Chaotic Forbiddance

I’m starting to really hate the hospital wing, and the history wing, but only because of the asshole…

I lay in the metal framed bed, night clouding every corner of the room, every dark crevice, I heard the scurrying of house elves in the floors both below and above, something that Hermione would find horrendous, but that I only found amusing. Of course, Madam Pomfrey had given me some very odd potions, so that could just be those intoxications in my thin bloodstream. I thought over my past, and how all of the puzzle pieces finally fit together, because my parents are Death Eaters. My parents are Death Eaters, and I seem only to care that Ge — Professor Way lied to me. My thoughts only seemed to revolve around him, and I fell into a dream state, with my first impression of him the only thing on my troubled mind.

My entire being was captured by the beauty of wise hazel eyes, with golden honey flecks that sparkled with unknown depths and mischief. And shiny jet-black hair... wowee.

Though in the very back of my mind was this nagging thought, more than physicality, more than emotion, my natural instinct, at the time, was to run into his arms, so caring was the aura that he exuded. After discussion with him furthered and our similarities and differences were told apart, I started tolove him revel in his presence even more. When Malfoy came over to rudely interrupt our conversation, I was severely depressed by the intrusion.

“You’re great.” He rested his hand on mine, sending a quiver up the length of every single nerve, an electrical current swept through my weak body, something was special about this bare brush of his skin against mine. The friction seemed to force our hands to clasp together, even though we had no reason to hold hands, especially since mine were handcuffed to the bed, because of my “suicidal tenancies.” I looked briefly into Gee’s shining eyes, and realized that I was referring to him by his first name again. I also realized, while seeing the lights reflect softly in the caramel pools that seemed to have a new look in them… I let myself look back at Gerard, but realized that a tear had made its slow path down my cheek, he wiped it off with one soft hand, but a ruckus in the hall brought us from the bliss of our shared moment, and back to the real world. The harsh world.

It seemed that every moment in my life that had any particular love or uniqueness was purely his, embedded into my memory by his very company, but this only made his betrayal even more painful.

I look to the window, the moon was only a sliver, and its waning crescent casts an eerie gloom upon the fogged September night sky; I fell asleep, only to find the lyrics of my favorite song on replay through my deluded mind.

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends…

When I awoke, the ground outside of the windows was as damp as it could possibly be and the rain cascaded off of the panes of glass, creating a rippling effect, mesmerizing me, but not enough for me not to notice something on my once-empty bedside table. A card and a small box, I picked up the card, only to find it completely empty, just a sheet of red paper, strange… I grasped the gold-tinted box in my hand, opening it, I found a miniscule package of Starbuck’s Coffee, and I opened it, just to smell the heavenly scent.

An acidulous scent met my nasal passages, this was certainly not coffee, I looked into the inviting package to find nothing inside… How? I reached inside; I am now officially worthy of the title “Village Fool” for I am foolish in the habits of my impish friends. Three sets of teeth met my index finger on either side; I withdrew my hand at the sharp pain, only to find licorice snaps there, not exactly painful, but not really hilarious when every drop of blood that you waste could be vital. Lee Jordan stepped out from behind an arch, I laughed at his guilty expression, with the undercurrent of mischief, I flung the perpetrator from my weakly shaking hand at him, he ducked, but it managed to catch on his dreadlocks, score! He shook his head and thought that the insect-like candy was gone from his head… he wouldn’t have a very pleasant sleep tonight, I wager. We talked for a few minutes, but he had an N.E.W.T. class and had to leave, else he would get kicked out of the class, it was Potions, of course.

Madam Pomfrey approached after Lee’s visit, and asked me to swallow a few potions and eat some food, only a little, of course, and watched me apprehensively, I ate as much as could of it, but knew that it would take a couple weeks before I could eat a whole meal. I ended up eating the rest of it later, and she noticed, which left her smiling for the rest of the day. My incontrollable thought process led me back to Gee, and how caring he always acted towards me, but also, how he looked briefly at my cleavage when I was interrogating him about his blatant lies towards me, could this mean something? What if he did feel something for me? What if I forgave him and we…?

No, I could not think this way about him, I didn’t even care for him as a friend anymore, why should I?

He couldn’t have possibly been protecting you, could he?

Shut up.

Why don’t you ask him? While you’re there, maybe you could ask him if he likes you as much as you obviously like him…

Because I can’t do anything with him due to our circumstances... and you’re stupid!

Your comebacks suck, I’m only a voice in your head, but I know what you feel, these emotions that you can’t quell, these longings that you’re both having for each other.

How would you know about his head?

Not his head, his soul, if two souls are bonded, there are things that I can see about him. He’s as transparent as the best Venetian glass.

Don’t tell me this, I don’t want to know, he still lied to me.

With much effort I blocked the nattering voice from my head, angry that he could affect me from meters and meters away, but the voice was right, sort of.

