...and the mistake takes the cake.

Silence. That was what has been heard for the past 3 hours.

Me still in Pat's chest, the tears fully dried and looking out the window, counting the passing lights in hope to fall asleep and skip all of this awkwardness.

Pat looked like he was about to fall fast asleep. We shared a blanket and Tim finally figured out how to work the heater so it circulates the through the whole van.

It was warm and toasty.

I would've fallen asleep too, if it weren't for the thousands of thoughts rushing through my head at full speed. And the fact that John looked like he was just about ready to kill Pat.

'4 more days' I thought to myself. '4 more days until Vegas. Then everything would be right again. I know it'

Well, I didn't KNOW it. But I sure did HOPE it.

I started scratching off purple nail polish from my fingers. We were never like this. Normally, right now Jared and Garrett would be arguing about whether or not Megan Fox truly is hot and whether or not the fact that her thumbs decrease 5 points from her total hotness level.

Pat's upfront with Tim, playing Yoshi Island or some shit like that on his 100 year old Game-boy.

Kennedy is asleep with his hand down the front of his pants. No one knows why but that's how he always seems to fall asleep. I don't think it's too healthy considering he eats with that hand. But I don't want to be the one to take it out.

And of course. John and I would be together. Being as cute as a couple could be. I would be in the back with him, the back always seemed to be mine and John's rightful spot. My head on his lap and his hand stroking through my hair. And the moment before I fall asleep he would kiss my forehead.

They all seemed like fantasies now.

I continued to look at the passing lights, they came slower and slower each time. Until eventually they stopped and Tim turned off the engine.

I furrowed my eyebrows and raised my head up just enough so I could see him.

"What's going on?" Asked I.

Tim looked at me and smiled weakly. "Tired. And it's been awhile since I let you guys sleep in a proper bed. We're at some decent looking hotel." He started gathering the bags around him and walking out. "Mind waking up the boys? Thanks."

He didn't need an answer. It had to be a yes. I knew Tim hated the silence as much as I hated it.

Tim didn't really give a fuck about hotels and comfort. His main priority was always getting the band to the venue ontime.

Sighing, I got up and shook Pat slightly. "Wake up Pat. Your bitchy brother is being nice. Take advantage." Pat woke up. Painfully slow, but he woke up. With a soft smile he started getting out of the car and stretching.

I climbed over the seat, into the back. God. I hope we get that bus when we reach Vegas. I can't wait 'till The Maine opens for All Time Low. They were nice guys. Only met them once, but they were nice.

I climbed ontop of Garrett and Jared's bodies. Both embracing each other. Sometimes I think they subconciously turn gay. Anytime they're anywhere near each other and they fall asleep, they always hug.

And of course, when we tell them. They deny it and say they were just sleep wrestling cause they were manly like that.

"W-what?" Garrett said, whilst being cuddled by Jared. He realised his position, blushed and slapped him off. "Get off fucker."

Jared got up equally as fast, falling on the floor in the process. Looking like a deer trapped in headlights, he desperately tried to regain his status level. "GARRETT! I told you not to put my arm around me! Douche."

It was then, I realised, Jared was wearing a cape.

"Question. Why are you wearing a cape?" I asked, bemused and slowly loving the fact that everything might be getting back to normal.

Jared looked on his back, and realised that, in-fact, he was wearing a cape. Dracula style. Where he got it I have no idea. But I have a feeling it probably has something to do with either a hooker, the fact that Taylor Swift said she loved capes, or the least fun reason. He bought it in Target.

He looked embarrassed, but a small smile creeped across his face. " Better question....why WASN'T I wearing a cape for the previous 20 years of my life? This is awesome. I feel like fucking Batman yo."

I rolled my eyes. Of course. "Right. Well why don't you and...." I looked over at a still trying to fall asleep Garrett. "...Robin over there go with Tim to make sure he doesn't screw up the rooms."

Jared laughed and kicked a now fully awake Garrett who was looking at me appalled. "WHY AM I ALWAYS THE PUSSY?!"

"Hey. I don't make the rules. Now go fight elsewhere. Elsewhere being near to Tim. Not like on the other side of the state at some McDonalds like last time." Oh the memories.

"I really wanted a Big Mac. Shut up."

Laughing, I pushed their asses both out of the small van area. Making a straight line for Kennedy. He was all the way in the back. And John watched my every move.

Upon getting to the sleeping brunette, I just simply shook him a bit and told him that Tim got us rooms here. He was pretty good from there with getting his ass out of the van. Which was thrilling since I didn't want to spend any more time than I needed to in the same area as John.

I started for the door immediately. Only to have my hand grabbed by John.

"Anna..." He said softly. I paused for a minute taking deep breaths.

Slowly, I looked back at his pleading expression. It was hurtful to see him like this. To see the man I loved anything but happy. But at this moment, I wasn't even sure about whether or not I truly do love him.

Instead of giving out to him, which is what I wanted to do, I said a soft. "Don't touch me...." Barely audible. But that was all he needed to realise his grip slowly.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I basically ran out the door.

