Did We All Fall Down, Well After All

::Gerard's POV::

Mikey had managed to make me stop crying. He was good that way. It's been a little over an hour over since I've seen Hannah. It was hard to look at her. Although I hated to admit it, she was part of the reason I was like this. I still loved her, it was just hard for me to watch all of the things she had and was going through. But what I did not understand was why I was like this and she wasn't. I looked over at Mikey and it hit me.

"She's stronger than I am. I'm weak. I'm nothing." He came and sat by my side again.

"Do you not remember all of the people that love you? People you don't even know? You've read the letters and emails they've sent us. You're not nothing. You are strong like she is. You're just older and more aware of everything. Hannah will come to realization of just how bad her life has been, then she'll be in the same state as you."

"MIKEY, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!" I felt more tears coming on. "I don't want her to have to go through this!"

"I'm surprised she hasn't already. Look, when it comes we'll know how to handle it. She probably just has to see what an average teenager's life is like so she'll have something to compare it to."

"Mikey, I don't want her to be like me!" I cried. My hands reached for the bottle that he had left. He didn't move. He just watched as I put the orange tablet into my mouth and swallowed, along with a now cold gulp of coffee. I heard Mikey sigh. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"When did you start doing this again?"

"Almost a week ago." His gaze fell down to his lap. I knew what he was thinking. "We're not going to cancel any shows. I'll be fine."

"No you won't! You won't be fine until you quit this. And what about Hannah? What if all of that realization finally does hit her, and you're still on this shit and she starts using it too!" I stared into his eyes through my blurred ones.

"She's stronger than I am."

::Hannah's POV::

I had been trying to make myself fall asleep for half an hour. I wanted to sleep. I wanted all of this to go away. Maybe if I fell asleep and woke up, it'll all turn out to be a dream. No, not a dream. A nightmare.

"Hannah," Bob tapped my shoulder lightly, as not to disturb me as much as possible.

"Hmm?"

"Alicia's on the phone. She wants to talk to you." I took Bob's phone and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?" I called into the device.

"Hi, sweetie. How're you holding up?"

"I'm not. I want to sleep through all of this."

"I know it must be tough on you right now. Just hang in there. Gerard will pull through." How come I didn't believe her?

"Alright. Do you think I can go back and sleep in my room?"

"I'm guessing Gerard and Mikey are in there. They should be fine with it."

"'Kay. I'll talk to you later then."

"Got it. Bye, Hannah."

"Bye." I shut the phone and handed it back to Bob. "I'm going back to my room," I told them, getting up from the uncomfortable spot on Ray's bed.

"But what abo-"

"I don't care. If there's a show tonight, I won't see you 'til after it. So, night."

"Goodnight." I shut the door behind me and walked in the opposite direction towards my room. It didn't matter to me if Mikey was still trying to fix Dad. Even if he was. . . . I don't want to say drug addict. . . . he was still my father. I still felt safe around him, no matter what state he was in. My fist tapped the wood frame of the door. Uncle Mikey answered. "Can I come in? I want to go to sleep."

"Um. . . sure." I walked in, glancing over at Dad watching television, and went straight to my bed and over the covers, falling into a quick, easy, deep sleep.

::Gerard's POV::

I watched her walk past me and fall down onto the bed, pulling the sheets up over her head. Mikey walked over and examined her.

"She's asleep."

"Must have been tired. Her birthday's in two days."

"I know. I don't want her to be in a bad mood around her birthday."

"Especially her first real birthday." I glanced at the clock. "We should start getting ready for the show."

"But what about Hannah?"

"We'll leave her here. She should be fine alone for a couple of hours." I got up and went over to kiss the top of her head. Mikey started to write a note telling her when we'd be back. "Sweet dreams."

::A Few Hours Later::

We were on 'I Don't Love You'. I had been praying for a slow song since the concert started. My head was pounding to the beat of my pulse and I knew that when 'Mama' came around, I'd be dead. Or, at least, feel like it. I looked back at Mikey during the middle of the song. He was concentrating too much on his finger placement to notice me. I looked to my left and right where Ray and Frank were standing. Frank looked over and back to the crowd, as if he didn't notice me either.

Before the show when I had told them that I wanted to continue touring, all of them spoke out against me. They believed that if we continued the shows, it would only make everything worse. By the look on Mikey's face, he agreed with them. But canceling shows was out of the question. I would not let that many people down. They needed me, and I needed them. My thoughts stopped and I finished the last line of the song.

"I Don't Love You Like I Loved You Yesterday!!!"

::Hannah's POV::

My eyes meet with the light from the digital clock on the side of the bed, the only light source in the room. 9:45. The note that they had left said they'd be back around midnight. I had a few hours to myself, or maybe not.

There was a knock at the door. Who could that be? I rubbed my eyes and got out of bed to get it. As soon as I opened it, a smile flew onto my face.

"I didn’t know you were coming!"