Everyone Pretends They're Happy

Once I’d said yes to Garrett he couldn’t keep the smile from his face, so naturally everyone found out why he was so happy. It didn’t mean Kennedy could get off lightly from forgetting to pick me up, Garrett had a go at him for that, but everything was fine after that, I couldn’t have felt happier.
My mom called that night also, to ask how things between Garrett and I had gone. She told me she approved and that he seemed like a lovely young man with a sensible attitude. She’d obviously told my dad about it and wanted to meet Garrett…but things were far too early to do that.
I thought I’d be relaxed and happy about being in a relationship, but I just felt pressured, because I knew Garrett would want to know about my past one day and I’d have to open up. It’s not as if I’d killed someone and I was trying to run away and hide it, I just held no respect or love for New York or the people in it anymore and it kills me to talk about.
I tossed and turned that night, panicking about how my relationship would progress and if the same thing would happen to me again, but I tried my best to push it aside and ignore the voice in my head telling me Garrett was the same as Tyler.
I got up earlier than usual since I couldn’t sleep and had a shower and got myself dressed. I didn’t want to stay in bed when I knew I couldn’t sleep, I’d just begin to irritate myself. When I walked downstairs I could hear the TV but the volume was quite low. I entered the living room to see Pat curled up asleep on the sofa. I turned off the TV and tiptoed into the kitchen to make some breakfast.
‘‘Can I have what you’re having?’’ I heard a voice from behind me. I jumped and turned to see Pat rubbing his eyes and smiling.
‘‘Sure.’’ I replied, calming my heart down to a normal pace and grabbed two bowls from one of the cupboards. I poured in some cereal and milk and sat down at the table, Pat soon joining me. ‘‘Why’d you sleep down here?’’ I asked him, then ate a spoonful of cereal.
He shrugged. ‘‘Sometimes I just do. Even though I was sick of Harriet most days, I’d sleep in her bed or we’d sit down here and watch TV and fall asleep. I do miss her company sometimes.’’ He told me. I felt a little bad to be honest. I’d helped them get rid of her quicker, not realising how it could affect Pat…but Jared did tell me they weren’t really best friends. ‘‘You going to college today?’’ Pat asked me, a mouthful of cereal.
I chuckled at him and nodded. ‘‘Last day of the week. It seems to have dragged.’’ I told him, finishing up my breakfast and putting the bowl into the sink. I rinsed it out and put it back in its original place. I looked at my watch and then at Pat. ‘‘I’m gonna leave now.’’ I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder.
‘‘You want me to drive you?’’ Pat asked, swallowing his food this time before talking to me.
‘‘No, its fine. I’m leaving this early in case I get lost. I need to learn the route, why not now?’’ I asked, smiling.
He did a salute with his hand and chanted a good luck before eating again. I ruffled his hair as I walked past then left the house.
***
I’d actually found the college pretty damn fast. I sat in the parking lot and waited a while before going in. It was a little too early anyway. My class wasn’t going to start for another hour. As I sat and drummed the steering wheel I noticed a girl sitting on one of the benches under a group of trees that gave most shade. I squinted a little and noticed it was Loretta. She was sitting doodling like she usually did, she seemed lost in her own little world most of the time. I took the keys out of the ignition and jumped out of my car, locking it before walking over to Loretta.
‘‘Hey.’’ I called as I neared her. She jumped and quickly shoved her book into her bag. ‘‘Everything ok?’’ I asked her, taking a seat on the bench.
She nodded weakly. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, I could see a faint red mark on her neck too. ‘‘Everything’s fine.’’ She smiled. I could see how upset she was, though.
‘‘You can talk to me if you want? I’m happy to listen and help.’’ I offered. She shook her head fiercely.
‘‘I cant do that. I cant say anything.’’ She rushed. Now I knew there was defiantly something wrong.
‘‘Loretta, please. Something’s wrong, I want to try and help you.’’ I told her again. I knew we’d only just met but she seemed so upset. I didn’t like seeing people upset. I reached out my hand to touch her arm but she flinched away. ‘‘Do you…does someone…’’ I didn’t know how to word my sentence without sounding like I was accusing someone. ‘‘Is everything ok at home?’’ I asked her. She shot her head up and looked at me. She tried to compose herself as best she could but her face crumpled and she dropped her head into her hands and began to sob.