Chaotic Forbiddance

GERARD’S P.O.V.

“Mikes, jeez, you had to go and beat the kid up? I know he’s an asshole, he was as a first year too, but this is not okay. I do not want you to be some kind of bully who beats on someone just because they hurt you. It’s not right, you have to control your rage.” I had pulled my brother aside after assigning the two miscreants to the same detention as Frank and his co-pranks, I spoke sternly to him because I didn’t want him to be a corrupted person like a lot of the people I knew had become.

“I know it was wrong, but he said that you were a faggot, that Harry was a tosser, and that Fate was obese, which completely isn’t true, but he should get punished for it!” He stated angrily, I sighed and looked deeply into his hazel eyes that were so much like mine, so much like Elena’s… I shook my head to relieve myself of the morbid thoughts, I had to let go of her sometime, I had written a few songs to keep myself from going crazy, it was just like every other time someone died. A piece of me died with them. This time it was the creative spark that had fueled me for years; I don’t think that anyone will be able to rekindle it… Ever.

“Fine, just don’t let it happen again, we’re supposed to be gentlemen, right?” I briefly reminisced about Elena teaching us to be polite and dignified, memories of her instructing me on how to draw unwillingly filled my mind. If I had trouble even looking at myself in the mirror without being reminded of the young man that the brave woman had shaped, how could I bear to face every day life? How could Fate look up to me if I couldn’t even control my instinct for self-harm?

Of course, my psyche now filled with the images of my most recent encounter with thebeautiful young girl. She had seriously thought these things of herself? How could she? When she was such a brilliantly bright andhot nice person. I really had to stop thinking like this, she is a student, an even though I am not that much older than her, I should keep my distance, for her own safety. I had seen the look on her face when I had ignored her; I had only disregarded her because I didn’t want her to see the pain I now held in my crushed heart. I had thought that she was okay, eating suitably, and I now blame myself for pushing her away, and it felt as if it was entirely my fault. The guilt was almost as unbearable as it was when Matt died, but I wasn’t drugged at the moment, so the suffocating remorse wasn’t at all dulled.

I just hope that she can make it. I hope that she knows how much she means tome everyone. She means more than I hope to admit. I went to my class, realizing how long I had been away.

FATE’S P.O.V.

“So, Fate, you ate regularly, but always vomited afterwards, do you have a reason for this that will keep me from contacting your parents?” Dumbledore said, without yelling, without anger, just unfettered disappointment sparkling in his kind blue eyes, how could a stranger care so much? I’m only a student, not anything important, and I wasn’t going to be pulling anymore of this shit, Gerard had fixed that… He was nice and good to look at… How could I have refused him a second time, he also convinced me to believe in myself with only a few shared words, a few minutes, it was like magic, but it didn’t feel unclean, it wasn’t a shortcut.

I shrugged and answered: “I’m not going to do this again, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I don’t really feel the need to tell you why I starved myself in the first place, if you knew anything about my family I’m sure that you would understand.”

“Actually, I am fairly certain that I know more about your family than even you do.” His boyhood mischief was undamaged even through many years of living, but I wasn’t in the mood to play games, if he knew something that I didn’t, I had better know soon…

“Then, pray, fill me in, because if you really knew about my family, you wouldn’t have asked why I’ve done what I’ve done.”

“Your parents are Death Eaters, so it’s understandable why you’ve d…” he stopped speaking when he saw the shock on my face, my parents are Death Eaters? Since When? I thought, as if he read my thoughts, he responded: “You didn’t know? I would have thought that either Professor Moody or Way would have told you.” He stated nonchalantly, not knowing what an affect it would have on me…

“Gerard knew?” I choked out of my now-dry mouth; he nodded solemnly, no regretting the long-hidden secrets that had spilled out of his lips “Get me out of these handcuffs.” I said firmly, leaving no room for resistance, he motioned with his hands, I was released. I rubbed my wrists eagerly and hopped out of the bed, no matter how exhausted I was, I would not rest until I found him and throttled him… I was wearing my clothes from earlier, mostly; my shirt was unbuttoned quite a bit because Madam Pomfrey had to monitor my vital signs. I didn’t even care, nor did I notice.

Thinking of her… she rushed over and asked me to stop, I stormed out, leaving her unheeded, I don’t think that I even heard what she said, so fierce was my intention of hurting Gerard for keeping this imperative information from me. I wearied significantly as I walked quickly down the corridors, receiving odd looks from my classmates who were disobedient enough to be out in the halls. I ran into someone, I looked up to see the chocolate brown eyes of Will. He looked at me worriedly:

“You’re sick; you shouldn’t be out of the infirmary!” He scorned me, I grasped my head in pain at the loud noise, becoming conscious of the fact that I was sweating profusely, I attempted to cool down by waving my shirt collar against my heated collar bone, it only succeeded in flashing my breasts further, but Will was gay, so I didn’t really care. I strode right past him, just as well.

I walked as fast as my slowly fading body could to the History of Magic room. A class of first years occupied the overly sunny room; they paid avid attention as he detailed the events of a dragon capture, especially the girls, I scowled at them from the door and stormed in angrily. “You didn’t tell me.” I said with unadulterated fervor, he looked up from the largely overwritten text book, and stared at me quizzically.

“You should still be in the hospital wing; Madam Pomfrey’s gonna have my head if I get you any more ill than you already are.” I shook my head no, I felt crazy and fidgety, like I was dehydrated, like I was rabid and belonged in the precincts of a straight jacket.

“If you tell me why… I might go back, if the reason’s good enough, that is. Maybe I want to get even more sick now, maybe everything you told me was a lie, you certainly kept a pretty fucking big one from me.” The younger students flinched at my use of uncensored bad language. He walked over to me and placed his hands tenderly around my upper arms, I didn’t have the physical capability to even attempt to struggle out of his grip, at the moment.

“What didn’t I tell you?” He really didn’t know what he had lied to me about, or didn’t remember… “About my parents, you know what they are. Don’t you?” Comprehension crossed hishandsome features, he released his grasp on my arms, backing away.

“I know, you weren’t supposed to, though.” He said, looking down ashamedly. I walked into the hallway without another word spoken, I certainly wasn’t going to talk with him again; he could have saved me so much pain… If only he had told me. I blacked out right as I made it out of his door and into the blurred boundaries of the corridor.