...and the mistake takes the cake.

Waking up next to Pat.

It was somewhat....different.

The lanky body that usually was draped over mine no longer was there. And I realised that for once I was not freezing to death due to John hogging all the blanket.

Instead, I found myself laying on the chest of a smaller stature. Just barely bigger than me. His long-for-a-guy brown hair grazed my cheek and I could feel limp fingers wrapped around one of my chestnut curls.

His chest moved up and down with each breath. His steady heartbeat was all I heard besides the faint footsteps of others outside the door.

It was warm, which was weird considering it was both the beginning-ish of December, we didn't turn the heat on and....well....we were naked.

Was it creepy that I was awake and listening to him sleep? I feel like Edward Cullen. I never did this with John.

I never actually even felt this way with John either. With each of Pat's heart beats, butterflies formed in my stomach.

Even when John and I were embracing each other, nothing like this was what I felt.

I'm beginning to think that all John and I ever had was lust.

John. Why does that name make me feel like I'm forgetting something?

That's when it all sunk in. I had just had sex with Patrick Kirch. My best friend. And almost immediately, I shot up off of Pat's chest so I was sitting upright.

"OhmyGod." I said, grabbing my head while Pat stirred behind me. Waken by the sudden movement.

He turned around and opened his eyes to me. That's when I realised my bare chest was fully exposed and Pat was getting a good look at it. Pulling the blanket , I covered up. Not bothering to scold or feel embarrassed since Pat probably got to see them 3-D, Imax, HD surround sound last night. I cringed again

"What's wrong?" Pat asked once he pried his eyes from my body to my face.

I didn't even bother to answer him, I just ran out the bed and scavenged for my underwear and clothes. Pat seemed utterly confused.

"Anna...." He tried again, upon pulling on his boxers that were conveniently beside the bed. Ugh, why couldn't I have been that smart upon ripping off my clothes before sex. "Are you okay?"

I found my purple and white boyshorts, then my unmatching orange lace bra around a condom wrapper. Once again I grimaced.

I picked up the wrapper and gave it to Pat. "Throw that away." was all I said, then I proceeded in slipping on an oversized hoodie which smelled like Pat.

He looked at it. "Umm....okay." then he threw it perfectly into the garbage by the bathroom door. "But why aren't you answering my questions?"

I turned around and looked at Pat's hurt face. This must've been terrible for him.

I must look like worlds biggest bitch right now. Running around looking for me clothes with a guilty look on my face after he and I confessed out feelings for each other.

Like I regret it. Which I have. That's the worse part.

But still, I shouldn't show it.

"Pat..." I started. he looked up expectantly to me. And I took a deep breath.

"It's not you, it's me." What the fuck? Please don't tell me that came out of my mouth.

I expected Pat to look extremely angry. But he looked amused. Almost like he thought I were joking.But his smile faded upon seeing my dead serious face. "What do you mean?"

Sighing again, I started explaining things. "It's not that last night wasn't....amazing." And it was amazing. Pat was so different with the way he touched and kissed me. Like he thought about everything before hand.

Way more amazing than any thing John and I ever did. John was Just fun and risk taking.

This was different.

"But...Oh God Pat I'm sorry. But I totally regret it."

Pat's eyes went straight from confused, to extremely hurt. "W-why?"

Now I get it. Now I get why it's so hard for people to break up with other people.

I've always seen it in movies, but I've never really experienced it seeing as John was my first long term boyfriend.

Even though I wasn't technically BREAKING UP with him seeing as though all we did was have sex and tell each other our true fee-

Oh God this is exactly like breaking up in movies.

How the hell did I do it was John? I guess I might've been lost in the moment or something.

I looked at Pat. I could clearly see myself in his glassy brown eyes. I could SEE his heart breaking through it.

But strangely. I'm not sure what I saw. But it looked an awful lot like hope.

I feel like a parent trying to explain why they're getting a divorce.

"Well, mummy took daddy's pokeballs and gave them to Shrek. Her friend Daddy didn't know about."

That's how it would probably go down if John and I were married.

I should probably answer Pat now. "Pat. I love you." His eyes lit up. I cringed. "B-but.... I'm not too sure if it's in the way with John."

Then that one light of hope got blown out within seconds.

"Pat, I really do love you. And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I'm just not sure at this moment if it's as my husband..... or my husbands best friend."

