The Never Coming True Dream

~*~ Danny's Point Of View ~*~

My phone buzzed as we got back into the car. Marie was talking about something but my head wasn't letting any of it in. I stared at my phone saying '1 new message' but placed it back in my pocket, not wanting Marie to see whatever it said.

"So baby, why did you ask that freak to help you today??" Marie's words burst through my head,

I turned and just shrugged. I couldn't be bothered to talk to her...why did I ever get stuck with her as my girlfriend anyway?? It's not the fact she has money, because I already have plenty of that, I just don't know why I'd want to be together with someone like her anymore. I did think once that I loved her, that she was my one and only...and I feel stupid now for letting her get what she wanted, the one thing that made me who I was. I'm never going to get that back, but I was so worried after when she was on the phone to her friend, telling her who she'd 'been' with...I ran straight to the doctor to check myself out.
I know that most likely sounds awful, but the thing is...she really wasn't all that good anyway. I know it was my first time with a girl in that way, but she really wasn't good at all.
She tried to sound like she liked it, trying to be all 'moan here, giggle here' but it just didn't work. I can't believe I let that happen. I wish I had waited...
We were coming up to my road and for once I couldn't wait to be home. I wanted to read that text, I needed to read it. The car soon stopped and I rushed out, not giving Marie the kiss on the cheek I always have to give her, I could here her gasp from my front door,

"Danny! Danny!" she called, I just pushed the door open and slammed it.

I can't stand that girl. She always wants wants wants, always takes...but never gives.
I greeted my mum quickly then dashed into my room and locked the door behind me. Dropping my bag against my computer chair and jumping onto my bed, the quilt and pillows smelling lovely as my mum had just changed the sheets.
My mum helped alot of the time, she was there for me when I went and checked myself out from Marie, she was there for me when my dad died so long ago...yet I could never remember how he died, I just know he died and after the funeral I felt so much better.
He was a drunk maniac, always drank and drank, he lost it once at me and I had to take 3 months off school for broken bones. The one thing I'll never ever forgive him for, was when he grabbed hold of my baby sister, held her out the window when she was crying, and...dropped her.
I curled into a ball, just remembering the way my mum looked, the way everything changed colour when I had got home from school, and no one being home. Me walking up the stairs and finding an empty cot...I'll never forgive him for that, never!

"Darling, are you ok??" my mum called through the door,

before I could answer she was in my room, huddling me into a ball. I didn't realise I was crying in buckets until she started rocking me and drying my eyes,

"I...I remembered Him...what he did..." I stuttered out,

I felt her body tense and then hold onto me more tightly. My mum was the best person to have when you needed someone there. She'd always make your favourite meal on your lowest days, always help you with homework, sort your room out when it needed it. She was the bestest mum ever, and I was so grateful for her being my mum.
After a while, I stopped crying and she went downstairs to cook dinner. That's when I remembered the text on my phone. I grabbed it from the floor, as I had somehow pushed it off my bed and clicked 'read'

'Hey it's Evangline...I just thought I'd text you as you don't have my number and yeah...erm if your worrying about the whole thing behind school then I'm sorry. I really should have left you to walk away, I'm sure you don't want to talk to me again, and you don't have too. I'm the freak as Maire always says so you don't have to reply back. I'm sorry if Marie asked you about everything that happened...I should have left you to go on with her, I just saw the tear fall down and I acted without thinking...I've never kissed a guy like that before, and I'm not saying it was bad...it really wasn't. But I know it was wrong so I thought I'd just say you don't have to talk to me ever again...I'm sure Marie is there with you, so I better stop talking or she'll know and make everything more worse...but sorry again...Eva x'

I felt a tear fall down my cheek. My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to fall out of my chest...I pressed 'reply' but just stared at the blank screen, I couldn't put words together to make a text reply...
All through the day I stared at my phone, I couldn't pull myself to reply back...no words would form into the right way for a reply,

"Whats wrong with your phone darling??" my mum asked when we were at the dinner table,

"Oh, just don't know how to reply to someone..." I moved the food around my plate, not feeling hungry at all,

"Oh, well just listen to your mind and your heart on what to say..." she stopped and looked at my still full plate, "Want to eat that later on darling??"

I just nodded, took hold of the plate and walked into the kitchen. Leaving the plate on the counter and to then walk up the stairs and back into my room.
My mum's words ran through my head, and yet I still didn't know what to say. I plugged my ipod into it's stand and blared outmy music, 'Muse - SuperMassive BlackHole' rushing through my room. I sat on my bed and just let the music hit me, maybe if I sat here long enough my mind would come up with the perfect plan.