Celebrity Crush

December 22, 2009

Grandma's house is even worse for Christmas. Karen and the kids are over but Jack isn't. Rachel is helping with her siblings but I can tell it's difficult. Mom is even helping Karen and Momaw with the food.

Momaw tries to cook everything for her annual Christmas party. I can't wait for the party. I'm sitting in the living room with Rachel and the kids. Daphne's trying to show me things she made from her last day at school before the break.

“Cousiy you won't believe what I did at school!!” says Daphne smiling at me.

I smile at her as she gives me this card. The front has the face of Santa Clause but it looks like her class used cotton balls to make his beard more alive looking. The front says HAPPY HOLIDAYS! in red and green writing.

“Open it!”

Rachel grabs her hand giggling, “Cousin Laura is just checking out the artwork sis.”

I smile and chuckle opening the card and smile at what I see. She has drawn grandma's house with a bunch people around it and the top says MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I smile and look down at her, “This is so pretty Daphne. I can't believe you made this. I hope momma Karen puts this on the fridge at home.”

She grins but Rachel cuts her off before she can speak, “It was already on the fridge but she bugged mom and dad to bring it. She wanted you and Momaw to see it.”

I nodded and gave it back to Daphne. She grinned hugging me before running off to the kitchen yelling out, “Momaw, you have to see what I did at school!”

I heard laughter from the kitchen as she went in there. Phil was a different story. He was laying on the couch his entire attention on the annual Christmas specials on TV. He loved the Rudolph one which was the one playing.

Samuel was somewhere in the house or maybe outside. I could tell something was wrong with all of them but I wasn't going to barge in on that front. Rachel didn't seem quite as happy like every other year.

“Rachel?”

She was running her fingers through Phil's hair while he lied on the couch. She turned her head to let me know I had her attention.

“Is something wrong? I mean ever since all of you came over Monday there's been this strange feeling around all of you. I was just wondering what it was.”

She sighed moving her hand from Phil's hair, “I don't know. It might be the fact that my real father showed a few days after Thanksgiving. He somehow caught wind that I knew about him and just showed up. I guess Dad, Jack, is upset that he's in my life or something. Mom and he haven't been getting along since he showed up. I met him and spent a few hours with him at the house. I didn't feel comfortable being out of the house with him so we stayed at home. I don't want to have anything to do with him. He found out about your mother being rich and is only trying to get money out of us. He claims he wants to spend time with me but he's only trying to wriggle his way back into my mom's life to your mother.

Jack doesn't feel comfortable around Aunt Molly. He's tempted to say something to her about it. See if she was the one that told him or something. Sam's being antisocial because dad refuses to come until Christmas Eve. Sam is on his phone texting his friends.”

I nodded my head while biting the inside of my bottom lip. Everything always comes back to my mother. I should have known. Suddenly we heard commotion from the kitchen.

“Damn, we are out of eggs, milk, vanilla extract, and a lot of other things. Can someone go get some of the supplies?”

I sighed listening to Aunt Karen in the kitchen. I stood to my feet giving Rachel a smile and walked toward the kitchen. Mom and Robert were sitting at the table fixing some of the food. Mom was mixing a bowl with an apron around her waist and chocolate all over her fingers.

Robert was cutting up potatoes.

Mom was the first to reply, “Well I can't. If I go I have to shower because of this mess.”

Everyone giggled, “Well someone has to go. Karen and I can't. What about Robert going?”

Everyone looked at Robert but mom spoke up, “Well he doesn't know where anything is around here mom.”

Suddenly we all heard the roar of thunder from outside. Instead of snow for Christmas break all we got was rain, lots and lots of rain.

I sighed, “I could go with him. I can show him where everything is. Just write everything down on a sheet of paper. I go grocery shopping most of the time and I know what everything is.”

Mom sighed but everyone else was smiling. Even Robert was smiling at me.

Momaw was the first to answer, “That's perfect. That way you and Robert can have some bonding time. We can talk to Molly all alone then.”

I giggled and nodded but looked at Robert. He lied down the potato he was cutting in the bowl of water and stood to his feet.

“Go get some shoes on Laura. Preferably not some slip on shoes,” answered Robert.

I nodded and ran from the kitchen toward the stairs. Since mom, Robert, and I were the only ones staying with Momaw this time I had a room completely to myself. I pushed the door open only to hear a groan from the room.

I looked over to see Sam on the other makeshift bed that Rachel had used during Thanksgiving.

“Sorry I didn't know you were in here. Don't mind me; I'm just getting shoes and a jacket.”

