Thinking Back to Those Days

She sat down and said, “Thanks, I am really sorry to have bothered you, but I really needed help. How did you get Emmy to sleep? She never goes to sleep for anyone but my mother. I owe you big time.”

“No you don’t, because it’s no problem Paloma, I am glad to help. I just sang her a song that is all.”

I looked at her; she moved her hair from her face, looked at me and then looked down.

“Can I ask you something Paloma?”

“Anything at all Billie Joe.”

“Where is your mother? Is all this, the reason that you haven’t been able to hang out, and why you have missed so much school, why you are so sleepy and tired all the time?”

She looked to the ceiling, and then she looked me in the eyes, with a heavy, weary sigh.

“When we moved here, my dad had been dead for two months. Mom was trying to move on, trying really hard for us. The mover guy was really attracted to my mom, vice versa. My mother, she is so pretty you know? You should see her. So anyways, they started to date, and she swore that she was in love after three boxes of chocolate and one shag later. It all moved too fast.

A month ago, we were all here eating dinner. My responsibilities had grown by then, as you know, and it was because when Shawn came in the picture, she didn’t have time for us anymore. Anyways, we were sitting at the table and a knock on the door comes. Turns out there is a Mrs. Shawn Newman, she came, broke some of our stuff, punched my mother in the face, then dragged her husband out of our house.

Long story short Bill; my mother couldn’t stand losing another man. Since then she has been stuck in her room, with depression. She is shunning her older daughter, rebellious seven year old and that beautiful little baby right there. We are lost without her, and I have had to pick up the slack. I don’t know what to do anymore Billie Joe, I just don’t. “

Her eyes filled with tears, and I brought her into a hug. She held onto me tightly and then I said, “Listen to my Paloma; whenever you need help, you need to call me. You also need to try and find some help for your mom, so she can get better. I don’t want you to cry anymore, okay? You’re too fucking good, and too strong for that. I know you are. Everything is going to get better, because you, out of all the people I have known, deserve happiness. Because you are perfect. Good music and a good soul. We need more people like you in the world. I wish I could be more like you, that I could be free from this suburban trap. You live your life different, and you care about everything. You opened a door for me when you walked through the door at Pinole. Thanks for that, thanks for being my friend. And you deserve the world. You know that?”

It came then. Her lips touched mine, and we kissed. The first one was soft, and lingering. The next one was astounding. Our mouths found the perfect positions to land in, our hands in each other’s hair, tongues licking and tasting.

Today, I love my wife. She is the best woman in the world. I will always love her. But I will never forget that night, and that kiss, and that girl, that woman on that couch that night.
The kissing stopped when her sister turned in her sleep, we were afraid of waking her. We never shared another one.

But I stuck around and we talked all night. Because it just felt right. Right to be with her, right to be in her company, graceful, beautiful, clever, and smart, and amazing.