The parking lot space between the van was pretty big. Complete with random drunk male gapers, probably from the strip club across the street. They shouted rude comments at me. But I ignored all, which was odd considering I almost always chew them out if they don't look too dangerous.

Whatever.

I brushed a wet spot from my eye and powerwalked to the entrance.

The hotel wasn't anything too fancy, but it wasn't shady either. There was visible proper laid out wall paper on the wall and the furniture all matched. Those were my only bench marks.

"G'day Miss." A man with an Australian accent said once I walked in.

Australian accent.

I sucked in a few sobs.

The guys were all in the small waiting place available. Tim swinging a few keys around his index finger. His happy face turned worried once he saw my grim expression. Regardless, he didn't make a comment when I came closer.

The others didn't either. But I could see Pat straining from the corner of my eye.

"Hey guys." I hiccuped a bit. A sign that I was just about to burst into tears. And everyone there knew it.

Tim just frowned and threw me some keys. "Level 3, number 189."

I smiled. "Um, John would be here in..." Hiccup. "...A few.." Hiccup. "...minutes. Sorry I didn't tell him to come sooner." Hiccup.

The guys all looked scared and worried. They nodded solemnly.

Tim was the first to speak. "Just go ahead up. We'll bring your bag later."

I smiled. Well. My mouth did. My eyes however, did not cooperate. I could see Pat was itching at every nerve he had not to burst and bombard me with questions.

"Ok..." Spinning around, I walked to where a sign was marked "ELEVATOR" in a dark grey. By the check in counter, I saw a family. A small one, but a family none the less.

There was a little girl and what seemed to be a baby boy in the mother's hands. The girl was wearing a light pink heavy winter coat with snow in her hair. She seemed thrilled with the btis of white fluff however and kept trying to run off to the nearest mirror.

The baby boy wiggled in his mothers hands as she also tried to contain the girl.

But what really caught me, was after the mother gave up on trying to catch the girl with a child in her arms. She just shook her head and focused her attention on the boy.

I noticed the husband see this. He walked over and adoringly looked at the baby and his wife. I could see his lips moving as he asked her if she would like help.

She smiled, looking up and what I saw in her eyes wasn't anything less than really and truly love.

It all happened in slow motion. And admittingly, I was extremely jealous.

I clutched my palms together hard. Why did John have to go mess all of this up? We could have had all what those parents have. We could have been those people.

Maybe not now. Maybe not in the too soon future. But someday.

I envisioned myself and John in a perfect life living in a stable house with beautiful children. Envious thoughts of the small family filled my head as I continued to dream.

But just as quick, a hand went to the small of my back and all the fantasies seemed to disappear.

I swung around, just as the elevator door was about a foot away. Naturally, it was Pat.

I must admit. I was kinda hoping for John.

And I'm an asshole for being willing to blow off my best friend for my ex boyfriend.

"Oh. Hi." I said grimly, trying to smile but failing. Oh well. It's not like Pat hasn't already seen me cry.

He furrowed his eyebrows in a worried way. "Anna. Are you okay?"

I sucked in a sob. Why couldn't John be like Pat? Pat was sweet, kind, and faithful all the time. He actually cares about my feelings too.

And this has been kind of recent, but slowly I've been noticing how adorable his features are....

Regardless, I nodded. Not wanting to bother him again with my sobs of feeling sorry for myself.

"I'm fine." Hiccup. Shit.

Pat obviously didn't buy it. He more than anyone knew me inside out. Probably even more than John does. (me: I feel a sex joke coming on. I will refrain however to keep the mood)

"C'mon." He pressed a button on the elevator wall and immediately it opened. Waiting for someone to step in. Pat took a hold of my arm and dragged me in. Pressing the level 3 button at the same time. The door closed slowly.

"What are we doing? Where are we going?" I asked. Frantically wondering why Pat cared so much. I would've given up by now.

"What we're doing. Talking things out. Where. Your room. Now c'mon." The doors pinged and blue carpeting and pale yellow paint on the walls could be seen. Lucky for me, 189 was right there to the left of where the elevator opens too.

Pat took my key and opened it up for me. I kept wiping my face on the oversized flannel shirt I stole from one of the guys for warmth.

The hotel room was as expected. Same furniture as downstairs. A single queen sized bed, random chair in the corner, a bath room and of course a table where you can put your crap.

Pat guided me in and we both sat on the bed.

I went up to the pillows and lay there, pulling one from the chair beside me to hug for comfort. Pat was at the edge and turned to face me with a questioning look.

"I know you're not okay Anna. It's kinda that obvious." He said softly.

I nodded. "I'm sorry for totally spoiling the tour Pat. I didn't mean too. Now I know why other bands don't bring their girlfriends along." Mumbled I, whilst looking off into the distance and trying not to make eye contact.

Then Pat did a surprising thing. He laughed. Not like he was laughing at me however. Just like he was laughing at what I said.

This got me angry. "What are you laughing at?" I mean, here I was spilling my guts and he starts LAUGHING?

"That's ridiculous Anna." He said, once his quiet laughter fit was over. "If anything you made this tour BETTER. It would just be a cockfest of us fighting all the time. Plus the bus would smell like fart and sex if you weren't there to smell nice for us. I don't get how you could even say that. All the guys love you. Hell, I love you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Did Pat just say he loved me?

