Celebrity Crush

November 25, 2009

I was walking back downstairs fully dressed. The whole argument between Karen and mom had changed the atmosphere around the house. Rachel stayed in the room mostly away from her mom and Jack. Karen had tried explaining the situation to Rachel but she wasn't listening to a word she said. The girl wouldn't even listen to me, so mom had basically ruined thanksgiving.

It was the day before Thanksgiving and Karen and Momaw were cooking in the kitchen, the smells coming from the room would make anyone's stomach growl. I tried holding my breath when I went in there but it was hopeless.

I was dressed in a blue plaid color shirt, light blue jeans, a black jacket, and some blue and black converse.

I walked in the living room and to find all the younger kids in front of the TV. Daphne and Phil were watching an episode of Sponge Bob-Square Pants. Sam was on the couch keeping an eye on them while he was texting on his phone. Sam was also down in the dumps since the argument, his and Rachel's relationship as brother and sister was deteriorating because of the huge revelation.

I decided to walk into the kitchen. Karen was at the table working on some of the food. Momaw was at the stove cooking her famous banana and wafer pudding. Since me and the younger kids didn't like the bananas she made one with nothing but wafer cookies in it. I missed her cooking; her deserts were to die for.

“Aunt Karen, do you need some help?”

She looked up the smile on her face not quite reaching her eyes.

“Sure honey. You can help peeling some potatoes for the stew for tomorrow. Afterward if you want you can help me with the pecan pie.”

I smiled and took a seat. She handed me the peeler and the bowl of potatoes and I got started. I made sure not to hurt myself on with the peeler.

My mind was swirling though. I hadn't received any messages from Robert since they left a couple days before, the day before yesterday. I wasn't sure if Robert was going to continue sleeping with my mom while we had this thing going on behind her back. I kind of guessed he would have to just to keep that relationship going. She might start to get suspicious if he refused to sleep with her.

I am just worried about how much longer our relationship can stay on track. I'm not normally a jealous person but that woman just gets on nerves to the extreme.

Kimi hasn't messaged me either which is strange. I figured she would have tried calling me or messaging me or something. I felt so alone during this entire situation.

“Laura?”

My head snapped up and I noticed the potato I was peeling was done. I picked up another one and looked at Karen.

“I heard about your friend Alex. I’m so sorry Laura.”

I smiled. It was strange, I hadn't cried very much since they pulled the plug. I suppose I was in denial or something, part of me didn't want to believe my best friend, Alex Mason, was dead. I guessed that once the funeral came I wouldn't be in denial so much.

“Thanks Karen for saying that. So much has been going on that I haven't really gotten to think about him dying. I suppose at the funeral is when it will finally hit me that one of my best friends is actually dead.”

She gave me a sad smile, “Who's going with you?”

“Um well I know Kimi's going. Mom and Robert are supposed to go with me to show their support and all. I don't know if they will actually come or not because something could come up again.”

The anger was still in her eyes.

“That woman should have never had kids. She was all over Sarah when she was younger, fussing over everything she did. I don't know what happened to that Molly.”

I shrugged, “Maybe she isn't over my father or something. She just doesn't realize it maybe. I look a lot like my father, maybe she doesn't like being constantly reminded of what she lost.”

I heard Momaw sigh, “You sound so much older Laura. I swear you were my age with the way you think. She treats you this way but you can't help but stick up for her.”

I smile, “No matter what she is my mother. No matter what she does or how she treats me that won't change. She can run from it all she wants, she's still my mother and we are blood. I know she's like the devil but I still love her, she gave birth to me.”

Suddenly Momaw and Aunt Karen started laughing.

“Oh yeah she gave birth to you alright. I remember that day, I thought she was going to kill Michael or something.” said Karen through chuckles.

“Well he's the one that told her to actually have her. Sarah was a C-section; she didn't have to do anything but lie there for that one. Then Laura wasn't the smallest baby in the world either.” said Momaw with a smile on her face.

Obviously they were talking about the day I was born.

“Who named me?”

I had to ask. I couldn't ask mom because she wasn't around and dad wasn't either.

Momaw looked at me with a smile, “Well both your parents really. Michael named Sarah so Molly got her turn naming you this time. She gave you the name Laura but your father gave you the middle name of Robin and of course you have his last name.”

I nodded my head, I had always been curious about that.

“I remember when we all first held you. Michael was first of course then Molly. She looked at you with so much love that I was blown away. I only had Rachel at the time so I was blown away how she could look at you with as much love as she did with Sarah maybe more. It was just so surprising.”

I smiled. I suddenly heard noise from the living room causing Karen to sigh and stand to her feet.

