Celebrity Crush

December 24, 2009

It’s Christmas Eve. I had pushed the letter situation to the back of my mind. I couldn’t dwell on it while here for the holidays. Maybe if I had been home I would have ran off to find Ben but I can’t be too sure.

The house is full of cheer. The Christmas tree is standing tall and proud in a corner of the living room. I can’t believe it’s already Christmas. It feels like just yesterday I was scared about Kimi getting into that fight for me at school and Alex comforting me about it. Alex.

The holidays make me miss him even more. He would call me on Christmas Eve since he couldn’t on Christmas. That would be the time he would tell me Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. I missed him so much today as I walked down the stairs around lunch time.

I had been up most of the morning since the early hours. I helped Momaw with her infamous fudge and pudding once again. I loved helping her because only the helper got to lick the pan or bowl she used.

I can still taste the chocolate from the fudge even though I had brushed my teeth squeaky clean. As I walked down the stairs the front door opened and in stepped Uncle Jack. He had on his jacket and was pulling it off and putting it on the rack.

It was only sprinkling now but it was so cold. Momaw had all of the small electric heaters on around the house since she didn’t have central heating. It went out a few years ago and she didn’t have the money to get it fixed at the time.

“Hi Uncle Jack,” I said with a wave.

He turned around after putting his jacket on the coat rack and gave me a smile.

“Hello Laura. How’s your break been so far?”

I shrugged, “Same old same old, I guess. Not much has change just mom bringing her boyfriend is the only change this year.”

He smiled and nodded, “I take it my wife is in the kitchen?”

I giggled, “Probably so. She’s been cooking up a storm for the past few days, practically since she arrived on Monday.”

A mischievous look came across his face, “I wonder if I can steal a bite of some of the desserts.”

I waved him off, “Good luck with that. Sam tried yesterday and got kicked out of the kitchen all day.”

He chuckled and shrugged, “Well, I have an advantage. She can’t resist me so easily.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Good luck with that.”

He turned on his heel walking toward the kitchen. I step off the stairs and walked into the living room. Robert was actually in the living room with the kids since Rachel’s gone to the service station with her mom’s car.

Daphne’s laying her head on his chest and Phil is sitting under his arm while watching Frosty the Snowman play out on the TV screen in front of them. I walk past them catching Robert’s eye for a split second seeing his eyes light up at me. I blush and walk into the kitchen seeing Jack standing behind his wife, Aunt Karen, and trying to stick his fingers in the bowl she’s messing with.

“Jack, honey, please! Act like an adult, you’re sending the wrong message to young Laura over there.”

I giggled, “Yeah, Uncle Jack, show me how not to sneak into the dessert pan. Maybe if you ask to help her she’ll let you lick the bowl.”

Momaw started giggling, “Yeah, ask to help Jack. She'll let you have your fun too.”

Karen rolled her eyes as Jack moved around her and gave her his pleading eyes. I could see so much love on her face as she looked into his eyes. She couldn’t disagree with him on much when he gave her that look. He wasn’t playing fair and she knew it. She wasn’t complaining because she loved him with all her heart and would do anything for him.

We all heard her defeated sigh and Jack grinned. He pulled out a chair right beside her and she showed him what to add to the bowl while stirring. I shook my head at them. I wish mom was like that when she was with dad but they never had those moments.

I looked around the room and asked, “Where’s mom?”

Momaw answered, “Shower.”

I nodded, “Do you guys need any help?”

Momaw shook her head, “Nope. Believe it or not we only have about three things to cook tomorrow. Some of the guests coming to the party tomorrow called and said they could cook and bring some food themselves. We gave a few guests two things each, we didn’t have much room anyway so it takes a lot off our backs. So go find something to do to entertain yourself, Laura.”

I gave her a smile and walked into the living room. Daphne had fallen asleep on the couch but Phil was still watching the show. I could tell it wouldn’t be long until he joined his sister in napping though. I looked up toward the door and saw Robert grabbing his jacket and pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

I quickened my pace and joined him in the foyer.

“Smoking break, huh?”

He chuckled, “Yeah, having one of those cravings, I guess.”

I nodded, “Can I join you? Mom’s in the shower, no telling when she’s getting out.”

He sighed, “Sure, why not. Get a jacket or something, first.”

