Well Thought Out Twinkles

I walked into the building. I pulled the glass door open, Ville was pacing back and forth. I smiled, pulled my sunglasses off and put them in my bag.

He ran over, wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off of the ground. I smiled and hugged him back.

"Oh god, I missed you." He whispered in my ear.

"You're lucky, you almost lost me." I said. I might as well have stabbed him. He put me down, he slipped his hand in mine. He did this when he didn't know what to say, I've noticed.

He led me through a hallway and into a office. It was calming. My nerves calmed from just being there. Ville closed the door behind us then led me to a set of two white chairs behind a large oak desk.

Ville smiled then tugged on my cardigan. I smiled. This was his favorite outfit of mine; white and blue cardigan, white camisole with lace at the top, khaki's and chuck taylors; don't ask me to explain. It's very...clean.

A man wearing a light blue button down shirt and very well pressed dress pants sat down behind the desk in front of us.

He cleared his throat, "You're Alice, right?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I'm Alice Margera."

Ville laced his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand.

"And you were the one who asked Ville to come here."

"Yes, his drinking was getting out of control he was drunk for weeks on end. At first it wasn't so bad." I paused, I didn't want to blatantly say what happened between us. I don't want people to know that Ville is capable of what he did. Because he's not, the alcohol is.

"Go on." He encouraged. I glanced at Ville, he nodded.

"But then he became like a completely different person." I didn't want to say it, I didn't want to tell him. It was like if I didn't say it, it wasn't true, "He became the person I thought he wouldn't. He blamed what happened with our son on me. It's like he made that revelation then became abusive. He would push me up against the wall and get in my face. He came close to hitting me. I'd run into our room, lock the door and call his brother."

Ville squeezed my hand. The doctor smiled, "Ville, now you see how this affects other people."

He hung his head, "I see that, I know that. It's a lot more real when you're here telling me. I didn't want it to happen...I just couldn't handle having you not being yourself and then Jacob was all the way in America. It was too hard." He ran his hands through his hair and laughed hesitantly.

"I have to admit. It was hard on me too but I was trying my best." I smiled.

"I know. When you're sad, I'm sad."

I had a dream that you were with me, It wasn't my fault.