Celebrity Crush

Driving at night is never a good idea. The other drivers on the road do not care if their headlights blind you to the point you have a wreck. I am currently at a red light about to turn down my street.

My brain and nerves are exhausted. They have gained a lot of information for one day. I really just need to get home and take a warm bath or shower and relax.

Suddenly I heard a horn blast and I noticed the light changed. I pressed my foot against the gas and turned down my street.
The street was barely lit with street lights. I had to squint my eyes to see down the street.

I was greeted by the same houses as I was everyday. As I got closer to my house I began to hope that they hadn’t made it home yet.

I got to the house and pulled into the drive. I put the jeep in park and turned the key killing the engine. As I suspected they weren’t home yet and I was incredibly thankful.

I placed my keys in my jacket pocket and opened the door.

The night air was cold as it hit me. I closed the jeep door shaking my head. I was trying to get rid of the mess in my head.
I turned toward the house turned pulling out my house key. As I learned from my father I left the light in the kitchen on hoping that any robbers would think someone was home.

I pulled the key from the knob and walked inside. The house was way to quiet for my liking and every little noise I made seemed incredibly loud to my small ears. I walked upstairs toward my room.

Once in my room flipped on the light. I let out a gulp of air as I noticed the time was 9:00 p.m.
I walked over to my dresser and searched for something to wear to bed.
After searching for sometime I came across a purple lace trim cami, some butterfly pajama pPy Pants, aerie lace boyshorts, and my white and aqua embroidered slippers.

I sat the clothes on the end of my bed and began to search for my ipod.
I found it in my jacket pocket and threw it on top of the clothes. I pulled off my jacket and slipped off my shoes.

I picked up my clothes and made my way to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and closed the door behind me.
My portable speakers were sat on the table and I attached my iPod to the speakers.

I sat the clothes on the hamper and started the shower. I pressed play on my iPod playing “Better Than Me” by Hinder.

I striped and stepped in the shower listening to the music.

Better Than Me lyrics

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)

Once the song was finished my hair was washed and I was clean. I pulled on my pajamas and towel dried my hair.
For only a few seconds I stared in the mirror wondering what was so incredibly special about me that Kimi would want to stick up for.

I just shook my head and comb through my hair. Afterward I picked up my iPod and opened the door. The cold air from the A/C was blistering cold.
I knew I couldn’t change the temperature since my mom would turn it once she got home. I searched my closest for some kind of jacket to wear.

I found my blue and purple checkered jacket. I unzipped it and pulled it on. I decided to

go downstairs and take my medicine that I needed.

I walked downstairs slowly as I could.
The house was freezing and just getting out of the shower doesn't help at all. The house seemed quieter than earlier, but I was use to the quiet.

I pulled the birth control pill, the anxiety pills, and tension headache prevention pills from the cabinet over the sink. Suddenly I heard the phone ring and I walked toward the base of the phone to check the caller id.

Just as I predicted the phone read Molly Crystal Scope 616-7584. I decided against answering the phone and let the machine get it. Hopefully she would think that I went to bed.

“Hello you have reached the May's residence. Sorry I can't get to the phone I actually have a life and will get to you as soon as possible. If you still want me to break my neck to get back to you than leave your name and number. Later.”

I couldn't help but laugh. I made that message when she was gone and it always made everyone who called laugh or get freaked out.
Sometimes people calling for my mom would think they called the wrong place with this being the May residence.

“Laura honey, I am calling to let you know that we are going to be home later than expected. You don't have to wait up for us and I promise we will be extra quiet when coming home. Make sure to lock up before you go to bed. Well gotta go.”

Of course. I am really not surprised about the late homecoming. I just hope that Robert can handle her partying ways.

I swallowed the pills and put away the bottles. I turned off the light in the kitchen and in the living room. I peaked out the window and starred at the dark star filled sky.

It always amazed me at how I could look at the shy and know that I wasn't alone in the world. Of course I had the worst mother but I it wasn't like I was that bad off. At times I consider myself lucky to have the life I have.

I have the best friends in the world and my mother is only a small bump in the road at the moment. I let out a gulp of air and closed the curtain back the way it was.

I headed back upstairs as slow as possible. I never admitted it but I hated going to sleep in a house alone. When my sister babysat me one night there was a burglary about a house down from us and I have always been a tad bit afraid that some would sneak in on me alone.

Soon I was standing in my room. I turned around and closed the door tight. I didn't lock the lock in-case mom wanted to check on me when she got home. Although I could already guess that when she gets home she will be a little tipsy.

I went to my desk and began searching for a book. I searched through the many Sarah Dessen books I had until I found my favorite: “The Truth About Forever.” I picked up the book and tucked in under my arm. I searched for my ipod next and plugging in my headphones.

I turned off the over head light and pulled off my jacket. I laid all my things on the bed and pulled down the cover. I pulled down my pajama pants and sat on the bed. I was in my boyshorts and cami as I pulled the covers over my legs. I placed the headphones in my ears and searched for a song to listen to.

I opened the book to my favorite place. I love to read my favorite place in a book over again to help me sleep. I tucked the lose hair behind my ear and laid back against the pillows. I listened to “Everything you want” by vertical horizon and continued reading my book until I fell asleep.

I only hope my life doesn't get any worse and only better.

Everything you want by Vertical Horizon
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

Chorus
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
Chorus
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
Chorus
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know
why
Why
I don't know