TWO WEEKS LATER

I hadn’t received that many visits since Lee Jordan, though Dumbledore frequently came to talk to me, he was far more interesting a person than anyone would care to tell, but he was vague and cryptic in all of his hints and facial movements. He did suggest something very dirty about Gerard and I, at least, I think he did… it was a very odd conversation.

“So, Fate, are you finally sane and out of the hospital wing?” Mikey said as he escorted me from the rooms that I was so sick and tired of, I was finally alright and able to digest almost normal amounts of food, but I was still tiny, which I now realize that I always was. I broke away from Mikey as we reached the dormitory, and I grabbed some nicer clothes and took a long desired shower without Madam Pomfrey making sure that I didn’t harm myself with any of the sharp objects contained in a bathroom. I slipped on my skirt and my black fish net tights underneath, not the sluttish barely-cover-your-leg kind, but the type with small holes that barely show skin. After that I put on a crème color button down shirt, and a maroon tank top beneath, I buttoned a few of the small and annoying clasps, but left it mostly open. I placed on a tie with the yellow-ish Gryffindor color dominating it over my neck and walked out, after adorning my feet with shoes, of course.

It was nearly night-time, past dinner, and I knew that I could easily slip through the hallways unnoticed, but that no one was as-of-now in their beds, unless they re so old that they must be in order to wake in the morning. I walked to the history wing, taking deep breaths to steady myself, I heard the pitter patter of miniscule feet behind me, so I ran to Professor Way’s office, which Mikey told me, was connected to his living quarters. I turned briefly after I closed the door, and it was Mrs. Norris following me, I shrugged and closed the door on the eerie feline. I walked up a set of stairs that connected to the office and knocked, Gerard opened the door, releasing a flood of loud music, still reading a comic book, hair pulled back into a pony tail, oddly enough, it worked for him. I nearly had anorgasm fit when I saw how he looked, his leather jacket was patched and old, but obviously the only thing that was disheveled about him. He finally looked up from his comic after I realized that the music playing was a Queen song, “Somebody to Love.” His hand twitched and the music ceased, it was a favorite of mine, but in the silence I heard Filch talking to Mrs. Norris, and walking towards us. Without hesitation, Gerard gently pushed me into the office and through another door so that I wouldn’t get into any trouble. I was in a dark room which I assumed was his bedroom, I heard the men conversing:

“What’s got you in this wing?” Said Gee.

“Was there a student here?” Came the gruff reply of the caretaker, I swear that I could hear Gerard shrug, but he also covered for me with a great story.

“I think Peeves was here though, maybe went through the passage to the dungeons.”

“How did you know about that, I thought it was secret?!” He practically shouted.

“I was late to class one day a couple years ago and found it, don’t worry, I didn’t tell anyone else, though, I suppose Fred and George have already found it.” I smirked, I was the first one that they told about the Marauder’s Map, and that was one of their coveted methods to nearly be late to Snape’s class. Filch said his goodbyes and I backed away from the door, in preamble to it swinging open.

“What are you here for?” Gerard asked me with an annoyed tone of voice hinting in his tone, I closed my eyes and spit it out…

“I had a lot of time to think, so firstly: I’m sorry for ignoring you the first time, it just made my condition worse, and I’m sorry if I made you feel guilty, but nothing was your fault. Secondly: I know what you trying to do when you didn’t tell me my parents’ true identity, you were trying to make sure that I didn’t hurt myself even further, but I overreacted… I’m so sorry for yelling at you like that, especially with your recent loss.” He looked down, his comic long set-aside, but I wasn’t done.

“There’s just one more thing,” I stepped closer to him, bridging the once-overwhelmingly large gap, “It’s going to sound completely insane, and I’ll understand if you’re never going to bother with me again, but…” I looked up, unwittingly shuffling close enough to him that I was practically in his arms; I could feel his hot and steamy breath on my forehead, I could feel his heart beat so closely to mine…

“I think I’m in love with you.” I said it, but Gerard said it too, at the same instant, our love for each other flourished, perhaps the voice in my head was, in fact, correct? But that was the last thing on my mind when he brought his right hand up to my cheek, stroking it tenderly, while his left came to grip my waist. The light from the hallway barely illuminated our exchange; I trembled underneath his touch, looking down, so as not to see whatever emotions crossed his face… His right hand moved from my cheek to my chin, which he lifted, while his chin moved downward, so in the middle my lips parted, only for the reason that they met his in an explosion not unlike that of nuclear proportions.

Eventually, we tired of the childish lip lock and his lips parted as well, with his tongue in between, worming its’ way through my mouth, making me gasp with every new area that was explored, every boundary that was pushed. I had wrapped my arms around his neck; both of his hands were at my waist, though they clenched tightly, almost painfully, bringing us closer, when my tongue came into play as well and I gained an unmatched confidence.

But there came a time when we went up for air, during which our foreheads remained leaned together, and we each caught small kisses when we were tired of our breathing rest. One of those small kisses, instigated by Gerard, led to yet another breathless kissing session, neither of us thought of anything but the bliss that poured like a river through our veins in each other’s presence, neither of us thought.