Jizz In My Pants

"Yeah, I had to get the stains out if I ever wanted to keep this thing." Alex waited for the group to catch on. But no one did. "Guys, my mom gave me the van! We have our own rides now!" Once the realization hit them, everyone started cheering and howling. The gang had been depending on their parents for rides and the girls still hadn't gotten their own cars yet. This meant that they could now go anywhere, anytime. Laura seemed really excited. "And I have just decided that we're going on a road trip. Cross country. No plans. We leave today."

The cheering started up again. These naked teens thought a road trip was the best idea ever. But, being the most level headed of the group, Laura spoke up. "Uhm, shouldn't we at least plan this out a little bit? I mean, we need clothes, and money, and at least some idea of where we're going! And why today?"

Rian took the liberty of explaining. "None of us have any real plans for the summer. If we all pitch in, we'll have enough money for food and stuff. We all have saved up money from our gigs. And plus, Zack's fucking loaded, so that helps." Zack laughed and shook his head. He didn't really like being called out on the fact that his family was filthy rich, but it didn't really matter. "And if we hitch up the trailer and bring out instruments, we can make money on the road. Worst case scenario, we have to sell Jack on the streets as a male prostitute."

"No! I'm in a committed relationship! I can't be a prostitute!" Jack held on tightly to Anna to prove his point. He looked really worried.

"What the fuck? You guys have only known each other for two days! Since when are you committed?" Laura stared wide eyed at Anna and Jack. She didn't understand how two people could be so serious so soon.

"We're in love, Laura! Don't judge!" Anna scoffed and stuck up her nose. Jack lightly kissed her lips and nodded his head in agreement.

"Please. You're in love with his body, mainly his dick. There's no way you're in love." Even Alex, a notorious hoe, agreed that no one could fall in love so fast. Jack seemed appalled.

"I for one am shocked! What makes you say that?" Jack glared at Alex with anger. How dare he question his love!

"What's her last name?" Zack smiled wide, knowing he just powned Jack.

"It will soon be Barakat, because we're getting married. So THERE!" He stuck his tongue out at Alex as he drove to Rian's house. Anna looked pleased with his answer, not concerned that he didn't even know her last name. The rest of the group just shook their heads and let the topic go. If they wanted to fuck up their lives, they would let them.

Alex pulled into Rian's driveway and dropped him off so he could pack. Then, he went to everyone else's house to drop them off. The plan was, everyone was going to pack, tell their parents about the road trip, escape execution by them, and get picked up about two hours later. Alex was most nervous about everyone telling their parents about the road trip. He knew that everyone would legally be able to go, for they were all eighteen. He knew that when they missed graduation, their diplomas would just be sent in the mail. What scared him, though, was the reaction of everyone's parents. It could potentially go really bad. He let the thought marinate as he pulled into his driveway. This was probably going to be the last time he entered his house for a while.

As soon as he walked in, he smelled smoke. "Mom? Mom! Are you okay?"

"THE CAT'S ON FIRE!" Mrs. Gaskarth was running around the house holding the cat by its tail. Sure enough, it was a meowing fireball. "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?"

He breathed out heavily and put his palm to his face. "Mom, put it in the sink and put the fire out." He couldn't even believe the latest predicament his mom had gotten herself into. Last week, she called 911 to test the police on how fast their reaction time was and got arrested. Not because she falsified a police report, but because they found pot in her room. Alex had to post her bail.

"OH... Right..." She then proceeded to throw the cat in the sink and spray it with the hose. After the fireball of a cat was put out, it hissed at her, scratched Alex in the face, and jumped out the window, never to be seen again. "Well that was interesting!"

Alex cursed under his breath and rubbed the place where the feisty feline had scratched him. "Mom, how did you manage to light the cat on fire?"

She pursed her lips and looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Well, one minute I was praying to the sun god by lighting candles on the floor, and the next, the damn cat is on fire!"

Alex just groaned and went to his room, throwing in random stuff in his big duffel bag and getting his guitars. He shouted from his room, "Mom, I'm going on a road trip. I'll be gone for a long time."

"Oh, really? Well, have fun my son. Beware of the flying monkeys on the road!" Alex's eyes went wide at the fact that his mom didn't really give two shits that he was about to leave. He took this as a blessing from above and ran out of the house with his stuff in hand.

"Bye mom! See you later!" With that, he ran right to the trailer in the side yard. After putting all of his stuff in there, he hitched it up to the mini van and took off for Rian's. He hoped that things had gone equally well with him.

When he got there, Rian was already int he front yard with all of his stuff. "You wouldn't believe what just happened. I walk inside, and my dad has a dead hooker on the kitchen table. He said I had to pack up my stuff and leave, because the police were hot on the trail or something. He doesn't even know about the road trip."

Alex laughed and motioned for Rian to load his stuff in the trailer. "Well, that sure as hell beats my story. My mom lit my cat on fire and told me to watch out for flying monkeys on the road."

Rian was silent for a moment as he got his stuff in the back. Then he came right in the passenger seat. "What the hell?"

"I don't even know. She was probably high." As Alex pulled out of Rian's driveway, Rian was left puzzled as to their parents behavior. But he decided that it was better not to question and played along.

They pulled up to Jack's house next. He came out of the house with his backpack and guitar case, smiling all the way. "Woohoo! Let's go!"

Rian laughed as he loaded up. "Why are you so happy? What did your parents say?"

"My mom's just happy that I met a girl and made friends. She's crying with motherly joy right now and wants me to come back only if I have grandchildren." They all burst into laughter and Jack climbed into the middle seat. "Onward to Anna-Banana's house!"

Anna was sitting on her front lawn with her bag of clothes and other stuff. When they pulled up, she quickly stashed her stuff in the trailer and hopped in next to Jack. "My parents aren't home. I left them a note."

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Works."

Next, they went to Laura's house, which was only a few blocks from Anna's. She hauled ass from her front porch to inside the van not even bothering to store her stuff. "STEP ON IT, SKANK!"

Alex looked slightly terrified as Laura's dad came out of the house wielding a knife. "SHIT! We're going!" The van sped off down the road, leaving Laura's dad screaming at them from a distance. "What the fuck was that about?"

Laura tried to catch her breath as she explained. "Well, uhm, I told him I was leaving. He said no. I told him to fuck off and I could do whatever I wanted. He tried to kill me. Does that explanation suffice?"

Silence washed over the car, everyone completely shocked that her dad would go to such measures. In the end, they were all happy that she was with them, but they hated that she ruined her relationship with her father. Last to pick up was Zack. He was quick to load up his bass and bag into the trailer and get in the back seat with Laura. "Hey guys! Are we ready for a kick ass road trip or what?"

Alex, thankful the tension in the car was broken, shouted back a "HELL YES!"

Rian cleared his throat. "So, what did your folks say?"

Zack shrugged his shoulders. "They told me to use protection and gave me five thousand dollars for the road. I can't believe they didn't try to kill me or something." As Zack laughed, Laura shuddered and the whole van fell into another eerie silence. "What, was it something I said?"

Laura wiped the stray tear from the corner of her eye. "Just forget it. Let's go."

With that, the van veered onto the highway without a clue as to where they were going. So far, this trip was off to a very awkward and guilt filled start.