work. Mom is a kindergarten teacher and Dad is a Mechanic. Even though they both work it is barley enough to get by here.

I go to school at Barrington Country Day High School. Yes, most of the rich kids go to school there, but I got a full scholarship there. I would have gone to Barrington Public, but my dad insisted on me going to BCD. I had probably gotten a better education there so far than going to BPHS.

In the social department I probably would've been better at BPHS. All of the people at BCD were either very very smart and geeky or their parents were loaded and couldn't STAND for their kids to go to a *public* school. I was neither.

Well I was smart, but I didn't wear glasses or a pocket protector. I don't watch Star Wars or talk about the square root of pie in my spare time.

I did live in the area, but I live in a house the size of some of these kids garages. I wore skinny jeans and converse almost everyday instead of the normal skirt and tank top. They have money on their side... I don't.

So that brings us to now. It's The fifth day of summer and I fully intend to enjoy it by relaxing all day. That is until my mom found me a job.

"Lily Marie! Get your shoes and cell, were going somewhere," my mom shouted up the stairs.
I just rolled my eyes and grabbed my shoes. It's best to always just do what my mom says because half of the time I benefit from it.

Once we were outside I jumped in the car. Mom smiled and kept walking towards the Beckett's driveway. I jumped back out and followed my mom.

I asked her curiously, "Mom, why are we going to the Beckett's house?"

She smiled slowly and said, "You will see in time Lily Marie."

We kept on walking. I have no problem's with any of the of the Beckett except their middle child.
William Beckett was the sole reason I hated school. Every since the first day of Frosh year he has found ways to torture me. From tripping me in the hall to taping a "kiss me!" sign to my back he's done it all and more. If he wasn't at BCD I don't think kids would have minded me as much. I don't speak unless they talk to me or to help them with their homework.

William just happened to see my Blink-182 shirt the first day of school. Apparently Bill doesn't like Blink so he threw an open packet of ranch at me. I didn't cry. I didn't frown. I knew that something like this would happen, so I kept a straight face, wiped the ranch off of my shirt, and went to go change into a New Found Glory shirt.

That was the basic routine. Straight face was always the first and foremost thing. After I did the proper things to leave I would walk away.

I knew that this year was going to be hell though. Will had never made me cry and that was his goal for my torture. He almost made me cry at the end of the year when he told everyone that I cut myself. I thought I was going to breakdown then and their.

You see, at the beginning of that month my only cousin had died from a heart disease. She was a month old. I was so depressed that missed a week of school. I couldn't understand how some people would give up their lives willingly when people who want to live can't. But just like any other time I kept a straight face and walked out of the room. I ran straight to the bathroom and silently let the tears just roll down my face. I sat there for a good 10 minutes before I got up and washed off my face. I only wore make up on special occasions, so I had no black lines down my face.

I decided to skip biology that day. I needed time to think and I knew Mr. Fernat wouldn't mind. He was my favorite teacher and he also knew everything that happened in the school. He would always put William and his "Crew" in their place after a particularly bad prank. I told Mr. F what happened with William after school. He was furious. He wanted William suspended or expelled, but I knew that would get me in a lot of shit from his "Crew", so I asked him to keep it under wraps. We talked it over and he agreed. I hadn't seen William after that day. I was glad about that too, because if I did I would probably breakdown and cry right there in front of him.

The rest of the Beckett family are very nice. Bob is the oldest. He was always nice to me wherever we were. He is off at Brown now studying to become a doctor, so I occasionally see him on his breaks.

Anna is the youngest. She is in sixth grade, but I have babysat her since kindergarten. She is one of the best kids I have ever met. She is kind to everyone, and doesn't care about money or social standing. When I babysit her... Well it is more like driving us around town doing fun things, but it is a job no less. In return Mrs. Beckett lets me ride horses at their stable.