He rolled his eyes and I could tell he raised the volume on his music. I walked over to my suitcases and rummaged through them until I found some boots. They were gray which would match my vest and tank underneath. I slipped my feet inside them and laced up the strings.

I found my black denim jacket and pulled it up my arms. I smiled at Sam when he looked at me but he gave me a glare and turned over. I shrugged and walked out of the room. I pulled my jacket closer wishing I had brought another jacket with a hood. I had only brought two jackets with hoods and both were in the wash. Sunday I fell back first in a mud puddle and then Phil and Daphne thought my other jacket was something one uses for markers. Thank god those makers weren't permanent.

I walked down stairs and saw Robert standing at the door. He grinned at me, “Ready to go? Your grandmother and aunt gave me the list already.”

I nodded, “Yep. I'm all ready to go.”

He chuckled at my high spirits and pulled on his own jacket. Once his jacket was on he pulled the door open for me. I grinned and ran out in the pouring rain. I giggled as I ran to the rental black SUV. Robert hit the alarm button before I opened the passenger side door and I climbed on in. He hopped inside the SUV only seconds later.

We both pull our seat belts over us and then he starts the vehicle.

“Which way do I go from here?”

I smiled, “Left for sure. It's quicker.”

He nodded and then pulled the butt of the SUV out of the drive and then changed gears going the way I told him.

“I'm thankful you volunteered for us to go together. I feel like we haven't talked forever.”

I gave him a look, “That's because we haven't. Momaw is very sneaky so that was the reason I said no night visits. She'll catch us just like she caught mom sneaking out all those years ago. Plus mom's been up your butt the entire time. I knew if I volunteered in front of Karen and Momaw she couldn't say no. Momaw said something before mom could disagree, plus I could guess that Momaw and Karen wanted to talk to her without you being in the room.”

Robert nodded, “Which way now?”

I pointed my finger toward his side, “Left again. The highway's right there. The Kroger is right down the highway on the right side after about two more lights.”

He turned and stopped at the light to get out on the highway. My fingers were twisting around in my lap until his hand found mine. He held my hand as he continued driving. I just sat there staring at out intertwined fingers, noticing how perfectly we fit together, like puzzle pieces.

“Is that the Kroger, Laura?”

I raised my head and saw the brown building with the blue Kroger on the top of the building, “Yep that's the one.”

He turned on the blinker and the SUV moved toward the building. He found a parking place rather quickly by the front door. I was unbuckling my seat belt when he grabbed my face pulling my lips toward his. I sighed in his mouth and kissed him back. Kissing Robert had to be my favorite thing in the entire world. I would never get tired of his taste and his lips. The tobacco on his breath was strong which told me he had been smoking a lot more.

We pulled away from the intense kiss, our foreheads leaning against each other while we tried catching our breath.

“I've missed you Laura.”

I giggled, “Nowhere near as much as I've missed you.”

He chuckled and kissed my lips again but with much more care and gentleness this time. We pulled away from each other and just stared into each others eyes.

I spoke up first, “As much as I love just sitting here and staring into your eyes, we should go inside. I already know they must have quite a few things for us to get so we shouldn’t be gone too long though.”

He sighed but nodded his head.

“What's your disguise? Everyone will look at you funny if you have shades on while it's raining.”

He shrugged, “Well I have a hat and I can wear the shades anyway. They might look at me funny but they won't figure it out.”

I sighed and waited for him to put the hat on his head as well as the shades before stepping out into the rain. Here at the store the rain was light compared to the way it had been at Momaw's.

Robert followed behind me as we walked through the automated doors. I found the buggies at the front of the store and grabbed one. Pulling Robert's hand toward me I placed his hand on the cart.

“You push the buggy while I find the food. List please?”

I held out my hand for the list. He pulls the list from his back pocket and grabbed the buggy. We walked to the produce side of the store while I unfolded the paper.

Surprisingly there weren't many things. About twenty things total and most could be found on two or three isles.

“Come on Robert.”

I pulled him to an isle and my eyes started looking down the cans of food. I could feel eyes on me and I looked over at Robert. He was looking right at me just gazing with a star struck look on his face.

“Sometimes I wonder if you're the mom instead of your mother.”

I chuckled without humor. I looked down the aisle some more finally finding the cans of cream of chicken that were on the list. Next was the sugar for the deserts they needed.

“Come on Robert. Stop staring at me and come on.”