He noticed this. "As a friend..I-I mean."

Oh.

That makes sense. But what didn't make sense was the weird disappointment feeling I had in my stomach.

It was kind of weird. But I figure it'll just shake off.

"Is that why you're upset? You think we don't want you here? Did John tell you this?" Pat's tone suddenly got angry and grim.

I shook my head, he looked like he was about to bite the tv in any moment. "No... It's just...You wouldn't get it."

Pat rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. Tell me. I'm you're best friend, it's in the bond we share to make each other feel better no matter what. Now shoot."

I sighed. I never really was going to win was I? Although I'm voting against telling Pat. Purely for the fact that it would probably come out sounding cheesy. I knew I had to get it out of my system somehow.

"Fine. But you have to promise not to laugh."

"Promise."

"Or make a comment on it's cheesiness."

"Promise."

"Or tell John."

"Jesus Christ Anna, I promised already." He said jokingly. I smiled slightly and shifted a little closer to him.

"Ok fine." I said softly removing the pillow and laying on my back so that eye-contact could not be initiated. "You know that family downstairs? The one with the little blonde girl in pink?"

I lifted my head a bit, to see pat shrug. So I continued. "Right. I was looking at them. Which was kinda obvious. But what I realised is. Is that this had to be the most jealous I've ever been in my life."

Pat furrowed his eyebrows at me. Not fully understanding. Not like I expected him too though.

"What? Why?" He asked curiously.

I turned over, hiding my face. Here comes the cheesy part. "I...I just found myself wanting that. Not right now. But you know what I mean. I saw how the woman looked at the man and it reminded me of how John and I used to look at each other. At any moment in the day we would look at each other with love in our eyes. But of course now, we're broken up. And that's the least bit of what bothers me. What bothers me the most is that, I'm still in love with John. And he's still in love with me. But when I look at him. I don't feel it anymore. And this is the guy that I would lay in bed and think of what we would name our children and stuff." I laughed, a single tear fell out of my right eye. "I wish that were John and I downstairs right now Pat. But I'm so Goddamn confused."

I threw my hands up and covered my face as the tears fell freely and heavily. I sobbed lightly.

Pat brought me into his arms, much like how he did in the car. For the first time I noticed how good of a listener he was.

"Why are you so confused Anna? What's there to be confused about?" He asked.

I looked up at him and sniffed while wiping an eye. I found it somewhere deep inside myself to laugh lightly. "You ask alot of questions you know?" I said smiling. Which probably looked weird because I was still tearing up and freely crying.

"I know." Pat laughed and smiled too.

A sniffed and took the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my eye. "But to answer your question. I'm confused because I'm not sure what's going on. I love John. I love him to death ever since you introduced us. But lately...now this is going to sound retarded. But...I find myself thinking weird thoughts of....you...." I said it rather quickly. Pat's face was confused. I thought fast. "I mean, you're perfect. You're everything I wish John was. You're sweet, nice, cute and just....perfect in every way. The best part is, is that you get me. You actually get me. You know just what to say and do and I hate it. I'm starting to think that....I-I'm with the wrong guy or something."

Pat's eyes widened. "W-what?" He asked, very confused.

"See! It's confusing. I have no idea what's going on. I love John. But instead of thinking of John in the ways I should have when he was my boyfriend. I thought of you. And all my John fantasies. You took his place. And I couldn't even stop it." I buried my face in Pat's sweater.

It was green and smelled strangely of lilacs. Which came as a surprise considering Pat hadn't bathed in days.

I just focused on the smell and tried my hardest not to think of the thick silence surrounding us.

It lasted for about a minute. Which was too long for my liking. When I looked up, Pat wasn't even looking at me. I immediately knew, I had definitely should not have said that.

"I'm s-sorry Pat. Now I've ruined our friendship by adding this awkwardness." I got up, wiping my eyes once more before heading to the door. "God, I'm such an idiot." was what I mumbled as I walked.

But I had barely gotton to the door when a hand stopped me. It swung me around and I immediately started to tell Pat that it wasn't nessicary to give me this room and how I would just get another from Tim. Which was what I thought he was going to do.

"Pa-" I started. But I never got to finish. Because a soft pair of lips had found it's way to mine.

Pat's.

I was shocked, I hadn't expected this at all. Here I was thinking Pat hated me because I destroyed the best friend code. Which was, YOU NEVER FALL FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND.

I had a strong belief that if you did. Everything would be ruined.

But this just felt so....right. I couldn't stop.

I really got to learn to enjoy the little things.

Pat and my lips moved together. He was kissing my top lip and I was kissing his bottom. It was nothing like kissing John. With John it was usually rougher and I was usually on my tiptoes because of the extreme height difference. But with Pat it was just natural.

Perfect.

The kiss slowly became faster and faster. We moved back, closer to the bed and I could feel Pat's tongue graze my bottom lip. I opened my mouth just enough for him.

But of course, we got too close to the bed, and Pat fell backwards onto the duvet.

Me falling ontop of him.

But it wasn't like that stopped us.