I rolled my eyes and found my brown sweater hanging on the coat rack. I pulled it from the rack and pulled it up my arms. It was cold but I liked the cold and since it was only sprinkling the hood on the sweater would do.

I looked at Robert once I was done, “Ready?” He asked.

I nodded and he pulled the door opened letting me walk out first. He came out behind me and walked past me toward the side of the house away from the front drive. Grandma’s house is in the country away from most of the town except for the stores. She only has a few neighbors and they aren’t the nosy type.

Robert walks over to Momaw’s old abandon shed and walks inside. On the outside it looks abandoned but the inside is mostly clean. Momaw likes for it to look bad on the outside but nice on the inside that way no one will be sneaking inside in the middle of the night to steal something.

Robert leans against the wall and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He places the cancer stick in his mouth and raises his hands to cover the end while he tries to lite it with the small black lighter he has. Once it’s lit I watch him take a long drag and sigh as his mouth is filled with the smoke.

I sigh and turn around finding Momaw’s old sun chairs and take a seat. The hood falls from my head as I sit in the chair and twiddle my thumbs while watching him take drag after drag from the cancer stick.

“You do realize that thing causes cancer, right?”

He chuckles, “I’ve been told that once or twice, give or take a few other times.”

I nod, “So why haven’t you quit?”

He sighs, “You do realize that your mother smoke’s right? I mean why aren’t you trying to get her to quit?

I narrow my eyes at him, “For your information, I have tried before. She smoked while she was still with my dad, and I was just a kid when I tried to get her to quit. My school showed me pictures of some of the things that stuff causes, and I cried trying to get her to quit. All she did was rock me to calm me down and say she was my mom and nothing would take her away from me. So don’t try to change the damn subject when you don’t even know the truth.”

He was looking at me with wide eyes as I tried calming myself down once again. He pulled the cigarette from his lips and dropped it to the ground. I watched him rub it out with his foot and then walk toward me taking the other sun-chair next to me.

He grabbed my hand, “Laura, I know why you want me to quit. It’s not that easy but if you really want me to try than I’ll try. I like how worried you are about me and just for you I’ll try that gum stuff instead. I will say this though, if it doesn’t work I’ll go back to the cigarettes, but you can’t say that I didn’t try to quit.”

I sighed and nodded. Suddenly a ringing started, and my eyes widened. I quickly stood to my feet and pull my phone out of my pocket. The phone ID said Kimi. A smile came to my face at the sudden call. I quickly flipped the phone open and pressed my ear to the phone and used my other hand to cover my other ear to hear her better. I never got good connection out here at Momaw’s.

“Kimi?”

I could hear a bunch of static and then her voice.

“Laura? Laura?!”

I chuckled, “Yeah it’s me, girl.”

I heard her sigh, “Finally I got through. Have you heard the news yet?”

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion, “What news, Kimi?”

“You mean you haven't heard?”

“No, I haven’t Kimi. What’s going on?”

Just as she got back on the line it was cut. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen. Signal Lost.

I sighed and closed my eyes flipping the phone closed.

“What was that all about?” asked Robert giving me a curious look.

I shrugged, “I haven’t got the slightest clue. She was asking if I’ve heard the news but I don’t know what she’s talking about. The line cut before she was able to say what it was.”

Suddenly we heard a vehicle pull into the yard as well as the front door of the house open. My eyes widened and I walked to the door of the shed. Peeking out the crack of the door, I saw Sarah’s rental vehicle in the yard, the lights turning off, and mom walking from the house.

“Great, Sarah’s here. Mom’s coming, I have to go.”

I stepped out of the shed before Robert could stop at me and walked toward the house. Mom waved me toward her. I saw this relieved look on her face.

“Laura, I just got a call from my lawyer back in town. They found Ben.”

My eyes widened.

“He’s dead, Laura. He’s been dead since Blake’s funeral. Seems someone found him and killed him because they said the wounds couldn’t have been self-inflicted. He was found around the time we left town for the holidays but they had to identify him before letting out the news. This is a good thing, Laura. The man that killed Blake and Alex is dead and will never bother us again.”

I could feel relieved tears coming to my eyes as mom pulled me to her chest crushing my body in a tight hug. As she continued to hug me I couldn’t help another thought that ran through my mind.