The Beckett family have 6 horses, Cowboy for Mr. Beckett, Delilah for Mrs. Beckett, Razz for Bob, Trinidad for William, Mariah for Anna, and Montana for visitors. I ride Montana almost everyday before or after school. She is a VERY stubborn horse. I don't think anyone likes her besides myself in fact. We can't let anyone besides Pete and I ride her. Anna and I tried to switch horses once. Montana almost bucked Anna off, so we stick with our own horses now.
Most days Anna and I just hang out at the stables or she watches me do my jumps on Montana. Let's just say my riding boots are always with me.

I hoped this summer wouldn't be too bad. William and his friends would be spending their summer at the Beckett's Country Club.

Yeah, the Beckett's own the club. That's where they keep the rest of the horses. They have 24 of these "public" horses. The Beckett's own King, Queenie, Joker, Red Ribbon, Ed, Legend, Secret, Lucky, Hayley, Willy, Eddie, Tequila, Flame, Amber, Andrew, Milkshake, Cody, Thomas, Cirocco, Chino, Meghan, Prairie, Blackjack, and Carly. I don't ride them very much, but I have saddled them up for people many times. I knew all of the horses in the club by name, what they liked, or what to stay away from.

Finally we reached the Beckett mansion. My mom rang the doorbell. We waited about three seconds before Anna yanked the door open. She said hello to my mom and gave her a hug first. She ran to me after and also gave me a hug.

"They are all here. Stay away from the stables," I nodded and gave her a thankful smile.

"Ah, Elizabeth and Lily Marie! How wonderful to see you both! Anna, why don't you take Lily Marie out to the stables, I think William is out there with the boys. Gosh knows what they are doing to those poor horses. Elizabeth and I will be out on the patio." Mrs. Beckett said, leading my mom out to the patio. Mrs. Beckett was always very nice, but she put me in awkward positions frequently... and I frequently felt awkward about it! What a coincident!

"They are out there being lazy," Anna said with a sorry smile. "William got Cody, Cowboy, Trinidad, Razz and Delilah out, but he can't saddle them up... Can we pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, please go show them up?"

She was using her super powered puppy dog eyes one me, the ones she knows I can't resist.

"Anna," I said. "I don't know, I mean I don't have my boots or jeans..."

"Liar!" She said, cutting me off. " You have jeans in your locker, and you left your boots here yesterday. All settled, now let's go!" She grabbed my hand and started to pull me to the barn.
When we finally got to the barn Anna let go of my hand. We stared in awe at the sight before us.

William was trying to saddle up Trinidad. Adam Siska was trying to grab Cowboy's saddle, but not the blanket. Mike Carden was standing in front of Razz's butt. Michael Chislett was smashed in between Razz and Delilah. Finally Andy Mrotek was being sensible and sitting on the bleachers outside of the stables.

I told Anna to go sit by Andy. She did, then I got to work. First, I pushed Razz off of Michael. He slid out of the space deeply breathing. I pointed him to the bleachers with Andy and Anna. After he was sitting down I saddled up Delilah and Cody. They were my other two favorites. They neighed when I had finished and had given them a little rub.The next problem was Razz and Mike. I tapped Razz's butt lightly to let him know I was there. He nodded in recognition. I pointed Mike to the bleachers before saddling up Razz. When I was finished with Razz I grabbed Cowboy's saddle blanket. Andy saw me and gratefully gave me the saddle. He walked over to the bleachers without any direction. I fixed up Cowboy then went to William. He was desperately trying to saddle up Trinidad, but Trinidad was having none of it.

Sighing, I walked up to Trinidad, grabbed her halter, and said, "Listen up. You're going to stay still until I finish saddling you. Got it?" He stopped moving at once.

I gently gave William a push to the bleachers.

While I was saddling up Trinidad I called out to Anna, "Anna, could you please go grab the feed, my lead ropes and your helmet? You can saddle Mariah whenever you're ready,"

Anna brought the stuff out after I finished saddling Montana. I grabbed the wheelbarrow of feed and took two scoops full to Razz and Delilah. I had a "special moment" with them them both before doing the same with Cody, Cowboy, Trinidad, and Mariah.

I got to Montana and told her sternly, "We are following today, so be cool. No bucks, or no arena for a week. Got it? Awesome."