“I think it's time I checked on them. God knows what they haven't gotten into.”

Momaw and I chuckled as she walked out of the room. She rubbed my head on her way past me and I smiled. Aunt Karen was the best aunt in the entire world. Momaw walked to the table and took a seat.

“I've been meaning to ask about how you are doing with everything. I mean Ben still on the loose, losing a friend, and not to mention being kidnapped by all of those hooligans.”

I shrugged, “I don't know really. It just feels like it happened to someone else. I mean the other boy that was killed during the entire thing was buried before I was released from the hospital. His sister, Annie, she seems to be taking it pretty hard but she tries not to show it. I feel really bad for her, Kimi and I added her to our little group so she didn't feel left out or anything.”

Momaw nodded her head. She brought her hands toward mine taking the things from my hands.

“Laura, honey, I didn't ask about your friends. I asked about how you are holding up. I know you are putting up this strong facade around everyone but just know this, one day you are going to breakdown. When you do just remember you aren't weak for showing emotion. Everyone does, it's natural. Your friend was killed, someone else was killed, and then you were kidnapped. You basically watched everything play out in front of your eyes. It's okay to let go and let yourself cry sometime. Trust me, I had a hard time when my own mother past but crying does help, remember everything about him even the bad times because that's all you have left of him.”

I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes. Momaw always knew the right things to say when I was feeling down in the dumps.

“Th-Thanks, Momaw.”

She smiled and held her arms opened for me. I collapsed in them feeling the tears streaming down my face. I suddenly wished that time would go faster; I just wanted to attend college and live around her already.

I heard commotion coming toward the kitchen and I watched Momaw sigh. We both pulled away as a mess of brown hair came in the kitchen. Rachel was walking around in her pajamas the same as every day since the argument.

She would change them, which was a plus I suppose. Today she was dressed a light pink tank top with a black hoodie on over it with a pair of dark blue fuzzy pajama pants. I just shook my head; she had on some headphones so she couldn't talk to anyone. Karen hadn't been able to get through her facade to actually talk about my mom's little announcement to everyone.

Rachel walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and then went to the pantry. She grabbed a bag of chips and a bag of Nutter-Butter cookies.

I bit my lip from saying anything about the cookies. Momaw knows that when she has those cookies I am the first to know about them. Rachel made sure she had everything and then walked out back toward the bedroom.

I looked at Momaw but she had gone back to the stove.

“Momaw when were you going to tell me about the cookies?”

She giggled, “Sorry honey I really did forget. Maybe if you can get through to her than you can have some.”

I sighed and shook my head. Karen walked in the kitchen then with Daphne on her hip. Daphne was oblivious to everything going on, she just thought Rachel was having an episode, like normal. Karen walked to the fridge and took out the jug of chocolate milk and then found one of Daphne's princess sippy cups.

Standing to my feet I brush myself off. I had peeled at least three or four for Karen, hopefully that was enough.

“Well I'm going to see if I can get some cookies from Rachel. Maybe I can get through to her for you Aunt Karen.”

Karen sat Daphne on her feet with her cup full of chocolate milk. She ran back in the living room to continue watching her show.

“Good luck sweetie.” replied Aunt Karen.

I smiled and walked out of the room toward the stairs. I could hear the pounding of my heart as I walked up the stairs at a slow steady pace. I got to the top and pulled a bit of courage from deep within myself and then walked down the hall the rest of the way.

I found myself knocking first just to let her know it wasn't her mother coming in on her. Plus I needed to make sure that the door wasn't locked.

Knock!

Knock!

“Who is it?”

“It's Laura. It's just me.”

I heard her grumble and then the click of the knob. I turned the knob then and pushed the door opened. She was back to lying on her bed on her back with a pair of headphones in her ears. Her eyes were originally staring at the ceiling.

“If you are staying in here then lock the door back. If you aren't then you have five minutes before I lock that door and you are stuck in here until I leave again.”

I nodded my head turning the lock back. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye. I found the cookies on her bed on the other side of her closer to the wall.

“Rachel, do you think we could talk?”

She sighed, “Did my mother send you up here or not?”

I shook my head, “No actually. I came to get a few cookies from that bag you took from the kitchen originally but I thought I would try to talk with you. I know you are older than me but maybe we could talk.”

She sighed and turned her body to a sitting position.

“You want to talk? Okay, but, I don't think you can tell me anything because you have no idea what I'm going through.”

I couldn't resist the urge to roll my eyes. Even though Rachel was older than me didn't stop her from still acting like a teenager.

Sighing I took a seat on my bed across from her.