If Ben has been dead all this time, who sent the letters then? That was one question I didn’t know the answer to and that scared me the most.

**

Later that night, everyone was gathered in the living room. Karen, Jack, and their kids are sitting next to each other on a makeshift couch Momaw found. Mom, Robert, Sarah, and I are on the regular couch while Momaw sits in her large chair by the Christmas tree.

I looked down at my watch as it tries to slide down my wrist. Sarah is here alone this time without a man tagging along but she looks bored out of her mind.

My shirt is trying to get caught on my bracelet and I pull the black and blue material away from what’s making it stick to my bracelet.

Momaw stands to her feet and quiets down the chatter around us, “Well, according to my tradition it’s time for Christmas Eve gifts. According to tradition only one gift gets open tonight. You can choose who the gift comes from so let’s get started. Let’s get one person from each couch to open their gifts.”

I sigh as Momaw picks Sam from the other couch and Mom from our couch.

Sam went first before mom and picked a gift from Momaw. The gift was wrapped, and he ripped the paper to the floor. Inside was one of those NASCAR jackets with the M&Ms logo on it. I remember he had wanted one for a while now. He grinned and stood to his feet hugging Momaw to death.

Mom was next, “I pick a gift from Robert.”

Robert sighed, “I only got you two gifts, Molly. Are you sure you want one of them now?”

She smiled and nodded her head, “I still want one of them.”

He nodded and then stood to his feet and walked to the stairs. Her gifts were hidden in his suitcase at the moment. Momaw picked the younger kids from the other couch while we waited on Robert to bring her gift.

Daphne and Phil got gifts from Momaw. Daphne got another doll but this one was a Bella doll. I couldn’t help but laugh. Phil got a Captain America doll still in the case. They both hugged Momaw’s legs as Robert came back.

He took a seat and then handed mom a small rectangle. She smiled brightly at him and tore the wrapping off. Everyone seemed to be watching her open the box since we all knew it was jewelry. The only people not paying attention were Daphne and Phil since they were too busy trying to open their gifts.

Mom gasped and I turned my head back to her. She pulled out a beautiful diamond necklace that must have cost a fortune. She gazed at the necklace and then suddenly she was hugging and kissing Robert. Daphne looked over at them and made a face that I saw since I turned my gaze away. It was hard watching their PDA when it broke my heart every time.

“Eww. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Cooties!!”

Everyone started laughing at Daphne’s outburst which caused mom and Robert to abruptly break apart. I sighed and then Momaw looked at me.

“Okay Robert and Laura can go now. Three people have gone from the other couch, so we need to catch up.”

Robert sighed, “Gift from Molly.”

Mom smiled and pulled a small box from her bag. Momaw looked at me expectantly, “What about you Laura?”

I sighed, “Gift from Momaw, please.”

I wanted a gift from Robert, but I doubt he actually bought me anything since he spent so much money on just two gifts for mom. Momaw looked down under the tree and pulled out a big box for me. I smiled with wide eyes trying to figure out what it could be as I took it from her hands.

“Who wants to go first?”

Mom spoke before anyone could, “Let Rob go first.”

I sighed and just shrugged when Momaw looked at me. Robert sighed but pulled the wrapping from the box. I looked down in my lap thinking about the gift I had bought him myself.

Robert opened the box to find a men’s chain bracelet. He looked at it for a moment until mom spoke, “Look at the inscription.”

Robert picked up the bracelet and found writing on the inside of the chain.

“Merry Christmas, Robert! Love you for all my life.”

Robert’s face became stone and I could tell he wanted the attention directed away from him for now.

“How about I go now?”

The attention was moved from Robert back to me now. Mom seemed upset because Robert didn’t say anything about the gift. I looked down at the wrapped box in my lap and began pulling the wrapping paper off.

Under the paper was a white box and I pulled the tape from the side of the box and then pull the top open. There was green and red stuffing paper inside and I pushed it aside. Nestled inside the box was a black women's military style jacket.

I grinned and pulled it from the box to show everyone. It was beautiful and I loved it with my whole heart. I laid the box on the couch and gave Momaw a huge hug squeezing her to let her know just how much I loved her and the gift.

“You’re Welcome, honey.”