I.Am.Such.A.Bitch.

Pat opened his mouth to say something, but closed it once nothing came out.

I looked at him and pulled on my pajama pants by his feet. "I hope we can still stay friends. I honestly wish that didn't happen. We just ruined our whole best friend scenario. Last night, I have no idea what came over me. But I'm not feeling it right now."

Turning to leave, I didn't want to inflict anymore damage than needed.

"S-so I was just the rebound sex? That didn't mean anything?" Pat asked. Stopping me in my tracks.

I didn't even bother to turn around. Tears had already started to slide down my golden brown coloured cheeks. "I'm sorry." I whispered, while walking out the door.

Having no idea how much damage this really did to Pat.

Upon closing the door behind me, I saw that the boys had kept their promise and brought up my bags. Both of them.

I sobbed and kicked them. I hate this tour. It's only caused pain to everyone so far. Why am I even here?

Oh yea cause I dropped out of college to be with my boyfriend.

And I'm only now realising how stupid that was. I threw away the life I could've had for THIS.

I sniffed and slid down the wall. Banging the back of my head slightly on it.

Just enough to wake up Tim and all the other guys in the room next door apparently.

Jared was the first to walk out. Groggily, the sleepiness evident in his eyes. He rubbed his eyes a bit and tried desperately to look like I wasn't crying.

I just looked down at my feet.

He yawned and leaned against the door frame. Smirking slightly.

"Had fun with Pat last night?" Jared asked. Obviously too tired to realise that if I had infact had a good time with Pat I would still be inside the room.

I shook my head slightly. "Y-you heard that?"

He chuckled. "We all did. Minus John which was good."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Who knew what John would've done if he'd found out.

"You're quite the moaner..." I sniffed and rolled my eyes. I could always blame my runny nose on the cold. "But I guess it's good that you and pat finally got together."

Wait what? "Finally got together"?

Is he telling me that he knew it was going to happen?

Jared stooped to my level. I turned my head the slightest bit away from him so he wouldn't see my blood shot eyes.

"You know. That's why Pat was angry that one day. He was jealous and sad 'cause he saw you and John making out. Apparently he's loved you since you two were 13." Yea why won't Jared just go aw- WAIT, WHAT?! HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS?!

"Since we were 13? F-for 8 years?!" I exclaimed, unable to believe what I was hearing.

Jared nodded his head happily, obviously not noticing my shaky voice.

"Yea. He even wrote that song, The Way We Talk. And Into Your Arms. We never took notice 'cause we assumed it was about some random girl....Ha looks like it was about you all the time."

I blinked. Not sure what to think of this.

Pat really...did all of that for...me?

All those songs that I've been hearing for years. The one's I've never known the true meaning behind. It was always about me. It always has been.

And I had just blew the guy who did all of that off.

Way to make me feel like shit Jared. Your timing floors me.

"Oh my God...." I sobbed, putting my face into my hands. I can't believe what I've just done.

Everything started making sense now.

I finally faced Jared, new tears appearing upon my eyes.

His eyes widened when seeing this. "A-Anna.... What's wrong? Did I say something?" I didn't answer for awhile. Just sniffing and sobbing for awhile. That's when I think he got it. "Did something happen between you and Pat?" He asked meekly.

I didn't answer him. "Is all of this true?"

He nodded solomnely.

My heart stopped. "...I think you should go check on Pat."

I got off the floor while Jared stayed in the same spot. Trying to process what scared information he just told me.

I was planning on running off to the floor public bathroom. Or maybe even the roof.

But I was stopped in my tracks when I collided with Tim, Kennedy and Garrett right behind him. They all saw my tears and started to ask what was wrong. But I ran off before they could've.

"Anna?!" Tim called after me. But I didn't bother looking back.

I made my way to the nearest door that wasn't a room. Which so happened to me a stairway complete with carpetting and a single chair. That's where I sat.

I can't believe what I had just done. I could've possibly broken up the band, maybe they all hate me.

Ugh. I have never wanted to go home so badly in my life. All I wanted to do is lay down on my bed with a carton of Ben and Jerry's feeling sorry for myself and talking to my cat.

That's when my phone vibrated. I had totally forgotton that I keep it in my Pajama pants pocket at all times.

I wiped my eyes so I could get a clear look at the screen.

18 messages from John. What's really odd, is even though this is the time of which I really don't give a shit about John...

I read them all.