“I think I may know better than you think. You were suddenly told something that you didn't expect. Now you are wondering who you really are. I mean you don't know your real father and that could be a serious change for everyone. I mean I don't know exactly what you're feeling but your mom could put some stuff in perspective. Your mom and that man that is you have known to your father your entire life are the best parents anyone could ask for.

Sometimes I really wish I was Aunt Karen's daughter. She treats like her own instead of her niece. You still have both your parents. My father doesn't give a rat's ass about me and my mother only cares about these men in her life and the freedom her job gives her. My sister is her pride and joy. You are so lucky, you have really no idea.”

She lowered her head, “I know that's what upset me. Why didn't she tell me sooner? I mean I'm already so much older to handle the news. I guess I'm more upset that I heard it during an argument and not from my own mother. My aunt had to scream to out to the entire house before I ever found out.

I am just too scared to know the real reason she didn't tell me. What if my real father didn't want me? What if he's in prison or what if he just doesn't know about me?”

I stood to my feet as I saw a tear on rolling down her cheek. I sat on her bed next to her and wrapped my arm around her back.

“I am sure your mother had a good reason. She probably didn't want to upset you. I have a thought that maybe she was afraid that you would hate her and want to leave her. If your real father knows about you that could be another reason she wanted you in the dark. He might not be the man that you would want as a father. He might want to take you from her if you found out to soon. She probably didn't know when the right time to tell you was.

I don't know what your mom is thinking and why he kept it from you but I would suggest that you talk to her. Make your conclusions about whatever she tells you. If your father knows about you take your time to think about everything. Will this change anything between the man that has raised you your entire life? If I were you I wouldn't change a thing between you and him. He raised you when he really didn't have to and gave you his name. That's really big Rachel. He really is your father, but I would still talk to them. Both your mother and your father together so that he's not left out just because he's not biologically related to you. He's still your sibling's father and he will be in your life forever no matter what.”

She sighed and I felt her shake as the sobs took over.

“He will always be my daddy. I don't care about this other man; I just want to know if I have other siblings and maybe meet them or something. I would like the chance to at-least meet my real father and see my family, like grandparents and stuff.”

I smiled as she calmed down. The tears just slowing rolling down her cheeks.

“Do you want me to get your mother and father?”

She shook her head, “I'll get them. This might be a talk for somewhere other than here.”

I nodded and grabbed her hand. She smiled at me and tightened her grip. I knew that whatever happened with Rachel she really was lucky. If her real father wanted to be in her life their family would grow a million times. She would have even more people to love her and cherish her.

We walked down the hall, downstairs straight toward the living room. The younger kids were still watching their cartoons and they smiled widely at us as we pasted them. I stepped into the kitchen and smiled at Momaw. She grinned widely at me and her eyes moved to Rachel. Her eyes lightened up and a she shook her head.

I knew what she was thinking, how did she do it? We have another young mother already.

“Look who I brought to join us.”

Aunt Karen turned around from the stove and her eyes widened at Rachel and I.

“Mom do you think you, dad, and I could have a talk somewhere private?”

Karen smiled and nodded, “Of course. Just as long as Momaw doesn't mind watching the little ones along with Laura?”

Momaw just humphed, “You know Laura and I don't mind. Take your time and make sure you leave nothing out of that talk.”

Karen nodded her head, “Alright. We'll be at the park near town for some privacy. Rachel please get a sweater, it's chilly outside. Jack is outside already doing some stuff but I don't think he'll mind having that talk.”

Rachel nodded and released my hand. I watched her walk toward her mother and wrap her arms around her mother. I watched Karen's shocked eyes and I knew that nothing was going to change. Rachel loved her mother with everything in her and she wasn't going to let this change that.

Rachel pulled away and smiled at Karen, “Just remember no matter what you tell me I will always love you that will never change. As for Jack he will always be my daddy even if it's not by blood, I just wanted you to know that. I'll be right back with that sweater.”

She ran off toward the stairs and I watched Karen collect herself. She raised her head and her eyes connected with mine and I saw the tears welling up in them. She walked toward me and wrapped her arms around me.

“I don't know what you said to her but thank you for whatever it was.”

She pulled away tears streaming down her face and walked off toward the front door. I looked at Momaw and she just grinned at me shaking her head.

Just like last time I knew what she was thinking, God I do believe our dear Laura is growing into one fine woman. She will be such a great mother when she has them.

I sighed and walked into the living room taking a seat on the couch next to Phil. He unconsciously moved closer to me resting his back against my arm. I couldn't help the smile that came over my lips.

I couldn't even fight the thoughts that filled my mind at that moment. Thoughts of Robert's and my kids, what they would look like and if I really would be a great mother.