He started laughing and I sighed. Was it too much to ask for the world to not continue teasing me this way. We found most of the items on the list and then we came to the last few things on the list after the milk and eggs. Sodas.

I found the twenty four case of coca cola and Robert put them on the bottom of the cart. Next were the Sprites and the Dr. peppers. I was standing in front of the rack looking for something I wanted. Momaw always added extra money for me to find something I really wanted if it wasn't already on the list.

I felt Robert behind me and then suddenly his arms went around my waist. The butterflies went crazy in my stomach; I didn't know what to think. One of his hands moved from my waist to my face rubbing my check before moving to my chin to bring my attention to his face.

His lips were on mine before I could stop him. He pulled me to his chest and kissed my mouth with so much passion. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and started sucking on it causing me to moan. He hadn't kissed me like this since our date night. I missed this Robert, the laid back one, the one that didn't care who caught us.

What stops us was the sound of an old lady gasping from the end of the isle. We pulled away quickly and my eyes found the floor the most interesting thing in the world. I could feel the heat forming in my cheeks as we walked away from the isle.

Robert suddenly started laughing. I glared at him from the corner of my eye but it didn't last for long.

“You should have seen her face. I swear I miss that. Kissing in a grocery store can be checked off the list of things to do before I die.”

A smile came to my lips as his arm came around my back. I just knew the next time I went grocery shopping this experience would be all I would remember.

**

December 23, 2009

Yesterday had been a blast. Coming in the house to see the look on mom's face at our laughter was the best. For a moment I didn't feel second best I felt like she did all the time. She was getting the chance to feel second best for a split second.

Today was dreary for some reason. I had fallen asleep texting Annie in the clothes from yesterday. I was rubbing sleep from my eyes as I walked down the stairs at eleven thirty in the morning.

Karen and the kids had gotten here early this morning and I was getting up for the second time. The first time I had been too sleepy to get some food but now my stomach was on the warpath.

I had a sleepy smile on my face from the dream I had involving Robert. I loved those dreams but I also hated them because they just showed me what could never be.

I could hear Momaw and mom in the kitchen as I walked through the living room. Momaw was leaning against the stove while mom sat at the table across from Aunt Karen. Of course it was last minute dessert making today since some of them would melt before the party.

“Well there's sleepy head,” said Momaw.

I gave her a sleepy smile and walked toward the fridge.

“Laura, honey, I made breakfast. It's in the microwave. It should be fairly warm since it was cooked at eleven. I was cooking Sam some breakfast food since that's what he wanted. I fixed you some as well,” said Aunt Karen.

I gave her a smile and moved to the microwave above the counter, beside the fridge. I hit the thirty second button and moved to the cabinet grabbing a glass. Moving back to the fridge I found a can of Dr. Pepper and filled the glass. I needed my caffeine if I planned to actually stay awake today.

The microwave went off just in time and I hit the button and moved before it hit me in the head. I looked at the plate and smiled at everything on the plate. Chocolate chip waffles, link sausage, bacon, and don't forget a biscuit.

“Thanks Aunt Karen.”

She rolled her eyes and waved me off, “Don't worry about it. This way you don't have to eat just cereal.”

I nodded and Momaw stopped me, “Eat in the dining room. The table's already put up by Robert and Sam.”

She pulled away and then grabbed an envelope from the counter.

“This came for you in the mail this morning. I hope it's from your friends saying happy holidays.”

I shrugged, “Could be but I'm not really sure.”

I took the envelope and walked toward her makeshift dining room. I took a seat at the head of the table placing the plate down before I took a seat. After taking a seat and finding the syrup already on the table I looked outside.

I found Robert outside with Rachel and Sam along with the younger kids. He seemed to be entertaining them perfectly. I bet the adults in the kitchen loved him for that.

I started cutting up my food and taking bites of the sausage before moving to the envelope. I was trying to open the envelope while my attention was on the people just outside the window.

Suddenly the envelope fell to the table and the contents strewn across the table. Pictures were staring back up at me and my eyes widened. I was frozen as my eyes took in those moments with Robert at the grocery store just yesterday.

A found another note once again.

“STILL WATCHING YOU. BE A GOOD GIRL NOW!”

Suddenly my appetite wasn't so big. I grabbed all the contents of the envelope and stood from the table. I left the plate of half eaten food on the table. I ran through the kitchen ignoring the started expressions from everyone in the kitchen.

I ran all the way back to my room and turned the lock. I could hear footsteps running up the stairs as I took a seat on the bed, my back against the wall. I pulled my knees to my chest and let the tears fall.