And they all had something to do with apologizing and complimenting me. Apparently he had stayed in the car to sleep which explains how he hadn't heard Pat and I.

My phone vibrated again.

One new message from John.

I tapped on my touch screen Iphone. On the small black box with John's name on it.

"Anna, I really am sorry. I just realized how I can't live without you. I know you, you didn't ignore all my past messages. You probably read every single one of them." Fucking John and him knowing me for too long. "But please, meet me in the lobby. I have something to tell you."

Was what I read.

If he thought I was coming down there he was crazy. After all of this shit no way I'm even speaking to him.

So why do I find myself walking to the elevator.

I quickly wiped my eyes so John wouldn't see I've been crying. I doubt he'd notice anyway. He's not so keen like that.

I stretched out my hand to the elevator wall.

"Don't you dare press that button Anna." Said my inner conscience.

I did anyway. I pressed the big round shiny metal button with a 1 above it.

Having no idea why I did.

I guess I need someone to reach out too.

And since the band was probably against me by now, John was my only hope.

The elevator binged and it snapped me out of my thoughts. I wiped my eyes once more before stepping out and going to the living room place where everyone was sitting last night.

And just as I expected, John was sitting there alone right in the middle of it all.

He stood upon seeing me.

"Anna..." he said softly, like he didn't actually expect me to come.

I looked down letting my hair cover my face. "Make it quick. I still hate you. And I have my own ways of dealing with it that doesn't include talking to you."

I thought it to be best to leave out the part that my method included having the best sex of my life with Pat.

John looked at me "O-of course." He stuttered out. "Let me start by saying...I'm sorry of course."

Oh God this is starting out very weakly.

I turned to leave, not having time for one of his I'm sorry speeches of which he repeats the same thing over and over.

He grabbed my elbow just in time. "Wait, I promise it's worth it. Just hear me out."

I sighed, turning to make eye contact with him and folding my arms attentively.

Taking a deep breath, John started. "Anna I love you. I love you so much it's not even funny anymore. I was thinking last night. I can't believe how many times I've hurt you. You're the perfect girlfriend, supportive, beautiful and funny. All my friends like you and I'll be retarded to let you go." Ha, not too sure about that last fact at this point.

I continued to look at him, sending signals that he's going to have to do way better than that.

I'm not putting up with this bullshit. I'm really pissed at the moment. Loosing my best friend, having 4 other people hate me isn't exactly what I call a good way to start the day.

"I am. Soooo sorry. And I know you've heard this a thousand times. But I'm serious. I don't ever want want to hurt you-"

I cut him off. "Yea. Where have I heard THAT before?"

He answered back just as quickly however. "Yes but. I'm going to prove to you that I'm willing to commit. That I can change."

That's when John did the thing that I least expected him to do. Never in the whole time of knowing John, I had ever imagined him on his knees fishing through his pockets for a small black box.

I gasped and my hands flew up to my mouth.

No.Way.

John opened the tiny black box, in the middle of it was the prettiest most expensive looking rock I've ever seen.

"I went to get this last night. I wasn't sure what you would've wanted, but I hope this is okay."

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I-it's beautiful." I said not knowing what I got myself into.

"Marry me then?"

There was a small silence. It was filled by my thoughts as John shifted uncomfortably.

It's weird. I've been waiting for this all my life but oddly enough. I couldn't think of anything.

I couldn't fantasize about our soon to be marriage life. I couldn't think about future family, I couldn't worry about his job and problems it might cause.

Nothing.

None came to mind. The only thing that was going through my mind, was Pat.

Which made me cry. I had to get him out of my head.

Someway or another.

And that's why I agreed.

"Y-yes."

That really lit up John. "Oh my God...Yes? Really? You want to be my fiancee? After all of what happened?"

That's when I started to cry. "John. Dispite it all, I love you. And I'll love to marry you."

I left out the part, that there is a possibility that I love someone more.

Then it really sunk in for John. "Oh my God, we're getting married. We're getting married........"

I laughed and wiped the tears from my eyes as he hugged me and kissed my neck.

I'm now John O'Callaghan's fiancee.

I just fucked my best friend and ruined our relationship.

And my other best friends hate me.

Not the best day of my life.

"I can't wait. God I love you so much." John said into my ear. I laughed and pretended to be equally as happy.

When in reality, all that was running through my head was....

I'm screwed.