I pulled back and went to the couch laying the jacket in my lap. My mind dozed from there. I remember briefly seeing Sarah get a beautiful watch from Momaw and then Karen and Jack getting coats from Momaw. It seemed Robert and Mom were the only ones that didn't want to open gifts from Momaw.

After gift wrapping the atmosphere got awkward. Neither mom nor Robert had spoken since he opened his gift and everyone could feel the tension.

“Well, I think it's time to get the little ones home. Got to get in the bed early or Santa won't come.”

I smiled at Aunt Karen and Jack as they stood to their feet. I watch them gather up the younger kids along with their gifts. Everyone hugged Momaw and then Daphne came running toward me. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and pulling back she held out her pinky, “Promise that you'll be here tomorrow?”

She had been doing this everyday she left. She was afraid I was going to leave without telling her goodbye. I had done that one year because mom was in a hurry and they didn't get to Momaw’s in time for me to tell her goodbye.

I wrapped my pinky around hers nodding my head, “I pinky promise Daphne. Merry Christmas! You better tell me about everything you get from Santa tomorrow.”

She giggled and then hugged me again before Phil came to get her. She waved at me as they walked to the front door. Karen came and gave me a hug but not mom since she looked like she would blow a gasket any minute.

I waved to them as they walked out the door. We heard their vehicle pull out before Sarah stood to her feet, “Well, I guess, I'm sharing a room with Laura, tonight.”

I groaned but one look from Momaw shut me up. Sarah walked to the stairs replying, “Well, I'm going to take a long hot bubble bath.”

As she was walking up stairs mom stood to her feet, “I'll be back later mom. I need to clear my head.”

We all heard Robert sigh as she grabbed her purse along with her jacket and walked out the door. Robert looked undecided until he looked at my face, the look on my face must have given him his answer because he stood to his feet following mom out the door.

Momaw sighed, “Laura, you wouldn't mind accompanying me to the den, would you? The fireplace in there is working again. I have some hot coco if you want some.”

I smiled and nodded. We hadn't had grandma and granddaughter time yet. She smiled and I walked over to her helping her stand from her big chair. We walked in the kitchen to fix the hot coco. Plenty of milk made it where we didn't have to use water and placed them in the microwave since the stove took too long.

Momaw held her mug close to her as we walked through the house to the farthest part. Momaw's den was nice and cozy with a computer and desk off to one side and a lounge chair in another corner, her personal reading chair as she called it. Then there was a love seat in front of a small fireplace. It wasn't as grand as most, but it was hers and whenever she could, she used it. I saw the fireplace already had logs inside telling me she must have gotten Robert, Sam, or Jack to chop her some wood. She placed her mug on the mantle and found a brown paper bag and used a lighter to light it. That was all it took since the logs were dry and had oil over the top of them.

I sighed as I took a seat just admiring the fire.

“What's on your mind, baby doll?”

I sighed taking a sip of the chocolate drink. I kicked off my shoes bringing my feet under my butt and shrugged, “Nothing really, Momaw.”

She humphed, “That's the biggest lie if I ever heard one. You know you are my grand-baby, and you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, I never have.”

I sighed, “I guess something is on my mind. Did mom tell you about Ben?”

That was one thing on my mind but not the most troublesome. She didn't have to know that though.

She nodded bring her mug to her lips to take a sip. She answered after the sip, “Yes, she told Karen, Jack, and myself before she came outside to tell you. What's got you so troubled?”

I sighed, “I guess it's just that he's really dead. It makes me wonder who could have killed him. There are so many people that hate him so it could be anyone in town. I just...I don't know. I feel like Alex and Blake got suckered out of their justice. Someone else killed him before he could pay the price of what he did. I'm not saying that someone taking his life wasn't enough justice, I'm just saying that whoever did it, made it where he could never stand trial for what he done.”

She nodded sipping her drink through my speech, “She didn't tell you that everyone that was hurt because of him was called as well? I suppose that your friend, Kimi, was trying to tell you when she was cut off. She was called too because of her wreck, the police didn't know if Ben's company had caused it or not. Alex's and Blake's families might think differently about the entire thing, don't you think?”

I shrugged, “I know Alex's family will see justice but I'm not sure about Blake's. Ben was Blake's Uncle and he still killed him. I think that family's suffered through enough tragedy.”

Momaw sighed. She came closer to me and we sat there in front of the fire just having a moment like I wished I could have with my own mother.