I attached her lead rope then walked back over to the group.

"Anna, Mariah is ready for safety demo when you are, and you are leading, so put on a lead rope," I said, while grabbing my jeans and boots.

I quickly went into the bathroom and changed. I got out and walked up to the group again. Anna had Mariah all set up and ready to go, so I started in on the explanation.

"When we are ready to go wait in the center of the stable until I come and help you..." I continued the demo for about 7 minutes with Anna showing them everything on the horse.

Once the demo was done I told Anna to take the Pink route to Prairie One's arena. I had finally gotten this routine down yesterday, and I wanted to show Anna. She trotted off to the gate leading out to the prairie.

"Alright Carden!" I said. He walked over to Razz when I called his name.

"This is Razz, he is a boy. He will want to run when you get off of him, so just let me hook him back up. Other than that Razz is cool," I told Mike the directions while fixing his stirrups. I unhooked his halter and led him to the gate.

"Chislett!" I called.

He jumped off of the bleachers and walked over to Dehlilia. He got up on he saddle and stared down at me. I didn't look up while I unhooked her.

"This is Dehlilia. She is a girl. She pretty much just goes with what everyone else is doing so you'll be fine," By the time I had told him what he needed to know he was out near the gate.

Adam was already over by me when I called his name. He had chosen to ride Cowboy. I told him that Cowboy is first, so he should go behind Anna. I led him out and started the line up.

Cowboy and Skika went out first, Dehlilia and Chislett second, and Carden and Razz third.
I called out for Andy Mrotek. He got up on to Cody with ease. I fixed his saddle and brought him out to the others.

I took a deep breath before turning around, getting ready to help William. I didn't expect to see him already up on Trinidad, leading him in between Cowboy and Razz. Both the horse and the man loved to be the closest to first as possible. William gave me a smirk before telling something to Adam in front of him.

I shook my head and shouted to Anna, "Let's start out!"

Anna started to walk and the horses fell in line behind her. It was Cowboy, Trinidad, Dehlilia, Razz, and Cody Once they were all out of the gate I gave Anna the hold up sign. She stopped the line, while I ran over to Montana. I unhooked her halter and steadied her. I got up on to her and gave Anna the start up sign once again.

The line slowly moved out to the prairie. Anna was at the front talking to Adam and William and I was in the back by Andy and Mike Carden.

I was in a little thinking bubble until Andy popped it.

"How do you do all of that? With the horses, I mean. " he asked me.

I was surprised. He had never actually talked to me before. He was always the one who kept a distance from William when the whole harassing thing was going on. He didn't get on Williams side, but he didn't stand up for me either. I decided to give him a chance and tell him the truth.
"I have babysat Anna for a while now. I had already known how to ride from books and visiting my grandma's ranch before she died. When Anna wanted to come here we got attached to the place. We started to come by here almost everyday to ride or groom. We made friends with the head of the barn, Pete. He taught me everything about the horses I didn't know already and now I help out whenever I can... and Anna always wants to tag along." I added loud enough for her to hear.

"I heard that!" Anna fake accused and I smiled.

"So why do you pick that horse? I heard she isn't the nicest horse..." Mike said.

I sighed, Montana and I had a hard relationship to explain. "Every time we came here I would ride Montana because... well, basically she was the only horse left to ride. She grew on me, for some unknown reason. She is stubborn as hell, always eats grass, and can't tell the difference between left and right. I basically claimed her, because she won't listen to anyone beside Pete and me, but Pete has Dale so its usually Montana and I."

Michael Chisslet turned around and said, "I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk."

I gave him a sad smile, "Maybe if I had the chance to talk you may have already heard that."

We were finally nearing the arena when I trotted up to Anna and whispered to her quietly, "Take them back and put everything away, then come back here. I'm going to practice and then I'll show you the routine. Quickly, please."

Anna nodded and started to lead everyone away until William said, "No, I want to see this. She's all you ever talk about Anna, so let's see if she lives up to the hype."

"Hook them up Anna, I'm going to get ready." I looked at William the whole time, that little son of a...